From:
North of Jewfish Creek

Dear Friend & Subscriber,

      I need your help. I need a favor from you.

       And to get it, I'm going to offer you a bribe. An "ethical bribe" that will repay you (financially) 1,000 times over for the small thing I am going to ask you to do.

       I hope you know me well enough by now to know I do not exaggerate when I make such statements.

       I'll describe this "bribe" for you very shortly. But first, I'm going to tell you a charming little story.

       As you may have guessed, my best friend here in Miami is Julie Brumlik (aka Julie "Paris"). Well, as I mentioned last week, Julie has Stage III cancer and is getting radiation treatments. What I didn't tell you is how much they are charging her for these treatments. They're a hefty...

 $7,000.00 Per Week!

       Plus, they are abusive beyond belief about getting paid. And, you almost have to hold a gun to their heads to get them to explain the charges. It's no wonder. Recently, Julie was in a meeting with the hospital's hostile accounting people. She was asking them to explain their itemized bill. She was especially curious about one item they were billing her over and over... at... a cost of $187. She finally got an answer out of them. It turns out, that's...

How Much They Charge Her

Every Time They Just

Checked Her Weight!

       I swear to God. They tell her to step up on the scale, make a notation of how much she weighs... and then... BOOM! another $187 will appear on her next billing. Can you imagine being charged "only" $187 for such an extremely complex procedure?

      The rest of the bill is just as odious. Plus, they say things to her like, "We want to get paid as soon as possible because you might die and leave us with an unpaid bill." Or they've been known to say, "Nobody else questions our bills. Who do you think you are?"

       There's a lot more to it than that. Ironically, it was Julie's grandfather and a few other of her relatives who founded and funded the hospital with the proviso "Nobody will be refused treatment because of lack of money."

       My, my. The medical profession sure has changed here in the U.S., hasn't it?

       Anyway, Julie is one of my favorite people and I wanted to help her with this problem. So, I summoned up my "evil twin" and, with his help, I wrote one of my semi-famous "social engineering" letters and had Julie send them to all of the concerned villains by registered mail... and... so far... they haven't said another word to her about their ridiculous medical bill. Here's the letter I wrote for Julie:

 

 

Dear Julie,

    After being informed of your experiences with Mount Sinai Hospital, it is my opinion you have an almost can't-lose-lawsuit against them. The conduct, behavior and comments of the people who work in the accounting department, especially Patricia Murphy, are without question legally actionable. To tell a cancer patient she is lying to them about her financial situation and belongs at a hospital for the indigent, and threaten to withhold treatment unless immediate compensation is made, can be considered according to the 17 cases I have researched virtual extortion. I will be selecting an attorney for you within the next week. Right now, I'm leaning toward the office of Holland & Knight or Susan Noe. Also I believe the verbal and mental abuse you have received at the hands of Mt. Sinai's accounting department is pandemic in our society and would make an excellent network documentary. As you know, I have connections throughout the show business world and I think your story will be an easy one to sell. Just imagine, here you are, the granddaughter of one of the principle founders of Mount Sinai and you are being charged in excess of $360 a week just to have yourself weighed and treated like a subversive just for asking an explanation of your charges. By the way, I'm going to need for whatever attorney I use a complete itemization of your bill with an exact description of the reason for each charge. There are undoubtedly other dramatic overcharges that will make what we call  "pivotal drama points" in a TV docudrama. I know you believe Dr. Toonkel who plans and performs many of your actual radiation procedures is an excellent doctor and a nice person, trying to do the best he can for his patients. But the fact is he has chosen to align himself and work with an unconscionable group of people. When you asked Patricia Murphy why she was so adamant about having the radiation bill prepaid and she replied "because most stage three cancer patients die (and I want to collect from you before that happens)" she pretty much sealed the financial fate of her and Mount Sinai Hospital's Salick Comprehensive Cancer Center.

    I cannot wait for whomever attorney we wish to use to depose this person. A real bonus in this situation is that she made most of her comments in the presence of other people who will also be deposed. This is going to make it pretty much impossible for her to deny her statements, which, by the way, can be truthfully construed as deliberate communications that will dramatically increase the stress level of every patient to whom she speaks in this manner, which in turn diminishes their immune system, which in turn leads her comment about "you may not live long enough to pay" to become a self-fulfilling prophesy. Rest assured, these people have just bought themselves a lawsuit, more publicity than they would have ever dreamed possible, and ... a monster dent in the finances of the Comprehensive Cancer Center. Julie please donít feel guilty about all this. When Harvey Greenspan, Jack Cantor, Baron de Hirsch Meyer, Cal Covin, and Lila Heatter nurtured this hospital they did so for humanitarian reasons and in fact I happen to know the hospital didn't even charge indigent patients for years. To think now that the accounting department is headed up by such a person as Patricia Murphy would cause all of them to turn over in their graves. I am pushing forward in this matter as fast as humanly possible. Should you have any future conversations with Mrs. Murphy or any of her minions, tell them in a very short time you will give them a card with the contact details of your personal attorney with whom they can discuss these matters.

                                                                   Your friend,

                                                                  Dr. Finegold

cc:
Steven D. Sonenreich
Hava Rwylyn
Dan Rwylyn
David Schmitt
Phil Frost
Gregory Wolfe
Paul Gluck
Marge and Irv Korac
Rosalie and Ted Pincus
Nancy and Joe Kanter
John Dorschner, Miami Herald
"Help Me, Howard" Finkelstein
Marilyn Mitzel
Diane Sawyer
Don Hewitt
Rick Bragg
Lexie and Claudia Potamkin
Donna Shalala
Starr Porter
Olga Edridge, BBC
Jim DeFede
Lettie Bien

       Perhaps you can now understand why the ability to write a good piece of copy has more ramifications than just generating sales. I hope you learn to write letters like this to help solve the problems in your life.

       Anyway, I've helped get the accounting "hounds-of-hell" off her back. (At least temporarily.) Now, what I want to do is improve her financial situation overall. I want to do this by helping her sell her new product called "Fire Play."

       Anyone who orders this product also gets a FREE copy of a brand new book written by me. Here's the cover the book:

 

Killer Orgasms!

How

To

Have

The

Best

Sex

Humanly

Possible!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Written and Published by:

Gary C. Halbert

3101 S.W. 34th Ave. #905-467 t Ocala, FL  34474

Phone:  (305) 534-7577

E-mail: GaryCHalbert@aol.com

 

 ©  Gary C. Halbert 

 

      Here's the deal: After ordering "Fire Play" and using it for a 60-day trial period, you can return it (but believe me, you won't want to) for a complete and immediate refund... and... you still get to keep the free copy of my book.

       OK, so I wrote a "killer" website about her product that started off like this:

 Miami Beach Lesbian Creates New

Product That Makes All Women

Almost Instantly Crazy To Have Sex

With Males... Or... Females!

       The website went on to explain how you got a copy of my free book if you ordered Julie's product... and... how the product comes with a 100% iron-clad money-back guarantee... and... how you got to keep my book... even if... you returned Julie's product for a refund.

       So far, so good.

       Then, I explained how YOU could make money with this website. Do you remember what I said? For those of you who suffer from CRS (Can't Remember Shit), here's what I wrote:

 

How The Hell Can This

Website Make YOU Some Money?

  It's very simple: You must have at least a couple of friends, don't you? And a few associates? All you have to do is encourage those people to go to Julie's website and, if they order her product, she will send YOU $20 for every customer you refer. By the way, this amazing product sells for only $69.95 plus $3 shipping and handling.

    Now consider this: If you have a LOT of friends or maybe even a mailing list of prospects or customers (for whatever it is you are selling), you could communicate with ALL these people and receive lots of $20's from Julie.

    How will Julie know if these orders are from your friends or associates? It's easy. Contact Julie and she'll give you a 9-digit "code". Those 9-digits will belong to you and you alone. Then, all you have to do is give your friends, associates or mailing list, Julie's website address followed by YOUR 9-digit code. It'll be something like this:

 www.ShesOnFire.com/123456789

    Picture this: There you are munching on your Twinkies, sipping beer, kicking back in your Lazyboy and watching the 112th version of some "Survivor" show. Your buddy calls you up and you guys get to talking about things like bowling, bass fishing, strippers, where to get bib overalls at a discount, and other stuff like that. Then you say to your buddy, "Hey Joe, I got a website you should check out. Get a pencil and jot this down somewhere you won't lose it. The website address is www.ShesOnFire.com forward slash [and now give him YOUR secret 9-digit code]. Joe, I promise you, I'll be your best friend for the rest of your life after you visit this website."

Your friend goes to the website, becomes crazed to get the free book and the product, gives Julie an order, and she sends you 20 buckaroos. And just think, you haven't even had to break a sweat or get up off your lazy ass... and... that $20 referral fee will buy you a couple more six packs. (I think what you've just read is Gary Halbert's idea of "affiliate marketing".)

    Not that it matters (actually, it DOES matter) but, Julie's product honest-to-God, for real really does work. And the free book mentioned in the website honest-to-God, for real does deliver 100% on every secret. There is no hype here. It's all true.

Anyway, if you are interested in this, e-mail Julie at Julie@ShesOnFire.com and tell her to whom and where you want your checks sent. As soon as you do that, she will instantly e-mail you back and give you your own 9-digit secret code number.

        Well folks, I know it's hard to believe... but... I screwed up. In fact, I screwed up twice. When I wrote that website, I was still doing last minute "tweaking" of the book and, I had a printer who promised to have it back to me in two days. What was I thinking? I forgot...

 This Is Miami!

       People here don't ever do ANYTHING work-related on time. But, after using my "gun-to-the-head" tactics, I now have the book (stacks of them) right here in my hand. Perhaps more importantly, I have it on a computer right here in Miami (the computer belongs to someone much more reliable than me)... all ready...

To Be Downloaded

Immediately If You

So Choose!

       So, going back to the beginning of this letter, what's the favor I want from you? I want you to order "Fire Play" right away... but... I do NOT want you to order it from the website. Instead, I need you to... 

Order It By Phone!

       Who will be answering those phones? Two friends of mine named Casey and Jenelle... and... ME!

       Why will I be answering the phones? I'm not going to tell you. At least not until next month. And I promise, you will be ASTONISHED at why I have decided to do this.

       But wait! What about that "bribe" I mentioned earlier? What is it?

       Actually, it's only five sheets of paper... but... those five sheets of paper will explain how anyone (even John Reese) can INSTANTLY double the profits of almost any website!

       If you want this deal, you better shake your tail feathers... because... it's only good for the next 11-days. Don't be a dummy.

Pick Up That

Phone... Right Now!

    

  Sincerely,
 
   Gary C. Halbert

  P.S.  The phone number to call is...

 1-305-372-5040

We'll be answering the phone lines for the next 11-days from 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, Monday through Saturday. Even God himself took a day of rest (Sunday). We have three phones on roll over lines and if you get a busy signal (when we're talking on all three phone lines at once) you'll get a voice mail and have the pleasure of listening to a short message delivered in my very own sweet voice.

P.S.#2  Remember how I said I screwed up twice? Well, the second screw-up was the nutso way I had planned to set up Gary Halbert's version of an "affiliate" program.

Yes, we're still going to have an affiliate program (just not the crazy way I had tried to set it up)... and... it will be explained to anyone who CALLS to order "Fire Play" within the next 11-days.

By the way, it's probably too late for you to sign up for John Reese's seminar... but... if I were you, I'd try to get in anyway. You never know. Sometimes there are cancellations at the last minute. (See details in the last issue of my newsletter posted on this website. It has the envelope icon titled "The Easiest Way In The World To Make Money!")

 

Peace.

Copyright © Gary C. Halbert.  All Rights Reserved.