The Boron Letters -
Friday, 11:05 AM
June 15, 1984
It was very nice for all of you to come up yesterday and
bring me a birthday cake. It is good to know that you are
all on my side and that I have a strong outside "support
I hope everybody understood why I wanted to leave before
7:30. If I hadn't left when I did I would have missed
commissary and I wouldn't have gotten my supply of fruit for
the whole week. Also, Doc, my best friend in Boron so far,
was leaving the next morning (that's this morning; he's gone
now) and I needed to spend more time with him.
But I do appreciate all of you and I just wanted to let you
Onward. Let's get back to the subject of physique. As I said
yesterday, I believe the best physique for a man is lean and
hard with strong muscular arms but not a bulging, exaggerated
But why do I stress arm development so much? There are
several reasons. As I said yesterday, one benefit is that it
is just plain handy to have a long of strength in your arms.
I also said the kind of body I have been touting is
attractive to women and wins you respect from men.
Let's talk about that respect a little bit. The first thing
I want to say is that a fat, sloppy or skinny and weak body
tends to broadcast to the world that the owner of that body
is lacking self-respect. The second thing is that tough
animals have a tendency to prey on weak or helpless animals.
Here is something to remember: DEFENSIVE BEHAVIOR INVITES
What that means is that in life in general (and in prison in
particular) there is very little sympathy for a weakling.
There's a guy here that I used to like but now he is
starting to irritate me. In many ways he's nice old guy
(I'll write more about him later) but he is serving a
miserable 100 day sentence (maybe it's even less) and he
shuffles around like a plantation nigger trying to please "Ol
Massah." What's going on is plain and simple: He's scared.
Now, that's no sin. God knows I've been scared many times.
But this guy stays scared when there is no need to be and it
is very unattractive to watch.
Now, don't get the wrong idea and start worrying about this
guy. I am very nice to him and so is everybody else.
Everybody cuts him a lot of slack. This is a very "soft"
place to do your time and all I want to do by describing
this man's mode of behavior to you is to make a point.
The point is this: Bond, as you know, I am a very
non-violent person and if this guy, by acting like such a
pussy, can irritate me, just think how some hard vicious
hard-nosed jerk in a real prison would be affected by him!
You see, this guy is sending out signals and those signals
are saying, "I'm scared. I'm a pussy. I'm easy. I'm
vulnerable." And so on.
And, unfortunately, not everybody in the world is kind or
sympathetic. Some men just look for guys like this guy to
God, I'm long-winded aren't I? Anyway, finally to get to the
point, what I'm trying to say is that it is far better to:
rely on your own strength
instead of somebody
And, to make the obvious point, you've obviously first got
to have some strength in order to be able to rely on it.
You can't fake it. At least it's not a good idea. Especially
in a prison or anywhere else where there are "mean streets".
You don't need to "act tough"; you need to be tough.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about being mean or
macho or even pushy. I'm also not talking about pumping iron
for hours a day or getting a black belt in Karate either.
You don't have to do all that. Plain simple toughness will
do. You see most predators, when it comes to their victims,
are very practical. Let's face it. If a couple of guys
decide to go to the park and mug somebody, they aren't going
to pick on some big gnarly looking guy. No, they will go
after the victim who looks like easy pickup.
You know what? I believe that if you have two guys of the
same height and same weight and you dress them both in a
full suit of clothes that most of the time you will still be
able to tell who is the toughest. You see, when you "get
tough" not only does your appearance change; your "signals"
change also. The way you move, the way you hold yourself,
your reactions to outside stimuli - all of that changes.
So I want you to start getting tough and self reliant. By
the way, I read a quote by John D. Rockefeller in "The
Enquirer" today to the effect that nothing is as satisfying
as self reliance and I totally agree.
But don't get confused. I don't want you to become a fighter
in the physical sense as much as I want you to become a
"Fight Avoider". And I want you to be able to avoid fights
without losing your dignity.
And one of the best ways to avoid fights (I know this sounds
kind of silly!) is to have big arms. Have you ever heard
this comment? "Damn! Look at the arms on that guy! How'd you
like to meet him in a dark alley?!"
Big strong arms. Start developing them right now. There are
no drawbacks and many benefits.
Well, hopefully, by now now I've got you doing your road
work, developing your arms and eating more or less properly.
On that assumption I am going to temporarily drop this area
and start writing about how to make money. We'll come back
to health and fitness later though.
But tomorrow we'll start on money. However, right now, I
want to comment briefly on one of my friends here. He is
black and he was formerly in San Quentin for shooting two
Santa Monica cops because he thought they were trying to get
his supply of dope.
He's a heroin dealer from Hollywood and he is 55 years old
and he is indeed a "career criminal". He thought she was
going to OD from the heroin he had sold her. He's a
fascinating guy and maybe we'll talk about him at another
Some guy was taken out of his hand cuffs yesterday. They
found a bunch of money and pot in his hobby shop locker.
Last night my friend Doc told me a story about this guy. It
seems that some guy snitched on him and his wife and caused
his wife to go to jail.
Well, anyway, for some reason this guy was in another
institution and he was part of a line of guys who were hand
cuffed and in chains when he spots the snitch.
What does he do? Simple. He grabs a nearby pencil (or pen, I
forget) and tries to ram it into the snitch's brain by
stabbing him in the eye. As it turned out, he didn't kill
the snitch, but he did manage to blind him.
What the hell. It was just "his way".
I'm going to sign off now. Are you following my suggestions?
I love you and Good Luck!
main point of this letter is again VERY well made and quite
clear. However, a few of the short sentences surrounding the
main lesson trigger memories of other lessons and amazing facts
about my dad.
beginning seems like a simple "sorry for cutting everything
so short last time" sentence to his family and it was,
but it is also a whole lot more.
one, you can see how nothing stood in the way of what Gary felt
was important to his life and routine. He really did prioritize
well. Even these letters to me start with health first and then
get into what he alone could teach.
point is his appreciation for a good support system. Everyone
knows a good support system can be REALLY helpful. Look at men
of average skills who attain lofty positions for no better reason
than their support system. But my dad had a rare and enviable
skill of eradicating people from his life if they were not a
all have people in our lives we are stuck dealing with for a
variety of reasons such as loyalty based on past friendship,
family or some other sense of duty. Well not my pop. He said
SCREW THAT and cut anyone who impeded his enjoyment right out
of his life for good.
wasn't mean, but he just wouldn't put up with nonsense from
ANYONE! My brother Kevin is like that and I try to learn from
them because it makes a lot of difference to one's success.
Imagine if everyone you deal with is really on your side and
not only believes in you, but they all also want to seriously
help you accomplish your goals.
people think the hard part is finding positive people, but that
isn't true. Go to any learning Annex workshop with Trump speaking
and you will find positive people with hope. No, the real trick
is to cut out those that hold you back.
first person to try and hold my dad back was his own father.
On several occasions he told me of how my grandfather told him
he wouldn't be able to breakout of the average working Joe's
existence. He had such a lack of faith in my pop that when he
actually did strike it rich, he wouldn't believe it until my
dad showed him mailbags full of checks from people wanting to
buy from him. This was after he bought a new custom home and
a built a huge business.
my dad stopped seeking his father's approval, he realized he
was in control of his own destiny and without being malicious,
he started to rid himself of the people that held him back.
sent some money to his mom whenever she needed anything, but
for the most part we moved to California and my grandparents
became a much smaller part of our lives.
even wrote about this in "The Dark Side Of Success"
would never want me to tarnish the name of anyone in the family
by citing examples, but suffice it to say that he had the ability
and more importantly the WILL to eliminate or marginalize anyone
in his life that he felt was too negative.
of us like to think we would do the same, but we always have
an excuse. So and so is my in-law so I can't tell him to piss
up a rope or we have been friends since high school. Screw that.
And never ever encourage people who drag you down to hang around.
support system is like a garden and you always need to be on
the lookout for weeds to pull.
other lesson in this chapter is don't be or appear to be a weak
target. He discusses having large arms as a deterrent and he
is 100% right. Right around the time before he went to prison
a friend of mine commented that he wouldn't mess with my dad.
The comment struck me as odd because I saw my dad as one big
loveable guy of average height and my friend had just kicked
his mom's boyfriend's ass about a week earlier.
asked him why he thought so and his answer was "his arms".
His arms weren't huge like a body builder, but you could tell
they were strong. Proving the point my dad would later be making
in this fourth letter.
business my father tried to never appear weak and it is easier
to not appear weak when you are strong. If he found out someone
was charging more for an ad he raised his price. He was the
best and he was putting it out there. Carry yourself with confidence
(not arrogance) in everything you do and people will respond
to it in a good way.
ends the letter with a quote by Rockefeller that self reliance
is the most satisfying thing in the world and it is important
to know that often self-reliance is the real motive of great
business men and not money.
Copyright © 2005 Gary C. Halbert. All Rights