W-A-Y West of Jewfish Creek
Dear Friend & Subscriber,
By the time you receive this letter, I, Sir
Gary of Halbert, the Ravin' Maven of Marketing, shall have
fled the drizzly state of California and skied out to sunny
As you know, the purpose of this letter is not to teach you how to invest your money. No. The purpose of this
letter is to help you make
more money. However, having acknowledged that, let me now say
this: I have stumbled onto a situation in Florida that maybe,
just maybe, is worth mentioning in this letter.
Even though it concerns an investment idea
rather than a money-making one.
Anyhow, what happened is that, last month,
when I'm in Fort Lauderdale teaching at one of those
high-priced ($5,000 for 2-1/2 days) marketing boot camps,
Paulette and I decide to go shopping. What we are shopping for
is a little house on a canal near the Port Everglades entrance
to the ocean and/also, maybe a charter boat operation we could
invest in for pleasure and profit.
Well, we didn't end up buying either one. We
did discover, however, that Florida real estate is breath-takingly
cheap when compared to California properties. And, we also
discovered that getting into the charter boat business is more
of a hassle than we, personally, are willing to endure.
So, what did we buy? I can still hardly
believe it. You see, we went and spent a big wad of our
hard-earned money and...
We Bought A Boat Slip!
Listen: There are thousands of wealthy boat
owners in Florida and more coming in every day. Likewise,
there are thousands of boat slips in which those owners can
dock their boats. But... there are not thousands of great boat
And, what makes a great
boat slip, you ask? OK, for one thing, it would have to be
located in a big, modern, first-class marina that has every
facility you could imagine. For another, it would need to be
in a marina that is near the ocean.
Think about it. If you wanted to go fishing or
diving, you wouldn't want to have to chug along in a canal for
two or three hours -- just to
get to the ocean -- now, would you?
In any case, what's happening now is, a few of
the scarce, really first-class luxury marinas are starting to
"condo-ize" their docks and boat slips. In other
words, in some cases, what you can do now is buy
a boat slip instead of renting it.
This has several advantages. First, you never
have to worry about having a place to dock your boat.
Secondly, it can be an income-producing investment because, when you are not using the slip,
the marina will rent it to other boat owners and manage
everything for you and you get to keep 70%+ of the money.
So, how much does it cost to buy a
"condo-ized boat slip" and what should you care?
Good questions. Look, as far as I'm concerned,
Bahia Mar in Fort Lauderdale is the best marina in South
Florida and that's where I'll be (in slip b-216) for nearly
all of January and much of 1989. Bahia Mar has about 350 boat
slips and, the ones that are being condo-ized range in price
from $125,000 to $340,000 and they are being snapped up...
Faster Than 1-Per Day
When you "buy" a slip (actually
you're technically buying the leasehold rights) at Bahia Mar,
you get a lot for your money. You get the use of all the
facilities of the luxurious Bahia Mar Hotel, you get
telephone, fax, computer and cable TV hook-ups. You get
"room service" directly to your boat and so on.
Now, why should you care about all this? Hmn?
Maybe I can make it clear by whomping a little tale on you?
Once upon a time, (just three years ago), a guy decides to buy
into one of these condo boat slip deals in a marina in Key
Largo called the Ocean Reef Club. (By the way, I was there
with Ed Mayer, the "Dean of Direct Mail," once, and,
as we were relaxing on the deck of a luxury yacht, he said,
"I wonder what all the poor people are doing
Forgive me, I digress. So, back to the guy who
buys that boat slip -- what he does is, he pays $250,000 for
Can you imagine that? $250,000 for a place to
park a boat? Well, here's the good part: That guy recently
sold his slip and...
He Got $595,000 For It!
Not too shabby, eh? Let's see, turning
$250,000 into $595,000 means that, in just 36 months, he
A 238% Return On His Investment!
You know, somehow it seems to me that that's a
better deal than most folks are getting from the stock market.
And, if you want to check it out, I suggest you call a
delightful young lady named Maura A. Brassil and her number
And, there's another thing I want you to do
and do it right now! And,
what's that, you ask? I want you to...
I know. I know. You didn't sign up for a
letter to learn how to buy a boat slip, did you? No. No. No-ooo.
You subscribed so I could teach you how to make
money not invest it, right?
OK, OK. As a reward for your patience,
howsabout I open the door for you on the biggest money-making
opportunity I've ever come across? Would that make things
Geez, The Things I Gotta Do!
Hark unto me. Listen: During the last couple
of years, I've done an enormous amount of public speaking. Not
only that, I've been a featured instructor at several of those
$5,000-a-pop marketing boot camps. Moreover, this newsletter
is read by the vast majority of the people who really count in
the field of direct marketing. And, as you know, I do a lot of
"self-aggrandizing advertising." I'm currently
"starring" in a commercial on Financial News Network
(FNN); you can see my self-centered ads in DM News, Investors
Daily, The Wall Street Journal, The L.A. Times, etc.; you can
hear me on cassettes and on the radio... and on and on and on.
So what? How does any of this put a buck in your pocket?
Hold on Buckwheat, I'll get to it. I promise.
OK now, where was I? Oh yeah, I was telling
you about all the stuff I do in the name of unmitigated
conceit. So anyway, the latest piece of propaganda I've come
up with is a report titled "16 Amazing Secrets You Can
Use To Sell Anything To Anyone Without Ever Meeting Them In
Person". Many of you have that report. However, for those
of you who don't, you need to know it consists of 16 sections,
most of which are made up of back issues of this newsletter.
Well, I don't mean to brag (?) but, this is
the most well-received piece of work I've ever published.
People call and write me constantly about it. Some say they've
read it 10 times. Most say this report has more valid
money-making ideas than anything else they've ever read. One
guy even said that reading the last two sections prevented him
Etc. Look, I'm not trying to sell you on
buying this report. Most of you have already read most of this
stuff anyway. What I am trying to communicate is that, foolishly or not, there now seems
to be legions of people
all over the U.S. who seem to think I've got something on the
ball and who want to work with me.
You'll see the significance of this in a
moment. But first, just to make sure we're both on the same
wavelength, I want you to read section #3 of my report which I
am reprinting here in its entirety.
To Get As Much Money As
You Need To "Roll Out" Your Project
And Get It Without Borrowing!
newsletter goes out all over the world. Many of my
subscribers are extremely successful and many of them
have enormous amounts of money.
These people are in contact with me on an almost daily
basis and they are always asking my opinion of different
areas of their business activities. Sometimes they want
my opinion on a person they may or may not decide to
hire. Other times they want to know if I think their
current marketing campaign could be improved. Often,
they send me their ads and sales letters for critique.
And so on.
However, one of the most common questions I am asked is
if I know about any new and tested
ideas in which they can invest money.
Now, let me tell you something: If you have a totally unproven
idea that you are "hoping" will work, then, I
probably can not
help you. On the other hand, if you have an idea that
you have tested with good results then, my friend, I may be able to direct you
to one or more people who may very well be willing to totally finance your business in return for a share of your profits.
Look, testing your ideas will
cost you some money. However, when you read Section 5 of
this report, you will learn how to rest an ad in a daily
newspaper at the lowest possible cost. And, if you
are a real hustler,
you can use the info in Section 9 to mail thousands of
sales letters virtually free.
Besides that, if you decide to test your idea via
"conventional" direct mail, it should only
cost you $1,500.00 or so if you are willing to do most
of the work (addressing, sealing, stuffing etc.)
yourself. So anyway, once you do your test and you have actual numbers then, here is what
you do. You write me a letter something like this:
ago I had an idea for selling a report my wife wrote on
"How To Lose Weight Without Starving" and I
wrote a newspaper ad offering her report for sale. I ran
the ad in the Podunk Daily News which has a circulation
of 53,000 and the ad cost me $1,200.00 for a 1-time
priced the report at $12.00 plus $1.50 postage and it
costs me about $3.50 to fill an order. Therefore, every
order yields up $10.00 in "contribution to
overhead." My ad pulled in 220 orders for a total
gross of $2,970.00.
$3.50 to fill an order it cost me $770.00 to fill all my
orders. Therefore, my total costs ($770.00 to fill
orders and $1,200.00 to pay for the ad) were $1,970.00
which, when subtracted from my gross of $2,970.00 left
me a bottom-line profit of...
let me know if you know anyone who would be interested
in funding this project for a share of the profit.
So & So
O.K., as soon as I receive such a letter from you or
someone else, what I do is, I immediately
put the word out to my network of potential investors
and usually there is some very
Think about it and, if you ever need funding to promote
your proven ideas, I welcome your call.
By the way, my number is...
Okay, you got all that?
Now, here's the thing: People are responding to my report in
general and, section #3 in particular, in droves! People are coming to
me with valid tested ideas and, there's no way in the world I can handle all
this stuff myself.
But, it would truly be a crying shame if I let all this go to
Want proof? Check this out. A guy calls me for an
appointment and then comes to my office. His story: He's an insurance agent
and he's written (and published) a little book titled "How To Save A
Fortune On Your Auto Insurance." Then, not knowing any better, he tells
me he created his own sales letter and mailed it to...
A Resident List!
And, even though such a list should not work, he told me he
got a 5.8% cash-with-order response!
Do you realize what that means? It's very simple. It means
that with a little savvy list selection, he should be able to mail something
70 Million Letters At A Huge Profit!
By the way, here is an exact copy (sans name) of the letter
this man sent to me.
purchased your book entitled "16 Amazing Secrets You Can
Use To Sell Anything To Anyone Without Ever Meeting Them In
Person" after reading your excellent advertisement in the
Los Angeles Times (10/3).
receiving this publication in a very surprising short period
of time, I eagerly read through it from the front to the back,
completely. After reading section three, Roll Out, I am going
to take you up on your offer, here go's...
I have the
hottest and most desired book out, period! As you can see from
the enclosed literature, my exciting block-buster entitled
"How To Save A Fortune On Your Auto Insurance" could
be one of the best selling books of the century. This
outstanding publication can be marketed nationwide and with
updates every couple years this book has an unlimited life.
Can you remember when insurance rates went down? They only
keep getting higher and higher. Let your mind wander with the
possibilities after reading the enclosed literature I've
taken the liberty to use the sample letter you suggested
sending you for simplicity purpose which you will find
currently seeking potential investors to promote this proven
idea on a grand scale. If this is of interest to you or
someone you feel is serious and has the means I would be very
interested in exploring the possibilities.
Recently I wrote and published a book
entitled "How To Save A Fortune On Your Auto
Insurance". I did a direct mail campaign in the West Los
Angeles area of 5,000 mailing with the following results.
I priced the book at $12.95 plus $2.00
postage and handling. It cost me approx. $2.38 to fill an
order. Therefore, every order yields up $12.57 in contribution
to overhead. My mailing pulled 290 (5.8%) orders for a total
gross of $4,335.50.
At $2.38 to fill an order it cost me
$690.20 to fill all orders. Therefore, my total cost ($690.20
to fill orders and $2,150.00 to pay for the mailing) were
$2,840.20 which, when subtracted from my gross of $4,335.20
left me a bottom-line profit of...
Please let me know if you know someone
who would be interested.
So, what did I do when he told me all this? That's easy. I
wrote him a big check and got him to sign a contract giving me the exclusive
rights to his book and his direct mail promotion for same.
Another example. A guy calls me, says he's read my report 10
times and he's got to talk with me in person. He comes to my office with
another (much younger) man and here's what they tell me: The younger man is
the son of a NASA scientist (now deceased) who was one of the main men
responsible for putting an American on the moon. Anyway, in his spare time,
this scientist puttered around (heh, heh) designing a set of golf clubs that
are engineered according to something called "the laws of curved
motion". These clubs are then given to a teaching pro (the older of the
two men sitting across from me) and he thinks they are fantastic and he gives
them to several "big name" pros to test out.
The pros love the clubs! They rave about them and these
guys show me article after glowing article in golf publications wherein these
pros lavish praise on the clubs.
But, more importantly, the young guy showed me a $9,400 ad (he
produced the actual invoice) that he ran in The Wall Street Journal for just
The result? That $9,400 ad pulled in more then $60,000!
And, the older guy then produces a golf magazine with a two
page spread that cost him $25,000 (it featured the full set of clubs)
Pulled In $630,000!
So, I decided to do business with these guys, also. But,
blinded by the light, guess what I forgot?
I Forgot That I Have Approximately The
Same Talent For Management That A Pig
Has For Solving Geometry Problems!
And yet, these good deals like the two I just described keep pouring
into my office on an almost daily basis.
What to do? What to do? "Hmn," I say to myself,
"just because I'm a management idiot doesn't mean my subscribers
are as hopeless as me!" So, I've got some questions for you:
|Do you have money to invest in
projects like these?
Can you make the "go ahead" decision yourself without having
to run to your lawyer, your accountant, your spouse, or your Daddy?
Do you have some management ability to go along with your money? I'm
talking specifically about the expertise to run a huge TV, direct mail
or space advertising campaign.
Would you be willing to share a teensy bit of your
profits with the Prince of Print in return for him feeding you some of
these good deals?
Hey, if you answered yes to all of the above questions,
you and I need to talk personally.
I'm serious. Look, in a business with a huge percentage of
slimebags, it has taken me years to establish myself as a savvy, honest guy
whose word is literally his bond. And now, I want to capitalize on that
Without Screwing Around Trying To Set
Myself Up In A Management Situation
For Which I Am Totally Unsuited!
Now, having said all that, please let me say this: If you are
on the other side of the coin and, you've got a hot, tested
promotion and, you want someone to run like crazy with it and pay you your
fair share of the loot then... you should call
I want to say something serious here with no attempt at humor.
Listen, for whatever reasons, valid or invalid, when it comes to the direct
response industry, my office has become "ACTION CENTRAL". You truly
wouldn't believe the deals, the ideas and the opportunities that flow to my
office and across my desk. And, quite simply, I can't take advantage of it
But, I want you to help me not let all this go to
waste. You know, there are so darn few really
good people out there that it's a shame they don't have a good way to
connect up with each other.
Well, now they do! Since I seem to be the spider sitting fat
and sassy at the center of this wondrous web, I've decided to set myself up as
a matchmaker and do what I can to put all the good people in touch with each
So, if you've got something: Talent, money, DM management
ability, a tested promotion and so on, I want you to join me and become
part of what's soon going to be known as...
Gary Halbert's Genius Network!
Please let me hear from you.
Gary C. Halbert
I've got a hot (and valuable) free gift for the
first 100 of my subscribers who call my office within the
next 11 days. I won't be here to take your call but Susan
and/or Lissa will and they'll send out your surprise the same
day you call!
hot deal just came in by FAX! It's a health newsletter
somebody wants to sell with 40,000+ active subs and a
$2,000,000 annual gross. Any takers?
Copyright © 2003 Gary C. Halbert. All Rights