North of Jewfish Creek
Dear Friend &
I intended to write this newsletter and mail
it to you about two weeks ago.
The reason I'm not writing it until now is, so
many things have been changing and, changing for the better.
I kept getting more and more info I wanted to include. But, I
can't wait any longer. Sometimes, you can have too many good
developments in your life that, even one more good development
is not welcome because you've got too much on your plate
Too much is too much no matter what.
Sometimes, having a zillion good options leaves you
immobilized rather than energized because, you get to thinking
maybe the option you've chosen is absolutely fantastic but,
the other one sitting over in the corner might even be
better... so... frozen with indecision... you end up making
the worst choice of all... which is, of course... no choice.
To hell with it. I'm just going to start
First, for years a substantial percentage of
my subscribers have wanted to know how to make money with a
personal computer. So, what I'm going to start out with here
today is to tell you exactly how to do that.
There are all kinds of formulas for effective
marketing but, for decades, the most dependable has
been a two-step formula that works like this: You run a little
classified or display ad in a newspaper or magazine. Maybe
it'll say something like this:
Free Report Reveals How To Make $5,000
Per Day By Reading The Classified Ads In Your Local Newspaper!
This report is 100% free. All you have to
do is write your name, address and the words
"Free Report" on a piece of paper and send
123 Elm Street
Massillon, OH 44646
OK, this causes "x" number of people to send you a
short letter to get your free info. Then, what you do is, send
them a long letter (the free report) which gives them
some info and gets them excited enough that they want more...
which... they can get by the simple expedient of buying
another report from you which gives them the real
There's dozens of variations of this formula.
You can generate leads by radio and TV instead of printed
media, you can generate leads now via the Internet (you shouldn't,
just yet), your "sales letter" can be a free
recorded message, a video tape or an audio tape. Maybe the
people can call for the free info instead of write for it.
But basically, it's all the same formula.
Inexpensive lead-generating ads followed by long, intense,
detailed sales presentations.
Let's do a little math: Say it costs you
$100.00 to run your lead-generator ad. Say it works pretty
well and you get 100 replies. Say it costs you about two bucks
to capture each name, print, get all the lettershop work done
and mail out your sales letters. Alrighty, now you've spent
$300.00 so far. Let's say you are selling your report for
$19.95 plus $3.00 shipping and handling and, after all
fulfillment costs, you have a gross net of $15.00 per sale.
From your 100 sales letters, you get five sales or, after
fulfillment costs, $75. Deduct that from the 300 smackers you
shelled out to buy the leads and mail your letters, you're in
the hole $225.00.
Well, shit, that sucks, doesn't it?
Let's double the response from those
100 letters. Now, we've got 150 fungolas after fulfillment
costs and we're only down $150. Still no good. Let's triple
the response to where we are getting 15 orders from those 100
sales letters. At a net of $15 per order times our 15 orders,
we've got after fulfillment $225 which, when subtracted from
our inescapable $300 "get going" costs, we're still
Let's jack up our response once again. Now,
we're getting 20 orders from our 100 sales letters. At $15 per
order after fulfillment costs times 20 orders, we've got $300.
Not counting our time, we are finally at break-even. Do you
understand the significance of what you've just read? Don't be
too sure. Maybe you've got it but, just in case you're a true
dimwit like Brad Antin or someone like that, please let me
make it perfectly clear...
We Are Still Not
Making Money Even
Though We Are Getting
A 20% Response!
Let's change things: Let's pretend, for a
moment, it doesn't cost us anything to send our sales letters.
We've still paid out $100 for the lead-generating ad. This
time, however, since there isn't any cost for mailing our
sales letters, when we get our 20% (20 orders) at a net gross
of $15 per order, we've got $300 after fulfillment, and when
we subtract the $100 we paid for the lead-generating ad, we've
got $200 left as profit.
We would've also made a profit with a 15%
We would've also made a profit with a 10%
We would've also made a profit with a 7%
Now, if you really, really honestly want to
make money on the Internet with all the bullshit taken out of
it, here's what you do: (1) Run a good, cheap little
lead-generating ad, and...
Run It In Print!
A newspaper. A magazine. Don't run it on the
'Net. You're not ready for that yet. You can make a lot
of money getting leads from the 'Net but, don't try to do it
until you're ready.
Next, you write and then type up the best
sales letter you can. Then, you upload that letter to a
website you have created for you. For the moment, stop
thinking about a website as a website. Think of it as a letter.
Make your website "Plain Jane." No graphics. No
photos. No animation. Nothing that moves.
Website "specialists" are like yellow-page ad
"specialists." They are like people who design
glossy brochures for your business printed in full-color so
you will look "professional."
All Of That Detracts
Another little thing: Make your website/letter
easy-to-read. That means high-contrast. Don't put blue words
against a purple background. I am constantly amazed at how
much money (zillions) is spent on advertising which is almost
impossible to read. If you have a computer and, you haven't
done it recently, go to my website www.ghlstockalert.com.
Notice how easy it is to read? Black type on a yellow
background is the easiest-to-read color combination you can
use. Near the end of the site it says something about a
"red-hot" little stock. Notice how
"red-hot" is printed in red and how it stands out?
It does so because I use color so sparingly. If you fly
over a GM manufacturing plant and look down and see 10,000 red
cars, you won't notice any one of them in particular. However,
if 9,999 of those cars are white... and... only one of them is
You Will Notice That Car!
Now listen: The first time you try to
use this formula, don't let any of your customers order any
way except by phone. Use closing copy something like this:
| "Before you
decide to buy this product, there is one more
important thing about it you should know. This is
something we don't publish on the Internet because we
only want our customers to have this particular piece
of little-known info. So, if you are interested, whip
out your credit card and call us at (000) 000-0000
during normal working hours and we'll give you this
extra little piece of critical info."
Is this the best way to sell stuff on the
'Net? No. Is it the best way for a beginner to sell something
on the 'Net? Yes. If you've been using a computer for 20-years
and, you are still not making money with it, you are a beginner.
Here's another idea for a lead-generating ad:
Is This Fair?
Did you know people with a personal computer get
much lower prices when they have their carpets cleaned than
people who don't have a computer? The reason this is true is
legal but, it is not fair. You can find out why (if you have a PC) by going to:
By the way, what I just wrote may or may not work. That doesn't matter. What
does matter is you've just been given an idea which should "spark"
We know lots of people will read this little ad and they'll go
to your website and the first thing they see is a black headline
electronically printed against a yellow background. It says:
The Amazing Reason People With Personal Computers
To Get Their Carpets Cleaned Than People Without PC's In Their Homes!
Underneath that headline is a sales letter... that looks
like a sales letter that explains using a website (properly) to get new
customers lowers advertising costs which we here at Dumb Joe's Carpet Cleaning
pass on to our customers, etc., etc., etc., blah, blah, blah, and so on.
How much should it cost you to set up this website? About
$160.00 if you do it yourself and about $300.00 if you have someone else do
Why should you only take orders by phone at the beginning?
Because, probably, you don't know how to write a really good sales letter. Few
people do. Just by talking to a hundred or so of your customers or prospects
will, I guarantee you, make your
next sales letter much more effective.
What about running your lead-generator in print instead of on
the 'Net? Here's the reason: The leads you get from print are going to be of much
higher quality than those you get from the 'Net... and... you're going to need
the highest-quality leads possible until you can write really good sales
letters. Plus, the thing which will bring you closer the fastest to having a
big success is, have a little success first. No matter how little either. Just
doing something that makes you a true $50 profit after all expenses makes you
a Player. Maybe just an "embryo" Player... but... that
doesn't matter. You'll be on your way. Think about it: You're six feet tall;
where you that tall all your life? Of course not. When you were born, you
weren't even two feet tall. But you had to be "born" before you
could grow up, didn't you? That's what I'm trying to do with you here as far
as selling via computer goes. All I'm trying to do (it's a lot) at this
Get You Born!
What's that? You say you already know how to write or at least
recognize a good sales letter? What horseshit. I bet you couldn't recognize a
good sales letter if it fell out of the sky, landed on your face and riggled.
In fact, I bet you don't even know what you get if you give Viagra to a
Here's a test: Joe Polish sent out a mailing to promote a
seminar. Unlike most of Joe's promotions, this one, for whatever reason,
didn't get him enough seminar attendees. He needed emergency help. He
called me. I wrote the following letter and he sent it immediately to his
entire list which has a sizable percentage of Halbert fans. Read it now:
As you can see, there is a $1.00 bill attached to
the top of this letter.
Why? Well, my name is Gary Halbert and attaching
a dollar bill to letters is a trick I've been using for years whenever
I absolutely must get someone's attention.
You may not know it but, in a way, you hold the
key to how happy I'm going to be this summer.
Listen: as you probably know, Joe Polish and I
have been best friends for several years. But, there is a lot of
differences between us. For one thing: he's thirty and I just turned
But, you know what?
In spite of that, I can still bench press more than him. I've got just
as much energy as he does too. And personally, I think I'm actually
sharper than him. In fact, to tell the truth, in spite of our 30-year
age difference, there's only one area where he has an edge on me. And,
now he doesn't even have that edge anymore. Why? I can tell you in one
So what's this got to do with you?
I'll be happy to explain. Look, you know Joe is a
sharp guy... and... you know he has taught thousands of carpet
cleaners how to make a ton of extra money. You know, he's a very sharp
But, sometimes, he gets to thinking he's better
than he is. Sometimes, he actually thinks he's as good as me. We were
having an argument last week and I got really pissed off so, I finally
wanted to, I could talk to any of your Piranha Members for just 45
minutes and, after that, they would know how to make more money in the
carpet cleaning business than they could learn from you in ten
it," he said.
will," I told him, "only
this time I'm not gonna do it for free. This time you're going to have
You see, because we are friends, I've never
charged Joe for me speaking at one of his boot camps or letting him
interview me or anything like that. But this time, it's going to be
different... because... you know what you do if you suddenly find out
you're an old man, you don't have a wife or girlfriend... and... God
has just given you an endless supply of Viagra? I'll tell you what you
do if you've got at least half a brain...
You Go To Rio!
That's what I'm gonna do and I'm going to sucker
Joe into paying for my entire trip.
Here's the deal: I don't know if you are signed
up for Joe's next boot camp or not but, you better be because here's
what I'm going to do. I'm going to be at the boot camp. I'm going on
last. In other words, I'm going to be the last speaker. By that time,
you will have heard everything Joe has to tell you. You'll have all
the handouts and all the free goodies that come with the boot camp.
You will have heard all the other speakers.
Then, I'm going to take the mike and I'm going to
teach you a few things you've never heard before. I'm going to reveal
money-making secrets Joe Polish has never dreamed about.
He doesn't even have a clue.
And, when I'm finished, if I have made good on
all this bragging, there's only thing I want you and all the other
boot camp attendees to do. I want you to stand up, applaud, stomp your
feet and start chanting:
Rio! Rio! Rio!"
And that's when Joe will know he has lost the bet
and my trip to "Heaven For
Elderly Men With Viagra" will be at his expense!
What if I fail? I won't... but... if I do... I
will literally crawl out of the room on my hands and knees with my
head bowed in shame and I will give Joe all the Viagra I've got left.
I'm serious. What I'm going to reveal at Joe's
next boot camp will literally change your life.
Plus, I don't ever intend to reveal these secrets
at any other boot camp.
So, if you're only going to attend one more
seminar in your life...
It Better Be This One!
If you absolutely, positively cannot make this boot camp, then
be smart enough to call Joe's office and reserve a set of the boot
camp tapes. You'd be crazy not to. By the way, his phone number is 800-275-2643.
How did that letter do? How many extra attendees did it get
for Joe's seminar? Write your guess down right here and now.
Now, read this next piece of writing also done by yours truly:
Of Tiny Nasdaq Company Likely To Explode Upwards Because Of
Just Released Story On CBS Evening News, Says GHLstockalert
FL July 17/PRNewswire
- The following statement was released today by GHLstockalert:
Technologies International, Inc. (Nasdaq: GRDN) has shown itself to be
extremely sensitive to late-breaking news, largely ignored by most
for any investor paying attention, overlooked small-cap stocks like
this represent opportunity for breathtaking profits whenever major
media networks lavish attention on the very problems they solve.
Technologies manufactures and distributes bullet-proof vests and other
'soft-armor' products to law enforcement agencies, private security
firms, U.S. military organizations, and foreign defense forces. They
possess three patents on body armor, and have the much sought-after
contracts for providing products to the General Services
Administration of the U.S. government, all police departments in the
Washington Metropolitan Council of Governments, the Philippine Navy,
and numerous other police departments and private firms and
being one of the tiniest companies on the Nasdaq, they are still
high-profile because their chairman and CEO is Oliver North, who
earned notoriety as President Reagan's aide in the 1980's and now
commands a wide audience as the host of a controversial talk radio
show aired nationally. Regardless of your opinion of North, he knows
from his 22-year stint as a U.S. Marine what it's like to be under
fire (he has two Purple Hearts), and what it takes to protect a man
from a hail of bullets.
bursts of activity in this stock occurred when the 'Bulletproof Vest
Partnership Act of 1998' was signed into law in June (providing $75
million for state and local law enforcement to purchase much-needed
body armor), and when news of Guardian's astonishing 1998 first
quarter revenue increase of 200% was announced in late May. However,
two current late-breaking news stories are dramatically boosting the
public's awareness of the need for even private citizens to secure
protection against armed criminals: (1) The announcement of the
Justice Department to appeal to the Supreme Court today to keep the
Secret Service from testifying overheard conversations by the
President, which Justice claims will increase the risk of
assassination; and (2) Last night's broadcast of the CBS Evening News
with Dan Rather, which focused on the astonishing availability of
deadly semi-automatic machine pistols to high-risk young criminals;
who are using them with deadly frequency against ordinary citizens.
this translates to increased demand for Guardian's unique product line
as more and more private individuals with something to lose are
suddenly realizing their own need for armor. The products provided by
Guardian Technologies are not outrageously expensive, and are uniquely
designed to withstand direct hits from rifles, automatic pistols, and
even sub-machine guns. The patented technology allows these ultra-thin
life-saving body armor 'shields' to be light and comfortable to wear
under normal clothes without detection.
these cutting-edge government-approved products, coupled with North's
high visibility and ability to reach millions with his radio show,
GHLstockalert believes today's news and network attention to
assassination and private citizen's vulnerability is going to force
investors to pay attention to Guardian. This company's recent growth
and acquisitions (most notably of N/S Microwave last month which has
the contract to provide security monitoring for the Goodwill Games
this summer) signal a new aggressiveness of this tiny company to take
immediate advantage of media coverage."
there any reason not invest in Guardian Technologies? "Yes,"
says GHLstockalert, "this is a small, speculative, volatile
company that is definitely not a safe haven for your 'nest egg' money.
However, if you've got what it takes to shoot for the moon once in a
while, Guardian Technologies (Nasdaq: GRDN) just might give you the
most exhilarating ride of your life."
Contact: Eve Kincaid, GHLstockalert, 305-534-7577
How did this one do? Did it get more people interested in
Guardian's stock? How many more? Write your guess here:
OK, the test is finished. Let's see how well you did.
What was your guess to #1, the "emergency" letter I
wrote to help Joe Polish get more attendees? How many more attendees did it
get him? Here's the answer:
Not one. Zip. Nada.
Do you know why? If you think you do, you're wrong. The reason
is: You don't know. Neither do I. Remember: "Success has a thousand fathers but failure is an orphan."
It was a "killer" attempt. I knew when I wrote it I
would hit an out-of-the-park-homerun... or... I'd strike out as completely as
I do whenever I ask a pretty woman to have lunch with me.
Howzabout that release on Guardian Technologies? Did that one
work? Yep. Sure did. The day before the release was issued, the stock traded
100 shares. On the day the release went out, the number of shares traded
I'm gonna brag a little. (Boy, that's a surprise, isn't it?)
Anyway, here's my belief: Nobody in the world knows how to research stocks
like I do. Dow Jones (who publishes the Wall
Street Journal) has done three stories on me in just the last week. When
the young lady reporter came to my apartment to interview me, at first I was
inclined to brush her off. Then I changed my mind. After a bit of small talk I
said, "You know what? I don't give
a shit what you write about me. Come on over here and sit next to me at my
computer and I'll show you how easy it is."
Then I told her, "First
of all, this is the fastest computer in the world," (my modem speed
is 1,600,000K) "and here's how I
She was stunned. So would you be if you could sit next to me
and watch me work.
Gary C. Halbert
|Question: Right now, I send this
newsletter to you by first-class mail. Would you rather receive it by fax?
If so, drop us a line with your fax number.
Or, would you rather get it by e-mail? A good idea if you have a printer. A
bad idea if you don't. If you would like to get it by e-mail, drop us a line
with your e-mail address.
A final thought: If you ain't going to my website and getting your silly ass
signed up to be on my website mailing list, you are truly a dumb bunny.
* Don King
Copyright © 2003 Gary C. Halbert. All Rights