From:
North of Jewfish Creek
Tuesday, 6:23 a.m.

 

Dear Friend & Subscriber,

This issue is going to teach you something valuable.

Really valuable.

   It's something I, myself have had to remember and relearn over and over. So I guess it's fair to say I'm writing this issue for me as well as for my readers. It's a lesson none of us can afford to forget. In simple terms, you have to (in fact, you MUST!)...

Learn To Use Your

Emotions As Fuel!

   I've been going through what I consider a bad time lately. Financially, physically, emotionally... you name it... I've been distressing over it. Financially? I've taken about a $1,600,000 bath over the last year. That sorta sucks, doesn't it?

   Emotionally: My #1 Assistant, Theresa, had been taking care of her dying father 24/7 for seven full months. I'm pretty much 100% dysfunctional (except for writing and speaking). So, having the only functional part of my life unavailable to me, I tried to keep my life going with coat hangers, clothes pins, paper clips and duct tape. It didn't work too well.

   And physically, I let myself get out of shape because I was too busy feeling sorry for myself and sulking.

   But you know what I forgot? I forgot...

 "Action Is The Antidote To Despair"

   And, do you know the most useful thing you can do for yourself when you're feeling down? It's to do something... for somebody else! The truth is, the "challenges" in my life are more like being stuck in traffic... rather than the "real" challenges other people face. "Real" challenges like how to keep from dying of cancer, going blind, or trying to recover from a physical attack which has left you without an arm or a leg. Or worse.

   Seems like the start of a gloomy issue? No way, Josť! This one's gonna leave you smiling, jumping for joy, and happy as Bill Clinton in a room full of interns.

   See, I know something about my readers. Most of them are pretty much brain-dead. Perhaps a more charitable term would be "sluggish-minded". They want to have money... but... they don't want to work for it. They want happiness... but... they have no interest whatsoever in doing the things necessary to get it for them.

   You want proof my readers are mostly beyond all hope? Then think about this: These people are so senseless...

 They Look To ME For Answers!

   Lunatics. That's all I can say. You're all lunatics. Looking for answers from a man who can't work his own remote for his TV, or retrieve his own phone messages (I don't even try any more), or buy and keep groceries in his 'fridge. But...

 I've Got An Idea!

   What if I could figure a way YOU could make some serious fungolas... without... having to think? Without having to work? Without having to put up any money? Without having to take risks?

   Actually, there is some "work" involved. You will have to deposit a bunch of checks you get in the mail. I know it's a lot to ask... but... maybe you could get your spouse or one of your trusted friends to do it for you. That way, depositing those damn checks won't hardly even be a "bump-in-the-road". You just hand them off to whomever is going to make your deposit for you... and then... you get your ass in that Lazyboy, stuff some more Twinkies in that hole in your face, and keep sipping on those "cold ones" you keep in the cooler beside your chair while watching the latest "Survivor" show or using your TiVo to rerun the Superbowl halftime show. (You know, so you can try to "freeze" that micro-second flash of Janet Jackson's expressed breast so you can keep being properly enraged by this serious threat to our nation's security.) You know why I know you like my proposed scenario? Because my readers are just like ME!

   Hell, I don't want to think or work or invest money or take risks either. I'm just like you. Just gimme the money and get out of my face. And you know what else? I really have figured out...

Exactly How To Make

This Scenario Come True!

 

  You're gonna love this newsletter, Buckwheat. You ain't never done read nuthin' as slick as this!

   But first, a side trip: I make a big deal out of being the world's best copywriter. I think it must be true... because... it says so right in my newsletter. But, all joking aside, here's what I really do have over other copywriters: I don't concentrate on the writing much at all. Almost anybody can write real good (I know, Miss Books, that's not the proper way to say it) if they will dedicate just a few months to learn how to do it. But, that's not what you really need to know. What you really need to know...

Are The Secrets That

Make People Buy!

   A simple example: Send a printed personalized sales letter to 1,000 people and you will get more orders than if you send a printed sales letter that starts "Dear Friend" or "Dear Subscriber" or "Dear Occupant" or "Dear Resident" or "Dear Fellow Boat Lover" or what have you. It used to be, a personalized sales letter would outpull a "generic" letter by (on average) 300%.

   Now, you do understand what a personalized computer generated letter is, don't you? What it is, is (Bill Clinton lives)...

 A Fake Typed Letter!

   Remember all those times I told you I was in the family crest business? And how I would type one letter to the "Allard" family and then have a few thousand of those "personalized" letters printed and mail them to all the Allard families in the U.S.? Well, you know what that offset printed letter was? It was...

 A Fake Computer Letter!

   So, what I was doing was, sending out a fake computer letter... which is... a fake typed letter... which fetched 300% more orders than a "generic" printed sales letter... and... I was doing it at perhaps 1,400 times cheaper than could be done otherwise.

   Personalized letters today do NOT automatically increase sales by 300%. That's simply due to the fact there have been too many of them mailed. But, my friend John Carlton has tested personalized vs. non-personalized... and... personalized still increases response. It increases the response rate by an average of 30%.

   Do you realize an increase of sales by 30% probably produces a 200% increase in profitability? That's because the first big chunk of money generated by your sales goes to pay for your overhead, fulfillment, etc.

   Let's talk about another sales secret. As a general rule, if you tell your prospects you will not cash his check or process his credit card for 30-days, you will triple your orders... but... double your refund rate. Let's do a little math and see how that works out.

   Let's say you are selling a book for $100. And it costs you $1 to mail each letter. Also, it costs you $10 to fulfill every order. And in this example, let's say you are getting a 2% response with a 10% refund rate.

   To mail 1,000 letters would cost you $1,000. A 2% response rate would equal 20 orders. So you'll gross $2,000 (20 x $100). Take those 20 orders and multiply it by the $10 for fulfillment, and you have to fork over another $200. But don't forget those refunds. A 10% refund rate would be 2 refunds at $100 each which causes you to give back $200.

   That means you net $600. (Do the math yourself so you'll completely understand this.)

    But, what if you use the "I won't cash your check or process your credit card for 30-days" idea? Let's see how the math works on that scenario.

   Okay, we mail our 1,000 letters and it still costs us the same $1,000. But, as I said earlier, using this technique usually triples the response rate. That means we now get 60 orders (instead of 20). And that means, you'll gross $6,000 (60 x $100). Now take those 60 orders and multiply it by the $10 for fulfillment, and you have to shell out another $600. But don't forget those refunds. Remember, using this technique usually doubles the number of refunds. We now have a 20% refund rate from 60 orders (12 refunds). Multiply 12 refunds times $100 each and that means you have to give back $1,200.

   That means you net $3,200. (Again, do the math yourself so you'll completely understand this.)

   So, here's the question: Would you rather conduct your business in an "ordinary" way and have a profit of $600... or... use the "30-day-hold" technique and have a profit of $3,200?

   How many of these "sales secrets" do you think I know? The truth is, I know more of them than you would ever believe. Other copywriters pretty much rely on their communication skills alone. What I rely on is my communication skills...

To Communicate Things

I Know Will Increase Sales!
 
    Now, I'm going to tell you a story and show you a piece of writing which should lay to rest forever the slightest suspicion there's anyone else on this entire planet who can write copy as well as I can. And, after I do that, I'm going to show you...
 

How You Can Make A LOT Of Money

By Simply Receiving Checks In The Mail

And Depositing Them Into YOUR Bank Account!

   Remember I told you the best thing you can do for yourself when you're feeling down is to do something nice for someone else? Well, a short time ago I had a small seminar on how to increase website profits. There was a woman here in Miami who wanted to come but told me she didn't have enough money to pay the attendance fee. I responded, "No problem, you can pay for it in three installments." But soon after that she called me and this time had to inform me she had since been diagnosed with cancer (there sure is a lot of that going around these days, isn't there?) and she couldn't afford to pay the attendance fee... even if... she was allowed to pay for it in three installments. My heart reached out to her and I replied, "Well then, I guess you're going to have to come as my guest." And, she did.

   She has turned out to be one of the best friends I now have. She just had a hysterectomy with her uterus and ovaries removed... but... they tell her she still has Stage III cancer. That means, statistically, she has a 20% chance of surviving the next five years. But statistics are often bullshit.

   Brian Keith Voiles had a grapefruit-sized tumor on his brain about 14 years ago. All the doctors told him it was incurable and he should begin making preparations for his demise which was going to occur in the very near future. I remember thinking there was no doctor in the world who had the right to make such a statement to one of his patients. Only God determines when people are going to die. Often, when a doctor makes a statement like that, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

   I told my readers I was betting Brian was going to live a LOT longer than the few months the doctors predicted. And you know what? His grapefruit-sized tumor has since completely vanished... and... a short time ago he flew to Phoenix, Arizona. He flew to a seminar I was speaking at... just because... he wanted to shake my hand and thank me for the encouraging words I had written so many, many years ago.

 These Are The Kinds

Of Moments That Make
My Life Worthwhile!

   Anyway, back to Julie. She's one of the most delightful, upbeat, intelligent people I've ever met, and has a ribald sense of humor. Julie knows more about the chemistry of cosmetics and how to use that chemistry to enhance the lives of millions of people than anyone else that walks the face of the earth.

   And this is where it gets really interesting. You see, Julie has one product she has never put on the market (for reasons you will soon learn). This is as exciting a product as I have ever come across. Because I believe in this product so much (and I wanted to help Julie), I offered to write a website for her, which I have completed. I haven't charged her a cent for this work... and... I don't intend to. I think it's going to make her a TON of money and, believe it or not, I think it could make some money for you.

   Plus, I also think after you read this website, you will realize... without any question whatsoever... that when it comes to writing website copy (or any other kind of copy) I am truly the "800 pound guerrilla" who can walk through the valley with no fear of competition whatsoever.

   Even though the website copy is finished, we are still batting back and forth ideas for the name of the website. So, just in case it isn't an active website by the time you read this newsletter, I'm going to have Theresa type the website copy right here in this newsletter for your consideration.

  

Shouldn't this be against the law?

Miami Beach Lesbian Creates New Product that Makes All Women
Almost Instantly Crazy to Have Sex
with Males... or... Females!

Dear Friend,

      If you would like to make love with one (or more) women who are almost crazy to have sex with you, this will be the most exciting message you will ever read.

      Here is why.

      Julie Paris (no relation to that other young woman named Paris) is a lesbian who lives in Miami Beach, Florida. Actually, she is bi-sexual... but... she hardly ever "wastes her time" with men these days. That's because (according to her) most men just don't have a clue about how to satisfy a woman in bed.

      For years, Julie has studied chemistry and its biological effect on women. She is responsible for creating many of the top cosmetic products in the entire world. But now, she has created a product called "Fire Play" that makes almost all women...

Instantly Horny!

       Actually, Julie created this product more than 1-1/2 years ago.  But she's never put it on the market before now. She felt if she had sold it before now, the result would be millions of women almost crazy to have hot sex... but... these women would be with men who did not know how to satisfy them. Recently though, something happened which changed her mind.

       Julie read the manuscript of a new book written by a man who knows so many sex secrets that... according to her... it's almost like he is a lesbian trapped in a man's body. She thinks every man in the world should read this book and, here is how you can get a copy of it...

100% Free!

       But, here's a warning: Before you request your free copy of the book, you better know some of the secrets revealed in it. You see, Julie (and the author of the book) don't want to embarrass anyone... or... make them feel uncomfortable in any way. So, if your religious beliefs or your conservative upbringing or, if you have "personal reasons" against having great sex... you probably should NOT read this book.

      To help you decide if this book is for you or not, here are some of the secrets revealed in it:

  • The real reason why Prozac and Zoloft are so popular in this country! (Almost no one... not  even doctors... understands the startling sexual  implications.)

  • The single biggest sexual complaint women have about men!

  • The single biggest sexual complaint men have about women!

  • A dead "giveaway" which proves if a woman is faking her orgasms!

  • A brand new discovery (just approved by the FDA in February) which any man can use to instantly (and safely) boost his testosterone level! (Note: This will not only improve his sex life... but also... his overall health.)

  • A secret almost nobody (except a few, elite, very wealthy people) know about... which can lead to... a male having multiple orgasms)

  • A special place (and a special way) to touch a woman to guarantee mind-altering sex! (This technique is so simple... and... so little-known... even 75% of all women don't know about it.)

  • The two almost unknown secrets (one mental, one physical) men need to know to have rock-hard erections... at any age! (These are crucial secrets to improving a man's sex life forever.)

  • A scientifically-proven "aphrodisiac" which gently sends a woman's sexual desires into white-hot overdrive!

  • What lesbians know about oral sex which men don't... and... why more men today are losing their women to other women!

  • The single most important thing a woman can do to make herself more attractive to the opposite sex!

  • The single most important thing a man can do to make himself more attractive to the opposite sex!

  • Three sure-fire ways to tell if your spouse or "significant other" has had sex with someone else in the last 24-hours!

  • Three sure-fire ways to tell if your spouse or "significant other" has had sex with someone else in the last 24-hours!

  • How any man can make all of his erections last longer! (This is one of the most jealously guarded discoveries of sex researchers who had been given almost unlimited research funding by their wealthy, pleasure-seeking patrons.)

  • Almost foolproof contraception: It's over 99% effective but... so new... most people have never even heard about it!

  • A male "pleasure trigger" accidentally discovered by medical doctors which... curbs premature ejaculation... and... increases the frequency and quality of male orgasms!

  • The number one rule which absolutely... must be observed... for women to have a truly spectacular orgasm!

  • An amazing secret just recently discovered which every man should know about how to... instantly... put his woman "in the mood"! (This works faster than anything else a man could ever do... and... women desperately want their man to learn this secret.)

  • A sex act which is impossible for most men (unless they know this one simple trick) which women rave about... and... often say "is more enjoyable than orgasms!"

  • A little known foreplay secret (only recently revealed by a world famous female sex therapist) that gives a man a foolproof method which makes certain his woman will have an explosive orgasm... every time they make love!

  • A perfectly normal (and healthy) sex act between a man and woman... once forbidden... by American psychiatrists... but... which they now admit... will dramatically increase the amount of great sex in a relationship!

      Let's take a short "breather." We'll get back to more of what this remarkable book will teach you in just a moment. But first, let's talk about why these secret sex techniques are so important.

      Right now, there are approximately 16,222,181 people in the world with full blown AIDS. Another 56,122,303 are HIV Positive. On a worldwide basis, most of these people did not become HIV Positive because they were drug addicts sharing needles... or... because they received it in a blood transfusion... or... because they were having gay sex. Believe it or not, 81% of worldwide cases of HIV and AIDS are caused by the simple act of a straight man having sex with a straight woman. That's why, if you are in a monogamous relationship or if you are married, it is more important than ever not to go outside your relationship for sex.

      Can you guess the biggest reason people cheat on their partners or commit adultery? It's very simple...

 

It's Because They Are
Bored With The Sex Life
They Have At Home!

       But, after you finish reading this free book, there is no reason for you to ever be bored with your sex life again! Just to make sure you understand how true this statement is, following are a few more of the scorching secrets you will learn when you read this book:

  • An exclusive "pleasure map" with a "fingertip" guide to the 16 most sizzling "hot spots" on a woman's body... including... at least FOUR she probably hasn't discovered herself!

  • A secret "pleasure spot" on a man's body (it's like a male G-spot) which is so hidden away by nature... not one man in a thousand knows about it... and yet... it can produce awesome, shuddering waves of pleasure!

  • The thrilling "18-Hour-Plan" (developed by sex experts) which... no matter how fatigued you've been... or... how long you both have been in a rut... will reignite the passion between the two of you!

  • The six "tricks" which are a man's surest path to quickly increase his woman's "clitoral arousal" which is... the most certain way for a man to bring his partner's "foreplay clock" into sync with his!

  • The details about how sex researchers destroyed a dangerous sexual myth... and... why a woman does NOT need longer foreplay... if... the man who is her lover knows what he is doing!

  • What both men AND women need to know about PMS... and... how this knowledge will solve almost all problems caused by PMS!

  • Why "pick-up lines" almost never work... and... the ONE "almost magic" way to approach a woman which works nearly every time!

  • Why most couples miss out on the searing, hottest peak of their "love clock" during the day... and... why they never even realize it!

  • How to use the amazing "Bio Cure" created by noted sex researchers... which... is especially critical for busy parents!

  • Four incredibly easy ways a man can make sure he NEVER again has to worry about the erection problems 52% of all men (even those under 30 years old) report as their number one source of embarrassment!

  • Flirting secrets used by all women that 95% of men don't even recognize... and... how a man's life instantly gets ten times more exciting... when he does learn to recognize and understand these little-known secrets!

  • Casanova's Secret: He was the most famous lover in history and scientists have now discovered he actually did have a secret aphrodisiac (that can be made from natural foods)... which... has been proven to stimulate the "sex chemicals" in a woman's brain!

  • The one best way to win the true undying love of a member of the opposite sex!

  • What (and how) a man can learn about his woman's masturbation secrets... which will... supercharge HIS sex life!

  • A 15-minute change in the way you shower and dress which may very likely double your animal attractiveness to the opposite sex!

  • Ten things a man must know about a woman which guarantees he and she will have GREAT (not just good) sex!

  • A simple 3-second "trick" which 100% eliminates "performance anxiety" in men! (Note: This "trick" has been used for centuries by the most daring and successful men in the world.)

  • How to get into a deep, soul-pleasing rapport with your lover... and... stay there forever! (You will never feel alone again.)

  • Four little "target words" which can help you win your lover's heart forever!

  • How to guarantee your lover almost never stops thinking about you... and... how to make sure all those thoughts are supercharged with passion and white-hot, smoldering anticipation!

  • What 44% of women wish men knew about the easiest way to bring her to an intoxicating climax... every time!

 

      Are you starting to get the idea there are some things about great sex you have been missing? If so, don't feel alone. More than 99.9% of the world's population is completely ignorant of these "killer sex" secrets. But, you know what? We are not finished yet... not by a long shot. Here are yet more of the secrets revealed in this amazing book:

  • The 10 most common "clumsy mistakes" 90% of all men make during lovemaking... and... how to quickly learn the "inside secrets" of the most satisfied 10%!

  • A very important (but almost unknown) "trick" which will end "nagging" on both sides of a relationship... forever!

  • Why your fingernails might literally be ruining your love life!

  • What women really want from a man! (Nine out of ten men are absolutely floored by this secret... because... they didn't have the slightest clue.)

  • Why men almost always fail to understand a woman's "physiological signals" even after years of marriage! (Just learning this one secret will take your love life into another dimension.)

  • The only list anyone can trust about what really makes a man attractive to women! (Why can this list be trusted? Simply because... it was compiled by thousands of women.)

  • How often (on average) do men think about sex every day? How often do women think about sex every day? (Hint: The answers will astonish you.)

  • A "Last Stop" medical option for men with medical problems which prevent them from achieving an erection! (Doctors can now bring back full sex lives in 90% of cases.)

  • The single biggest turn-on of every woman... and... how a man who knows how to give it to her can use this simple "sure-fire" secret to enjoy devotion and love so deep and profound... most men can't even imagine it!

  • How to (at any age) make sex last all night long... and... experience the most intense, prolonged orgasms you've ever imagined!

  • The incredible "success patterns" which actually give physically unattractive men a HUGE romantic advantage over good-looking hunks!

  • A very rare fact: Men have three different kinds of orgasms... and why... most men are cheated from having the very best, most electrifying and satisfying one!

  • How to know what kind of win-or-lose "sexual chemistry codes" you are sending every time you kiss your lover!

  • The single most important thing a man can do to win a woman's love... forever!

  • Why women hate most porno tapes... but... you will learn the ultra-secret "wish list" of sex tapes women are literally devouring in private! (These secret videos seem to supercharge women with an intense, erotically-positive sexual energy.)

  • The two amazingly simple secrets (totally unknown by most men) which will cause "peak sexual excitation"... and... give men dramatically, longer-lasting orgasms!

  • Five secrets you need to know... if... you want to be able to kiss like a truly world-class lover! (This is the type of erotic foreplay more and more women are demanding men learn.)

  • The most important (and most little-known) quality a man MUST have if he wants to approach a truly desirable woman... and... have any chance of success! (Women will overlook everything else except this.)

  • What would you guess is the single most common... and... most devastating sexual problem among U.S. couples today? (You'll not only find out what it is when you read this book... you'll also learn... why experts have discovered it's the easiest problem to treat.)

  • How to achieve true, heart pounding intimacy which almost guarantees your relationship will last forever!

  • How a man can help his woman find her "G-spot" which is a hyper-sensitive (anatomically hidden) little pleasure point... most women never discover by themselves! (And will she ever love you for this.)

  • The amazing "Towel-Hanging" trick which triples the strength of a man's erections... and... allows him to experience "rocket-burst" orgasms which will give him (and her) pleasure almost beyond belief!

  • How to tell if a woman is really "turned on"... or... if she is just faking it! (Most men don't have a clue about what "signals" a woman can't stop sending out... which... always reveal the honest truth.)

       Why is Julie Paris willing to send you a copy of this book... and why... is she willing to send it to you 100% FREE?

      The answer is easy: It's a bribe! It's an "ethical" bribe to get you to give her a trial order of her new product called "Fire Play"!

      What is "Fire Play"? It's a bioactively-engineered product that her friends sometimes call "the woman's Viagra"... or... sometimes they describe it as the "instant-turn-on" product.  Women who know about and use this product (there are very few of them) NEVER use this product unless they know...

They Are About To Have Sex!

       After all, what's the point of being almost unbelievably sexually aroused... if... you don't have a sex partner to enjoy that situation with you... and... leave you completely satisfied?

      Julie Paris is an expert on the "chemical biology" of women. Before this message, she trusted only three men  to use with their women lovers. These are the only three men she trusted 100%... and... here is what they said about the product:

 

"I love to see my girlfriend in ecstasy! I love to see her out of control and going beyond her normal sexual limits. She and I both have decided we are going to keep using 'Fire Play' for as long as we are alive. And believe me, this product makes both of us really come alive!"

~ 1st man allowed to have FirePlay

 

"I love the way it's now her who's the one always hounding me for sex! Not only is our sex life 100  times better, the way she acts when we use this product makes me feel like I am 7' tall."

~ 2nd man allowed to have FirePlay

 

"Ohhh My God! This stuff works like crazy! You wouldn't know my woman and I have been together for all these years. We are now like sex-starved teenagers all over again!"

~ 3rd man allowed to have FirePlay

      Anyway, here's the deal: Julie has decided to make "Fire Play" available to every man (or woman) who has read the book (written by Bert Halgary) described earlier in this letter. She'll send you a 60-day supply of "Fire Play"... and... in the same package, she'll include a FREE copy of the book. After trying "Fire Play" for a 60-day trial period, if you are dissatisfied with it, for any reason (or no reason whatsoever) you can return any unused portion for a complete and immediate refund.

      And not only that... you can keep the FREE copy of the book included in the package.

      By the way, as one of the three men Julie trusted to use this product, I have a piece of advice for any other man who buys "Fire Play": Make sure YOU are the one who controls access to this product. Don't even think about going off to work or on a trip and letting your woman keep this stuff in her bathroom cabinet.

      I'm sure your girlfriend or wife is 100% faithful to you... but... I'm also sure you want to KEEP it that way.

      Hey, give it a try. It comes with an iron-clad 100% money-back guarantee... and... you get to keep the FREE book even if you decide to return the product after using it for the 60-day trial period.

Click Here To Get Some

 

 

  Okay Buckwheat, how'd ya like that one? Think there's anybody else you know who could write a website like that? I don't either! Do you think there's anybody who has an ounce of life left in them who's not going to be interested in that website and that product? I don't either!

  So the question now is... 

How The Hell Can This
Website Make YOU Some Money?

   It's very simple: You must have at least a couple of friends, don't you? And a few associates? All you have to do is encourage those people to go to Julie's website and, if they order her product, she will send YOU $20 for every customer you refer. By the way, this amazing product sells for only $69.95 plus $3 shipping and handling.

   Now consider this: If you have a LOT of friends or maybe even a mailing list of prospects or customers (for whatever it is you are selling), you could communicate with ALL these people and receive lots of $20's from Julie.

   How will Julie know if these orders are from your friends or associates? It's easy. Contact Julie and she'll give you a 9-digit "code". Those 9-digits will belong to you and you alone. Then, all you have to do is give your friends, associates or mailing list, Julie's website address followed by YOUR code. It'll be something like this:

 www.ShesOnFire.com/123456789

   Picture this: There you are munching on your Twinkies, sipping beer, kicking back in your Lazyboy and watching the 112th version of some "Survivor" show. Your buddy calls you up and you guys get to talking about things like bowling, bass fishing, strippers, where to get bib overalls at a discount, and other stuff like that. Then you say to your buddy, "Hey Joe, I got a website you should check out. Get a pencil and jot this down somewhere you won't lose it. The website address is www.ShesOnFire.com forward slash [and now give him YOUR secret code]. Joe, I promise you, I'll be your best friend for the rest of your life after you visit this website."

   Your friend goes to the website, becomes crazed to get the free book and the product, gives Julie an order, and she sends you 20 buckaroos. And just think, you haven't even had to break a sweat or get up off your lazy ass... and... that $20 referral fee will buy you a couple more six packs. (I think what you've just read is Gary Halbert's idea of "affiliate marketing".)

   Not that it matters (actually, it DOES matter) but, Julie's product honest-to-God, for real really does work. And the free book mentioned in the website honest-to-God, for real does deliver 100% on every secret. There is no hype here. It's all true.

   Anyway, if you are interested in this, contact Julie at www.ShesOnFire.com/friends/default.asp and tell her to whom and where you want your checks sent. As soon as you do that, she will instantly e-mail you back and give you your own secret code number.

   By the way, I want you to know about the first really and truly "officially-trained" Gary Halbert copywriter. His name is David Allard and you can find out all about him at www.DaveAllard.com. I want you to know though, I just can't understand why he said such hurtful things about me on his website.

   Oh hell. That's enough for this month, isn't it?

  Sincerely,
 
   Gary C. Halbert

 a/k/ Bert Halgary

P.S. I once said I knew more about how to increase website profits than any man alive. Then I met John Reese and had to concede he knows a hell of a lot more about increasing website profits than I could ever hope to learn.

      John is having a seminar that... if you can afford it... is a seminar you literally MUST attend. He's the guy who... when he starts talking about increasing your website profits... everybody shuts up and listens. He has had more than 28,750 dot.com URL's. He's generated more than 1-1/2 billion hits to his various websites. He's conducted more than 65,000 scientific split tests. And, he's just "come out of the closet" (so to speak) and decided to reveal his website profit making secrets to the world.

      John's seminar has my STRONGEST recommendation. Just in case you're wondering, I don't receive a penny for urging my readers attend his seminar. I am suggesting it simply because... if you are interested in making website profits, I honestly believe you will learn more at his seminar than all the other website profit seminars combined.

       But, his seminar is nearly sold out. He told me he has only a handful of seats left. He and I have become great friends and I am providing you with the website address which will take you directly to a description of what you will learn if you are lucky enough to attend this seminar. The only reason this website address has my last name in it is so he will know you are one of "my people"... and thus... you will be bumped to the front of the line of people competing to occupy one of these few available spots left.

      This is the website address for you to copy and paste into your web browser. It is not a link:

  www.MarketingSecrets.com/HalbertOnly.html

P.S. #2 By the way, now that Theresa is back and I'm starting to get cranked up on all 8 cylinders again, you can expect to start hearing from me more often. For one thing, I've written nearly 200 newsletters... but... only about a third of these are currently on my website. My plan is to start putting my back issues on the site at the rate of approximately one per week. Make sure you've got a good ophthalmologist... because... I'm going to make a sincere effort to burn your eyeballs out.

          Peace.

 

Copyright © 2003 Gary C. Halbert.  All Rights Reserved.