South of Jewfish Creek
Friend & Subscriber,
God has managed to surprise me again.
In last month's newsletter, I wrote all about
the "killer" "Master's of the Millennium"
seminar I am putting together. I did not give details
like where and when I'm going to have the seminar, how much
it's going to cost and stuff like that.
As I said in that letter, I wasn't giving out
that information because there were details about the seminar
I didn't want to reveal to anyone unless they were a serious
potential attendee... and... I wanted to have a personal
telephone conversation with those particular people.
Well, when I wrote that, there were a few
things I did not anticipate.
First, I did not anticipate the sheer number
of calls I was going to receive. I haven't given a personal
seminar in quite some time and there are many
people who would like to attend.
Secondly, I did not anticipate Hurricane
Floyd. Most of Floyd's fury missed us here in the Florida
Keys... but... as you know... Floyd really tore the ass out of
the Eastern Seaboard of the United States. There are still
thousands of people without electrical power, basic medical
necessities, transportation and nearly everything else we have
learned to take for granted.
Like phone service.
Many of my subscribers called me from those
areas, and then, because of Floyd, it has been difficult or
totally impossible to return their calls.
Thirdly, I did not anticipate Tropical Storm
Harvey which did slam us
here in the Keys. There wasn't a lot of property damage,
physical injuries or loss of life but, if you've never
I Bet You Have No Clue
Just How Disruptive One
Of These Storms Can Be
To Your Life!
Ah well, it's just that damn "conveyor
belt of life" speeding up a little, that's all.
Anyway, because of all this, I am going
to reveal all the details of my upcoming seminar right here in
this newsletter... because of... the almost dead certainty I
will not be able to have a personal conversation with
everyone who wants to attend.
The seminar is going to be held at the Phoenix Airport Hilton Hotel (whose telephone number is 480/894-1600)
on the 10th, 11th and
12th of December. In case you don't have a calendar handy,
that's a Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
The cost of the seminar is $3,995.00 if you
pay by credit card... but... only $3,900.00 if you pay by
check or money order.
I'd like to explain the reason for this since
it might be something useful for you to know if you have a
business of your own. Let's say you have a mail order business
and your credit card orders average about $15,000 per month.
Then, let's say you decide to put on an expensive seminar...
or... you initiate a huge advertising campaign... or... you
write all your customers offering them a special deal... to
which... they respond in droves.
As a consequence, let's say your credit card
orders jump up to about $150,000 in one particular 30-day
period. Here is what may very well happen: An anal retentive
brain-dead bureaucrat who works for the people who process
your credit card orders will notice you have a sudden increase
in sales which amounts to ten times your normal volume.
You know what that piece of shit will do?
He'll put a "freeze" on your merchant account. You
won't be able to process any more credit card orders... and...
you won't be able to get your hands on the money generated
from the credit card orders you have already processed.
It's only fair. After all, anyone who has a
sudden increase in sales of 1,000% just has to be doing
something wrong. Maybe you're laundering money for drug
dealers? Maybe you're processing credit card orders for shady
characters who can't get a merchant account themselves? Maybe
all these sales are bogus and you are falsifying all those
credit card orders?
In any case, Mr. Numnuts will probably not
call you to find out what's really going on. He won't initiate
any kind of investigation whatsoever. He'll just simply
"freeze" your account and basically...
When you go to talk with him about this, you
will find him to be a pompous, little asshole full of his own
importance... and... even if he believes you are not doing
Why? Simply because you are doing something
successful, something that indicates to him you are making a
lot of money... and... something that brings home to him with
great clarity just what a nobody and a loser he
And you, of course, have to be punished for
Yes, after everything comes out in the wash,
you will get your money back. But in the interim, your
business will be crippled for a long period... and... Mr.
Numnuts will be gloating all that time you are struggling to
keep your business alive. That's happened to me three times so
far... and... as recently as the first part of this past year.
One time, FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER, one of
those assholes froze $125,000 of mine for an entire year...
and... they even collected interest on that money while it was
in "escrow." But, of course, that interest was not
passed on to me! (Nor will it be to you.)
Actually, my problems with these jerks have
been relatively minor. This stuff happens every day. I have
friends and clients who've had more
than a million dollars kidnapped by these scumbags of the
"Merchant Account Mafia."
So yes, even though I can accept credit
card orders, I really would prefer you pay by check or money
By the way, in last month's letter, I did tell
you about almost everything you will learn at my upcoming
seminar. However, there is one little thing I was holding out
as a "surprise." But, due to the circumstances, I
guess I may as well go ahead and reveal it here and now...
I Am Going To Teach All My
Attendees How To Set Up An
With A Start-Up Cost Of Less Than $300.00!
Come closer. Pay attention here. When I say
"profitable," I mean profitable!
Depending on the health of your "greed glands" this
is something you can use to make anywhere from a few hundred
bucks per day up to more than a million dollars a month.
Not only that, if you are a real hustler, you
can have this website up and running with money flowing to you
in about five days from the time the seminar is over!
I am not kidding. This is for real.
So, if you want to come to my seminar, you can
use the enclosed order form and register by either faxing it
to us at 352/861-1665... or... mailing it to us in the enclosed
self-addressed reply envelope.
One other thing: I am now about to do
something I am going to HATE myself for doing. Namely this:
Due to Hurricane Floyd and all the other "acts of
God" which have happened since my last newsletter, I am
going to give out my personal telephone number (the one that
rings six inches from my right hand) for anyone who... for
real... needs to ask me questions about the seminar. Here
Let's mush on. As I write this, I'm sitting in
one of the public libraries in Monroe County and I have a
number of newspaper articles in front of me. One of them
appeared in the September 22, 1999 edition of USA
Today. The headline says, "2000
'Bug' Unlikely To Disappear!"
Here are a few scattered quotes from that
"...experts, including some of the government's top advisors are
sticking to their recommendation that people be ready with
extra food, water and cash..."
"...the Senate says that local and regional power outages remain a
"...as of June, only 37% of all emergency systems were
"...the Senate says 670 airports remain at risk..."
The Senate report released "grades"
of the overall quality of Y2K readiness in eight sectors. They
did it with a "star rating" system with five stars
being the best rating a sector could have. Here's how it
shapes up: Financial Services is the only sector that got a five-star rating. Telecommunications and
Utilities both got a four-star rating. Transportation,
Business and Government Services all got a three-star rating.
And Health Care? Only a lousy two stars!
There was one more sector identified as
"International" that also got only a two-star
rating. Now listen up: If you can
"read-between-the-lines," that's the most
frightening revelation of all. Basically, what it translates
to is this:
As Of January 1, 2000 A Great
Deal Of All The Business We Do With
Other Countries, Is Going To Go...
Right Into The Toilet!
To all those government bureaucrats who are
now admitting Y2K is, indeed, going to be a serious problem,
I'd like to say this: "No shit, Dick Tracy."
More: Here's a little something from
yesterday's (9/29/99) Miami
Herald which I think is remarkably revealing about the
times we live in. It's a tiny, three paragraph article buried
way back in the "Siberian Pages" of the paper.
Here's the entire story:
Police Chief Admits
To Molesting 7 Boys
VA -- The Police Chief of a farming town and a local
electrician have admitted molesting seven boys between
the ages of 9 and 16.
D. Harvey, 30, Police Chief of Alberta for three
years, pleaded guilty to 13 charges of forcible sodomy
and aggravated sexual assault. The assaults took place
between December, 1997 and last February. Michael Lee
Knight, 41, pleaded guilty to 14 similar counts.
was placed on unpaid suspension after his arrest.
Sentencing was scheduled for December 16.
I consider stories like this to be so
revealing because of the publicity they do NOT
get. Can you imagine what a sensation this story would
have been 30 years ago? Now, it's not even enough to earn the
bad guys their allotted "15 minutes of fame." Why?
Because stuff like this is so commonplace!
There are so many stories these days about priests molesting
choirboys, politicians stealing money, parents abusing their
children, wars breaking out in Bosnia, Kosovo, East Timor (and
other places we never even knew existed), we have become
"numb" to the atrocities of the modern world.
Believe it or not, this has a lot to do with
marketing. It reveals how clever we've got to be now just to
get a moment of someone's attention.
Remember how I predicted a few issues ago that
gold would likely be going for as much as $1,000 an ounce next
January? Well, it has already started to happen. The price of
gold just had its biggest one-day jump in 13-years. Who's
doing all the buying? European Central Banks, that's who.
Those guys are smart.
Don't tell them Y2K is just going to be a little
"bump-in-the-road." They KNOW what's coming!
Incidentally, these guys realize gold is not
an inflation hedge; it's a panic hedge.
And boy, are we ever about to experience a
worldwide panic! I think it's going to be exciting as hell
(for those of us who understand what's happening.)
Speaking of gold, what about the stock market?
I don't know exactly where it will be when you read this
letter but, today, as I write this...
The Stock Market Just
Experienced Its Biggest
One-Week Point Loss
Doesn't stuff like this take the wind out of
my new stock trading system? Not at all. With my system, you
NEVER invest in the so-called "market"... instead...
you invest in individual stocks about which there is
really HOT news! Like, for example, Foundry Networks (FDRY)
that makes equipment which runs Internet service providers
such as America Online.
This stock is a rarity among internet
stocks... because.. it is actually profitable! So, when the
company decided to go public (right in the midst of one of the
biggest stock market declines in history) the price of each of
its shares enjoyed a 525% 1-day gain. In case you're
That's A Gain Of
$131.25 Per Share
In One Single Day!
You know what? If you don't come to my
seminar, you are truly a dummy.
Gary C. Halbert
can't tell you how much I appreciate all the
compassionate letters I've received about my Uncle
Jack and my daughter, Cindy. Those letters are
precious (and nourishing) to me.
Thank you so
You know, I work
as hard as I can to come off as an arrogant,
conceited, insufferable jerk. But, damnit, so many of
my readers (like Conrad Adelman for example) are such
caring people, it makes it really difficult for me to
maintain that position so I can do my job properly.
almost forgot. As I told everyone I could reach by
phone about my seminar, there is one additional
"surprise." If you register for my seminar right
now, you can bring one extra person (like your
spouse, your friend or your business partner)... for
free! But you've got to do it immediately because
I'm keeping this seminar small... so... I can give
each individual paid attendee personal
Copyright © 2003 Gary C. Halbert. All Rights