North of Jewfish Creek
Dear Friend & Subscriber,
I have received an enormous amount of emails
from people who were overwhelmingly grateful because... in
GREAT detail... I took everybody "behind the scenes" and
revealed EXACTLY how the "magic" of the water ad was
Later in this newsletter I will express my
appreciation for your appreciation.
But right now, let's get to a few more
interesting things which I have not yet published about the
First, I deliberately left out an explanation of
an absolutely-magical and critical few words of that ad to
see if anyone would catch it. Nobody did. So I'm going to
tell you what those "magic" words were.
They appear near the end of the ad and they
fast... as their financing will allow them to expand!"
Those words were critically important because
they implanted in the reader's mind that here was an
opportunity to, indeed, make an awful lot of money.
A number of people wrote me about DuSean
Berkich (the evil CEO of Seychelle Technologies). I'll share
with you a few of these emails... but... in truth, this
first one pretty much sums it all up. It says:
"Hi Gary, I thought you'd like to know DuSean
Berkich was convicted of fraud (got 10 years)
and died in prison. (US Territory, Northern
Here is an excerpt from another email:
"DuSean Berkich was convicted on 1 count
conspiracy to commit wire fraud. Two counts wire
fraud, 1 count money laundering conspiracy and 3
counts money laundering. Berkich was acquitted
on 1 wire fraud count. Berkich faces a maximum
prison term of 95-years."
Here is yet another excerpt from another
"Assistant US Attorney, Patrick Smith, yesterday underscored
the damage caused by the near-collapse of the Bank of Saipan
after fraudulent transactions caused its financial
instability. This followed convictions of Bert Douglas
Montgomery, DuSean Berkich, and former Bank of Saipan
President Thomas Alvin."
And another excerpt:
"As the evidence at trial
proved, the 3 defendants conspired to fraudulently obtain
ownership of the Bank of Saipan and then made a series of
fraudulent loans to enrich themselves and their associates.
and Berkich also took 2.8 million from the United Forex
Exchange, a California investment firm that 'they knew to
be the proceeds of a fraud scheme of investors in that
firm'. They caused those funds to be wired to Saipan for the
purpose of furthering their scheme to defraud the bank."
Did DuSean Berkich actually die in prison? I
hope not. I wish someone would discover he is still alive so
I could have the pleasure of torturing his life again.
Many of you wanted to know how I was able to
destroy DuSean Berkich and his company in just 4-days. I'll
tell you a secret. Back in the days when I was "vacationing"
at "Club Fed" I developed a way to destroy almost any
individual or company on earth. I have never revealed this
to anyone... even to my own flesh and blood who have begged
me to tell them the secret. This secret is too powerful to
reveal. There is no defense against it. There is no way to
repair the damage once you use it on someone. It's also very
inexpensive and quick and easy to implement.
I have never used this secret on anyone...
even my worst enemies. Even on people who have defrauded me
out of hundreds of thousands of dollars.
This secret is so powerful... honestly... it
could be used to destroy giant corporations like Microsoft,
Exxon, E-bay, Amazon, General Motors, etc.
The reason I will never use or reveal this
secret is because I do not feel I am qualified to sit in
judgment of any individual or company and make a decision
which will be utterly devastating to those people or
But DuSean Berkich was so patently evil and
had hurt so many people and had such an arrogance of power,
for him I made an exception. (By the way, isn't it curious how the
authorities were able to discover and prosecute a fraud
perpetuated by such an evil genius, the likes of DuSean?
Hmn. Gee, I wonder how they got onto him?)
Well, since we'll never know... let's try to
update ourselves on our genius inventor, Carl Palmer.
Here's another email I received:
"Gary, I just finished reading 'THE
COMPLETE STORY OF THE WATER AD'. Brilliant stuff... but you
"I just wanted to give you an update on
Seychelle and Carl Palmer. You may already know this, but
heck... you may not.
"At last report, Seychelle was marketing the
bottle via another MLM, Nikken Industries. Apparently, Nikken
adds some type of phony, magnetic thingy to the filter
too... as their rep claims... produce some type of miracle
"Their whole story is amazing. You handed
these guys a billion dollar business and they managed to
piss it away... go figure."
That was rather boringly predictable, was it
On a different subject, here's the text of
another brief email which may interest some of you:
"Gary, You might be interested to see on
page 80 of last week's 'New Invention' issue of Time
magazine... a water filtration bottle very similar to the
one you described."
And Now... Here's News Of A Hot-New
Which Just Possibly Will Wake Up
The Lazy Minds Of
It's called "The
This is a $5 water purifier for the masses.
The little article about it in "Personal Health" says,
"The LifeStraw, from Danish company, Vestergaarde Frandsen, may
be the best hope yet for the 1.1 billion people worldwide
who lack access to safe drinking water. The 3.4 ounce
'straw' can filter up to 185 gallons of water, enough to
supply one person for a year. Just dip the plastic tube into
water and suck on it to draw liquid up through three
filters. Two textile layers remove dirt, iodine-based resin
kills 99.3% of bacteria and viruses, and activated carbon
catches whatever the iodine missed. Pending approval by the
Environmental Protection Agency, the LifeStraw could reach
US stores in time for the 2007 hurricane season."
To find out more go to
You want to know a little something about
another hot new life-saving invention? There is a
relatively-inexpensive device a surgeon can implant just
under the skin of a fat person's abdomen. This device then
sends every 6-seconds an electronic signal to the person's
abdomen. This pulsed/electric signal is safe and cannot be
felt by the person wearing the device. What this device does is, it
replaces the increasingly popular gastric bypass operation.
Can you imagine, here's an invention which promises all of
the benefits of gastric bypass surgery with none of the
dangers and at a fraction of the cost.
You think maybe something like this could be
marketed? I bet you'd like to know what it is, wouldn't you?
Sorry, but I think I'll save this one for myself... and
someone who has deep enough pockets (and sanity!) to finance my
worldwide marketing this device.
Let me switch gears here for a moment. I
know only a few truly world-class copywriters and there is
something unique about them you would never guess. That
None Of Them
When I was learning my trade, I bought every
book, course, and seminar about copywriting and marketing I
could get my hands on. I didn't care if I had to spend the
rent or utility money to learn more about my passion. When
John Carlton learned Gary Bencivenga was giving a $5,000
seminar, he was the first to sign up. He did so without even
reading the sales pitch. I also signed up for Bencivenga's
seminar without bothering to read the pitch.
Later, in a private conversation with Gary
Bencivenga when I was in New York to attend his seminar, he
told me that he had privately purchased everything about
marketing and copywriting I had ever offered for sale.
Years ago, when I was teaching on a regular
basis at the Jefferson Institute in Utah, Mark Stoddard
spotted me picking out several books on marketing on display
at the Institute, and then going to cashier to pay for them.
He told me since I was a featured speaker, I could get all
this material at a fraction of the cost and didn't have to
pay full price.
You know what? It'll probably seem curious
to many of my readers, but it never even crossed my mind to
ask if I could get this valuable material at a discount.
I charge different prices for my different
services. Sometimes it's as low as $7,500 for a 2-hour
telephone consultation. The most common price for my
copywriting services is $15,000 payable in advance plus 5%
of the gross sales I am able to achieve for my client.
Sometimes on a job which is going to take me a lot of time,
I charge $30,000 upfront.
I've noticed a BIG difference in the people
who hire me at $30,000. Basically, they only ask two
"Are you available to do my job?"
And if I say
'yes' the second question is,
"Who do I make the check out
to, and what address do I FedEx it to?"
During the course of my career, I've had a
lot of people call me and tell me they want to hire me and
money is no object.
But I have learned when someone says,
"Money is no object,"
that most of the time... money is the most important
consideration on their mind. I've had people tell me they
are making profits of as much as $750,000 a week... and then
tell me... they're thinking about hiring me but, they'd like
to brainstorm with me a little bit first.
You know what I tell those people? I tell them,
"Look, that sounds great to
me. I'll make you a deal. I want you to write a $500 check
payable to the Children's Hospital of Miami and send that
check to me. As soon as I receive the check, I'll hand it to
the Hospital and tell them to cash it the same day. After
that, I will consult with you for a couple hours on
the phone. Just think, the worst case scenario is, you and I
don't do business together. But some sick child who
desperately needs medical help will have a $500 assist in
getting that help. However, the best case scenario is you
and I end up doing business together and we each make a
small fortune. That sounds really fair to me, doesn't it
And you know what? Absolutely nobody has ever
taken me up on that offer. It is remarkably curious how many
people claim to be making hundreds of thousands of dollars a
week... but... can't seem to get $500 out of their
accounting department (it's always because of accounting
difficulties) to get a consultation with me and help a
Now please permit me to tell you an old
joke... but... it's a joke with a lot of truth in it.
Two real estate guys are working as
partners in Miami. One of them
comes back from an afternoon
meeting and has supper with his partner.
He tells his
partner, "Ron, I've got good news and bad news! You know
that building they wanted $230-Million for? Well guess what?
able to get them to lower the price to only
To which his partner, Russ, says,
what's the bad news?"
"They want $5,000 in
Really cheap people are curious to me. If
they work in real estate, they will ignore 99 extremely
profitable deals... just to find one deal that is insanely
profitable... maybe because the widow who owns the property has
only a couple weeks to live because she is dying of cancer.
Anyway, all that I have written above on the
subject of cheap people has been a set-up.
It's a set-up because I want to sell you
You know how valuable that education was
when I pulled back the shades and revealed to you the real
secrets of the water ad? Well, I've got something which
will show and teach you how to discover and exploit secrets
But I ain't giving it to you free.
You're gonna have to pay.
But I'll say this, if you decide to buy what
I'm about to offer... and... you have one drop of marketing
blood in your veins... it will be worth millions to you.
Let me tell you about January 16, 1994.
There are three things that happened on that
date which make it especially memorable.
First, it's the date Telly Savalas passed
away. You remember him, don't you? He's the bald-headed
actor who played "Kojak" the lollypop sucking detective on a
long-running TV show.
The other thing which was memorable about
January 16, 1994 was what happened later that "evening"
about 2 o'clock in the morning. (I guess that would make it
technically January 17.) Well, anyway, that's the date
California experienced a monstrous 6.6 earthquake.
I was sleeping with a girlfriend who lived
in Studio City at that time. One curious thing I remember
about her apartment building was it was owned by the TV star
of Miami Vice, Don Johnson. Anyway, there we are, sound
asleep when the entire building starts swaying and shaking
like King Kong or the Jolly Green Giant has grabbed ahold
of it and is moving it back and forth furiously. You know
what popped out of my mouth instantly and I swear to God
this is true. While everything in the room was shaking, I
said to my girlfriend...
"Honey, was it good for you too?!"
Well, maybe I shouldn't have said that. As
soon as I did a very heavy dresser smashed down on my head.
It was like God was bitch-slapping me for having the
arrogance to mock his divine power. I wrapped my body
protectively around my girlfriend and kept saying,
going to be okay. We're going to be okay."
All the while I was promising her that,
her apartment and the entire building was literally shaking
Eventually, the shaking stopped. At least
momentarily. We got out of bed and crawled to the living
room. Everything was smashed. Her computer was destroyed.
All her artwork from the walls was on the floor. The
furniture was now kindling. In her kitchen, the
refrigerator had fallen forward and the doors to the
refrigerator and freezer were ajar. All kinds of food and
various liquids like orange juice and milk had spilled out onto the
For some reason I stumbled into the kitchen
and then turned around and crawled back into the living
room. At that moment, my girlfriend raised her voice and
"Gary, Gary! Look what you're doing!"
"What am I doing?"
To which she replied,
stuff all over my living room rug!"
It took both us a moment to realize the
absurdity of her concern. But I think it's indicative of the
human condition. We can be faced with a calamity of enormous
proportion but focus our attention on some mundane everyday
detail. I think it's a part of our survival mechanism which
allows us to cope with monstrous events beyond our control.
Now I'm going to tell you something: My
readers know a lot about me. But in truth, I have only
revealed the tip of the iceberg of what I know about
What I'm about to say to you is going to be
shocking. But it's true. And I can prove it.
January 16, 1994 I, Sir Gary of Halbert,
And Internet Marketing!
I swear to God that's true.
Here's how it happened: I conducted a
brainstorming session at Universal City in California. It
was called "Gary Halbert's Electronic Marketing
Brainstorming Session". What I did is invite the top
computer experts in the United States to attend a free
brainstorming session with me and to see, with me guiding
the brainstorm, if it was possible to monetize and
financially exploit this new thing called the Internet. (By
the way, at that time, there were approximately 15-Million
people worldwide who had access to the Internet. However,
the people at my brainstorming session assured me in the
future there would be many more Internet users. You think
maybe they had that part right?)
At the time, almost everyone marketing on
the Internet was doing so on "bulletin boards". That's
probably something a lot of young Internet users have never
even heard about.
So many computer experts came to my
brainstorming session, we had to attempt to get a larger
room to accommodate everyone.
The names of many of the people who attended
that session reads like a "Who's Who" in the annals of
online marketing. It will be fun for me as you listen to the
recording of this brainstorming session to see how many of
the names of the attendees and experts you recognize.
It will be even more fun and interesting when
you are hit with the fact of how many of those people have
since become multi-millionaire online marketers.
I started the brainstorming session by
having people give me an overview of how people all over the
world were (then) using computers. Then, I got in to them to explain their strategies for profitable computer
marketing. I bet as you listen to these early strategies,
you will find a few of them which just might be immensely
profitable if they were implemented TODAY.
But that is not the reason you should
purchase or listen to these tapes. The reason you should own
these tapes is so you can listen to me live in action as I
extract the core secrets and desires of Internet users and
develop ways to use those secrets and desires to sell to
You know when I uncovered the secrets of the
water ad to you? Actually all I did was reveal those
secrets to you. What would be obscenely valuable to you is
to learn HOW I go about uncovering those marketing secrets.
And that is EXACTLY what you will learn when you listen to
There's a story about these tapes. After the
brainstorming session had been recorded, it was widely
thought the tapes had been destroyed during the earthquake.
But one set of those tapes was discovered to be completely
intact. Then, believe it or not, because that set of tapes
was given to me, they were lost again.
You know when I found this goldmine of
Just three days ago. I could hardly contain
I now have in my hands what is quite
possibly the most valuable marketing brainstorming session ever
captured on tape.
There are eight of these audio tapes. Each
one of them has a simple paper label. The tapes are cleverly
titled "Tape 1", "Tape 2", all the way to "Tape 8". They
come in a handy dandy 8-tape recording case with a crude
picture of me on the front conducting the brainstorming
I am NOT going to convert these tapes into
CD's. Don't bitch to me about how your car or house no longer has
something to play audio cassettes. Don't tell me you are now
so technologically advanced that you can only play CD's or
DVD's. I don't care.
If you want this information, you should
know it's ONLY available on audio cassettes. So maybe you're gonna have to cart
your pathetic ass down to Radio Shack (or some other
electronic store) and spend $14.95 to buy a piece of
"out-of-date" technology so you can play and
listen to these tapes.
I'm sorry. But to get things of real value,
occasionally we have to make enormous sacrifices such as
I'm going to charge $197 plus $5 shipping
and handling (that's $202 for those of you who are
mathematically impaired) for you to get these tapes. And I'm
going to do something else: I'm selling them on the basis
you will NEVER duplicate these tapes or give or sell them to
any other person.
Why am I doing this? Because eventually
somebody's going to get the idea of selling my tapes on
e-Bay. And I absolutely cannot wait until someone does that.
Because, for a long time, I've been chomping at the bit to
make an example of someone who sells other people's
intellectual property on e-Bay for a profit. And the person
I'm going to go after is the first person who sells these
tapes (whether on e-Bay or otherwise). Just watch what I do
to that person.
Want to know how bad it's going to be?
Just think DuSean Berkich.
Another thing I'm going to do is I am NOT
going to charge you for the purchase of these tapes until
30-days after I have shipped them to you. If you buy them by
check, I will hold your check for 30-days before I deposit
it. If you purchase the tapes by credit card, I will not
process your credit card information until 30-days after I
have shipped you the tapes. That will give you plenty of
time to listen to these tapes and discover for yourself that
I, Sir Gary of Halbert, am really (and I almost hate to say
this because it's sorta shameful)... but damn
it all it's true...
I Am The
Person Who Invented Spam!
Anyway, if you are unhappy with the tapes,
all you have to do is send them back to me with a signed
note saying you did not reproduce them in any way and we
will return your uncashed check or destroy your credit card
By the way, I cannot stop the processing of
your credit card payment if you decide to purchase my tapes
using PayPal. But you have my word, if you decide to
purchase the tapes by PayPal and then decide to return them,
I will issue you an immediate refund.
Listen, I want to end this newsletter. Let's
get to the bottom line: I'm offering you an invaluable
marketing lesson which was almost lost to the world. More
than any other product that exists, this one will teach you
how to think like ME when you think about marketing.
If you're at all serious about marketing,
you must order these tapes... and... you'll probably want to
listen to them several times a year.
If you're not serious about
marketing, you're welcome to keep reading my newsletters for
free for the educational and fun and entertainment value
I'm going to sign off now. But after I do,
my trusty assistant Theresa will tell you in the P.S. how to
order these tapes. If I were you, I'd do it right away...
because... it will be the most delightful, insightful and
educational Christmas or Hanukah present you could ever
Oh Wait! I almost forgot! If you order these
tapes, I'm going to send you an EXTRA FREE BONUS as a
Christmas or Hanukah present. It's a little book called...
Halbert's Guide To The Core Secrets And Desires
Of Different Groups Of People And How To Exploit
Those Secrets And
Desires To Make Yourself A Lot Of Money!"
This little book will reveal the core
secrets and desires of elderly people and how to sell to
This little book will reveal the core
secrets and desires of young people and how to sell to them.
This little book will reveal the core
secrets and desires of middle-aged people and how to sell to
This little book will reveal the core
secrets and desires of Black people and how to sell to them.
And Hispanic people.
And Jewish people.
And Oriental people.
And other groups like accountants, bankers,
electricians, top executives, lawyers, entrepreneurs,
nurses, small business owners, dentists, plumbers,
engineers, policemen, airline pilots, judges, firemen, and
All in all, I reveal to you the core secrets
and desires of 31 groups of people and tell you
EXACTLY how to exploit those secrets in your marketing
We can send you this little book by snail
mail... OR... if you prefer, we will give you a link which
actually makes it possible to download the book. In any
case, as soon as you have ordered the audio tapes, email me
a very brief message to
NoSexGary@aol.com. The message should just say something
"Gary - I have ordered the Electronic
Marketing Seminar Tapes. Send me the bonus book by
"Gary - I have ordered the Electronic
Marketing Seminar Tapes. Give me the link so I can
download the bonus book."
Either way we'll get the book to you as fast as humanly
You know what? To tell the truth, this
little book is probably worth 10-times more than I'm asking
you to pay for the Seminar Package.
Ah whatever. Do what you think is best.
Gary C. Halbert
"The Man Who Exploited What
Al Gore Invented"
P.S. Ordering instructions for "Electronic Marketing
The price is $197.00 plus $5.00
shipping and handling (same shipping and handling for United States
and International) for
a total of $202.00
If you want to order by check
or money order, simply
payable to "Cherrywood Publishing"
in the amount of
$197 plus $5 for shipping and handling (total $202.00)
You should send your check with a note saying it is for the
"Electronic Marketing Seminar Package"
and send it to:
Electronic Marketing Seminar Tapes
3101 SW 34th Ave #905-467
Ocala, FL 34474
If you want to pay by credit card, the best
way to do it is
Go to their website (www.PayPal.com)
and click the "Send Money" tab. PayPal will ask you the
e-mail address of the person you want to send money. The one
and only email address you must use to do that is
Gary@TheGaryHalbertLetter.com. And, of course, the
amount to send is $202.00. You can put "Electronic Marketing
Seminar Tapes" in the Subject Line. (By the way, as a safety
precaution, once you've placed your order through PayPal,
you might want to send an email to my other assistant
letting her know you've placed your order. Her email address
If you don't want to use PayPal but still
want to use your
the next best way is to
fax us your order. Our fax is a dedicated fax line and
it's on 24/7. The fax number is
(352) 861-1665. Here's the information we'll need
to process your order:
1) Your name as it appears on your credit
2) The type of credit card you are using
(Visa, MasterCard or American Express).
3) The credit card number.
4) The expiration date.
5) The "security code". If you're using a
Visa or MasterCard, the code is the 3-digits on the back of
your card at the end of your signature box. If you're using
American Express, the code is the 4-digits on the front of
your card above your credit card number.
6) We must have your BILLING address.
This is the address your credit card company sends you
your credit card bills.
7) Let us know if you have a different
address you want your "Electronic Marketing Seminar Package" shipped to.
8) It's not required but, it would be
helpful if you gave us a telephone or a fax number where we
could contact you in case we run into any problems with your