Friend & Subscriber,
There is something a tiny bit different about
this newsletter from all of the other newsletters I have
written in recent years. Did you catch it?
Just in case you didn't, if you'll reflect a
moment, all of my newsletters in recent years have said,
"From: South of Jewfish Creek" or "From: North
of Jewfish Creek." That's because during the past several
years, I have measured where I am on this planet in relation
to the location of Jewfish Creek.
Jewfish Creek is approximately two miles long
and it is located at the northern tip of the Florida Keys.
There is a small drawbridge which has to open up for you if
you are on a boat of any size going either north or south on
Jewfish Creek. This drawbridge is located on the road which
goes over Jewfish Creek which is known as either U.S. Highway
1 or A-1-A. Incidentally, U.S.1 goes north all the way to the
northernmost part of Maine... and... south to the southernmost
point in the continental United States in Key West, Florida.
For many people, the 18-mile stretch of U.S.1
which Jewfish Creek flows beneath is known as what you might
call a "Second Mason-Dixon Line." If you are
anywhere south of Jewfish Creek, you are in Monroe County,
Florida in which all of the Florida Keys are located. If you
are almost anywhere north of Jewfish Creek, you are in Dade
County which encompasses all of Greater Miami.
Jewfish Creek is not just a physical location.
It is a boundary between two distinct civilizations. South of
Jewfish Creek (in the Florida Keys) almost all the people you
encounter will be laid-back, "American-Americans"
who are basically content on minding their own business and
leading pleasurable lives.
When you are north of Jewfish Creek (in
Greater Miami) most of the residents are
"Latin-Americans" who live dysfunctional lives at
such a frenzied pace, it is hard for the rest of us to
comprehend. And, in Dade County, English is for
real a second language. Some of the stores in Miami
actually have signs in them that say: "English
My legal address is the same address on the
masthead of this newsletter. However, since I live on a 52'
ocean-going houseboat, most of the time my resident address is
wherever I choose it to be in South Florida.
For those of you who know about such things as
a GPS Device (Global Positioning System) the precise
geographical location of Jewfish Creek is 2511.015N
OK, now that I've given you a fair amount of
information which probably held no interest for you
whatsoever, let me switch to a topic about which I know you
are extremely interested in... which is, of course...
Making More Fungolas!
Listen, you know what the hardest part
of writing a sales message is? It's getting started. And do
you know what is the most-often missing ingredient in a
sales message? It's the sales message doesn't tell an
As I've repeated
endless times in this newsletter, the formula for making a
sale via direct response is AIDA,
which stands for:
Many people spend most of their time (and justifiably so) on
writing compelling headlines. But often, what comes after the headline is not
of much interest to the reader. So, what I'm going to give you this month is a
bunch of real world ways to begin a sales message by starting to tell a story
devised to capture your reader's attention.
Here are the examples:
How would you like
to have a guarantee you could have anything (and I mean anything)
in the world you could possibly want?
Believe it or not, now
You see, there are a
small number of "mind scientists" who have been quietly
working (behind the scenes) to find out exactly
what a person has to do... to get... virtually anything he or she
These are not
"scientists" with formal degrees. Many of them have never
been to college. However, they have rather loosely united to share
with each other their absolutely mind-boggling discoveries. At the top
of the mountain of this unique group of people is an attractive,
energetic woman named Cynthia Kersey. She has written a book about how
anyone can become...
Did you know the quality of your smile has a more
direct effect on your personal (and
than any other part of your appearance?
In fact, 88% of all people in North America say they always
remember someone with an especially attractive smile. Not only that,
75% agree an unattractive smile can seriously hurt a person's chances
for financial success. Perhaps,
that's why more than half of the adults in America wish they could
change their smile. Some adults want to correct problems they have had
since childhood like discolored, crooked or irregular-shaped teeth.
Others want to fix conditions they've developed over time, like
cracked, worn-down and discolored teeth. There is good reason for
this. You see...
Your Smile Can Make Or Break You!
For hundreds of years, all the way from Mona Lisa to today's
cover girls, the absence or presence of a dazzling smile has always carried
great significance. It is a reliable indication of a person's sense of
well-being and has an enormous impact on a person's health, self-esteem...
and... both personal and business relationships.
Dear Mr. Everett,
As you can see, I am sending you a $1.00 bill with
I'm doing this for a reason: This is the most
important letter you will ever read and I needed some way to make sure this letter would catch your attention.
And, quite frankly, there is ANOTHER reason I am
sending you this dollar bill. I'll tell you the other reason in a
minute... but first... there is a strange story I have to tell you. In
fact, I've got to get this off my
chest before I explode!
Listen, I know you live in Massillon, Ohio. I've never
been there and I don't know much about that area. However, I looked it
up in my Atlas of the United States and I noticed it is about 40 miles
south of Cleveland. And here is why the location of Massillon, Ohio is
so interesting to me.
Have you ever wanted to make some really big money?
Maybe become a millionaire or even... a
If so... and... if you live in or near Boston... there
is now a very real chance you will be able to do it.
Here is why: Three years ago, a man who was dying of
cancer hired a very smart individual (she had an IQ of 170) to work on
a research project... to find out...
What Would Be The Very Best Way
To Get Rich In Boston After
The Year 2000 Had Come And Gone?
If you own or operate a business or, if you are simply
someone who would like to make a lot of money very quickly, this may
be the most exciting message you will ever read.
Here is why: My name is Gary Halbert and, some time
ago, I was dead broke. My business was almost bankrupt and I couldn't
even pay the rent. Actually, I wasn't just broke, I was desperate.
Then, one day, I came up with a "crazy idea"
about how to write a certain kind of sales letter (it was not a
chain letter) that would get people to send me money.
My name is Betty Adams and, the first thing you should
know about me is... I am not a
I'm not an expert on nutrition either. I never went to
college and I don't have a degree in anything. In fact, the only thing
I consider myself an "expert" about is...
I Think I Know How Almost Any Woman In
America Can Lose Up To 63 Pounds
In A Very Easy Way!
I know... because... I
As you know, if you are a Hollywood star, you... must...
Not only that... in most cases (if you are a woman)...
you must also... look young! What
this means is, sooner or later, many female stars are almost forced to get plastic surgery.
But, not any more. Now, at last, there is a new
scientific product (developed by a scientist in Texas) which 100%
eliminates the need for Hollywood stars (or, anyone else for that
matter) to ever again have to go to a doctor to perform surgery to
look younger. This means:
There is now a "secret weapon" which makes
it possible for long-haul truckers to pay zero taxes.
And, before you even ask, I want to tell you it is 100%
How many times have you gone to bed wondering just how
much longer you can survive sky-high fuel prices? Even if you are
fortunate enough to be "getting by," wouldn't it be nice to
have some financial "breathing room"?
Well, guess what? I have some serious financial relief for you... if... you are willing to try a
Let's talk about how the size of a woman's breasts
relates to her I.Q.
The size of a woman's breasts is measured by the cup
size of her bra. A woman who wears an "A" cup is generally
considered to have small breasts. A woman who wears a "D"
cup bra is generally considered to have large breasts. A woman with
even larger breasts might wear a "double D" ("DD")
or even a "triple D" ("DDD") bra.
There are even "E" cup bras and
"F" cup bras and "H" cup bras. These bras are made
for women with extraordinarily large breasts.
Remember Jo Cavanaugh, the computer expert I told you
about in my last letter? She wears an "I" cup bra... and...
it is a "triple I" ("III") size. Just for the
record, the actual size of her breasts is 52III.
Let me tell you something else about Jo. While it's
true she has huge breasts, that is perhaps the least important
component of her as a human being. She is a Christian woman with
incredibly high moral standards and probably the brightest computer
mind I've ever encountered. Yet, when you see her for the first time,
before you get to know her truly well, most likely you will be so
"dazzled" by her physical assets, you won't be able to see
further into her mind and personality... and discover... she is (when
it comes to computers) almost the equivalent of a female Einstein.
So, why am I telling you all this?
Did you know that your family name was recorded with a
coat-of-arms in ancient heraldic archives more than seven centuries
My husband and I discovered this while doing some
research for some friends of ours who have the same last name as you
do. We've had an artist recreate the coat-of-arms exactly as described
in the ancient records. This drawing, along with other information
about the name, has been printed up into an attractive one-page
If you would like to know how someone can start with a
simple idea... and then... generate over $51,000,000 in sales in just
one year... this is going to be the most interesting message you will
Here is why: There's a guy in California named Carl
Palmer who, until recently, was very wealthy and very bored. He got
rich (the first time) by starting a company in 1970 which he sold out
to Coca-Cola just three years later in 1973. As part of the deal, he
had to sign a "non-compete" agreement with a duration of
After that five years ended, he went back in business
and built up another company which was soon acquired by the giant AMF
Corporation. After that, Carl developed Shackley's reverse osmosis
home water filtration system... and... in the first year... they did
$51 million in sales with that product.
And so on.
You get the idea. What this guy does is, he comes up
with enormously valuable inventions, starts a company to sell these
inventions... and soon... he goes nuts with all the hassles of running
a business... and so... he sells out (at a huge profit) to some giant
corporation that has the resources and the clout to exploit the living
daylights out of whatever it is he has invented.
But now, he has outdone
himself. Now, at the request of Seychelle Technologies, Inc., he has
invented something which is needed by every human being in the
This Invention Is Almost Certain To
Generate Billions In Sales!
Do you ever have arthritis pain?
If so, this will be the most important message you
will ever read.
Here is why: There is a man in Texas named Steven C.
Ammerman. He is the president of SCA International and, while on a
Vietnam Veteran's ministry trip to Russia in 1992, he decided to start
an import-export company.
During his first year in business, a man approached
him by the name of Mr.
California. (That's his nickname. His real name is John Q. Everett.)
Mr. California had been using a pill he was getting from
Bulgaria. This is a pill Bulgarian body builders were using to double
and triple their stamina. Mr. Ammerman contacted the pharmaceutical
company which produces the pill and had five boxes sent to him. And
guess what? That's when Mr. Everett discovered the major "side
effect" of this
muscle-building pill is the almost 100% elimination of arthritis pain!
I'll bet you remember exactly where you were when you
first heard the news about the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the World
Trade Center and Pentagon. Nearly everyone does. And nearly everyone
(especially investors) remembers how this disaster shut down all the
major stock exchanges in the United States for nearly an entire week.
When the market reopened on Monday, September 17th, it
experienced the largest point drop in history. The Dow dropped 684.81
points for a percentage loss of 7.13% in just one trading day. The
Transportation Index did even worse. It dropped 404.81 points for a
one-day percentage loss of 15.12%. The NASDAQ fell 115.82 for a
one-day percentage loss of 6.83%.
All in all, it was one of the worst days in the
history of the stock market.
But Here Is Something Almost
Nobody Bothered To Notice...
On that very same day, on the NYSE, 1144 stocks
advanced in price and 63 of those stocks actually went up to new
On the NASDAQ, 1409 stocks advanced in price and 35 of
those stocks skyrocketed to new highs!
On the AMEX, 285 stocks increased in price with 12 of
them hitting new highs!
This means that... on one of the worst days in the
history of the major markets, a total of 2838 stocks actuallly
advanced in price... and... a total of 110 of those stocks went
up in value to a price higher than they had ever sold for before.
How About A 165.3% Gain
In Just That One Day?
That's what a company called InVision Technologies (INVN)
experienced. And what about a company called Viisage Technology (VISG)?
It went up that day 142.2%! Or ICTS International (ICTS) which
skyrocketed 113.3%! Or Avistar Communications (AVSR) which made a gain
Aside from those triple digit gainers there were many
stocks that made double digit percentage gains like American Science
and Engineering (ASE) up 97.6%... or... Vicon Industries (VII) up
83.7%... or Hi-Shear Technology (HSR) up 76%... or... Identix (IDNX)
up 71.4%... or... Olympic Cascade Financial (OLY) up 52.2%!
Enough. I think I've made my point... which is...
If You Know How To Pick The Right Stocks...
You Can Still Make Dozens Of Highly-Profitable Trades...
Even If... The Rest Of The Market Is Falling Apart!
But, how in the world can anyone (especially given
today's economic turmoil) pick winning stocks day after day? Is there
any way... for real... to beat
today's stock market? YES! And, get this...
OK, if the examples I have just given you have not jump
started your "fungolas-seeking mind" it is obvious you don't have a
drop of entrepreneurial/marketing blood in your body... and... I suggest you
start looking for some place "safe" to work such as a giant
corporation like Enron.
However, I think most all of my readers are smart enough to
get the point. And the point is... storytelling...
good storytelling... is a vital component of a marketing campaign.
Now let's talk about my upcoming "Patches of Light
Seminar." I told you in my last letter there was going to be something
very special about the seminar but, you would have to attend to find out what
that "special" thing was going to be. I've changed my mind (I can do
that because there's a highly developed feminine side to me) and I've decided
to tell you what that "special" thing is right now.
The most valuable seminars I have ever given were those where
myself and my other marketing friends (the most important, by far, being John
Carlton) would invite members of the audience to come up and share the stage
with us. We would ask the attendee to describe his or her business and their
particular marketing problems. Then, right there at the seminar, in
real time, John and I would so quickly and cleverly solve their marketing
problems... that Dan Kennedy described what John and I were doing as
"working-without-a-net." However, even though it took only a few
minutes for John and I to solve these marketing problems... what the
attendees (as well as some of the other speakers) failed to realize was... it
had taken John and I a couple decades of
blood, sweat and tears through trial and error to now know how to instantly
solve their problems.
Another thing about me and seminars is, usually, when I speak
at a seminar (either mine or someone else's) I am somewhat held back for
reasons of "political correctness" from telling some of the
attendees what they really need to hear. Not so with my "Patches of
You see, John Carlton will be with me at my seminar and the
exciting thing for both of us is...
We Are NOT Going To Make
The Smallest Attempt Whatsoever
To Be Politically Correct!
You know something? I think even my good friends like Joe
Polish, Dan Kennedy, Mark Victor Hansen, Bob Allen,
etc. are reluctant to have me speak at their seminars because they consider me
"too dangerous." And I must admit,
their concern is justifiable. The truth be told, left to my own devices, I
would (and so would John Carlton) tell the
attendees of any seminar... why... nearly all the other speakers and so-called
"marketing experts" are totally full of shit... and... how they are
trying to force feed the attendees advice which will put a serious dent in
their bank accounts.
Well, at my "Patches of Light" seminar, John and I
are going to let it all hang out. We're going to tell the audience what they really
need to know to succeed in any form of
marketing including the Internet, direct mail campaigns, magazine and
newspaper advertising, radio advertising, TV advertising, postcard
advertising, billboard advertising and even skywriting.
And, at my "Patches of Light" seminar, nobody
is going to be selling anything to the attendees. There is no secret agenda.
I've wanted to put on a seminar like this all my life and so
has John. I bet my "Patches of Light" seminar will be remembered
longer than any other seminar you've ever gone to... or... will ever go to...
in your entire lifetime... simply because...
You Are Going To Have Two Of The Most Brilliant Minds In
All Of Marketing Telling You The REAL Truth About What
You Need To Know... And... We Will NOT Be Making Any
To "Please" All The
Marketing Experts Who Like To "Play It Safe"!
Anyway, within the next ten days, my #1 Trusty Assistant
Theresa, will finalize all the details for this seminar. She will then be
notifying everyone who wants to attend of all these details such as... the
name, address, telephone number and contact person at the hotel, the hours of
the seminar, and so forth.
Remember, the dates for my "Patches of Light"
seminar are Friday, Saturday and Sunday, April 19, 20 and 21, 2002 in sunny
Orlando, Florida. Hope to see you there.
Gary C. Halbert
Everybody who owns a boat
in Miami or Fort Lauderdale, Florida has to move their boat out of
Dade County for the month of February. This is to accommodate the
Miami Boat Show, which I believe is the biggest boat show in the
world. This February, I chose to move my boat to the marina connected
to the Anchorage Resort located at the southern entrance of Jewfish
Creek. That's why this letter is not coming to you from north, south,
east or west of Jewfish Creek. It is coming to you from Jewfish Creek
itself, which is where I am... but... where I won't be by the time you
receive this letter.
For what it's worth, the rooms at the Anchorage Resort
give you more for your money than any hotel or motel I have ever
experienced in my entire life. I'd highly recommend you give them a
call (305/451-0500) the next time you plan to be near 2511.015N
Copyright © 2003 Gary C. Halbert. All Rights