North of Jewfish Creek
Dear Friend & Subscriber,
Sometimes I wonder about myself.
Have you ever seen a waterspout? They are small intense
tornados that occur over water. I heard somewhere the winds in
those things have been clocked at speeds in excess of 370
miles per hour.
Waterspouts are terrifying and terribly destructive.
One of the bravest men I've ever known was once reduced to a
frightened, sobbing, begging-to-God little child when a boat
he was in got overtaken by one of these fiends of nature. Down
in the Keys, they called this guy "Little Boy"
because he was the opposite. He was a huge, smelly monster of
a man and sometimes, he would run my father's lobster boat
(the "Black Cat") when my Dad had it down in
Marathon. I can still remember standing on the dock at Faro
Blanco Marina and looking up at him sitting confident and
arrogant in the captain's chair on the flybridge with his huge
forearms resting on the steering wheel. This guy was a
throwback to the caveman days and there was no subtlety or
artifice about him whatsoever.
He operated almost 100% on the "lizard brain"
imprinted somewhere in the cerebral cortex of all human
But that waterspout sure brought him to his knees. The
way he told it, the boat turned into a whirling spinning
nightmare of uncontrolled violence. It was as though the hand
of God had reached down from the heavens, seized the boat and
began shaking it more violently than a level seven earthquake
does to a home which has been built under specs.
I've been afraid of waterspouts ever since I first saw
one and heard my father and others telling horror stories
Inevitably, I ran into one. I was on my dive boat, the
"Original Sea Hunt" when one appeared out of nowhere
about 100 yards off the bow. It was a little one, a
"baby" just in the formative stages. At that point,
it was a frenzied circle of wind maybe 12 feet high. Looking
up to the sky, I could see another spout of wind coming down
from a dark cloud and trying to link up with the birthing
demon on the water. Maybe a weatherman will tell you that's
not how it works but, that's how it was that day.
I was up in the tuna tower and Randy Rode, a famous
fishing guide in the Keys, was at the wheel downstairs.
"Get up close to it, Randy," I hollered down.
"Let's take a look at that sucker."
He edged the boat closer.
It was awesome. Spooky. The wind gave off a very
powerful hissing sound like ten million rattlesnakes all
getting ready to strike at the same time. "Go through it,
Randy!" I yelled. "Charge right through that
"We can't Gary, we can't," he shouted back.
Randy has lived around boats and on the water all his
life. So did his father. And his brother. His late
brother. Whose life was cut short by a sudden electrical storm
when he was anchored right off the lighthouse tower at
Sombrero reef. What happened was, a lightning bolt hit the
tuna tower of the boat... fried
everything on board... and... electrocuted Randy's
brother. So, you can be sure, Randy has a healthy respect for
what Momma Nature can do. Especially so, that day we were so
far to hell and gone out in the Gulf Stream we were closer to
Cuba than the U.S. when that damn waterspout came up out of
nowhere. I kept yelling anyway...
"Randy, You Ain't Got A Hair
On Your Ass If You Don't Charge
"Do it!" I yelled, "do
it, run right through it!"
That "ain't got a hair on your ass" got him
where he lived and he ran that boat right through the middle
of that arrogant knot of intimidation. "AGAIN!" I
yelled, "DO IT AGAIN!"
He did. Over and over we charged right through that
waterspout. And you know what? We broke that sucker up! Tore it
to pieces. Moments later it was like it was never there. I
looked up to the sky and that evil bitch trying to mate with
the one on the water was gone too.
Randy and I were faint with relief and giggling
helplessly. Like little school girls.
I read a quote once that goes something like this:
"Fear knocked on the door and when courage answered,
there was no one there."
I suspect though, that idea ought not be stretched too
This all reminds me of what I did at the beginning of
my seminar on "How To Write A Sales Letter That Will Make
You Rich" which just ended four days ago. I'm not going
to tell you here what I made the attendees do. That would take
up too much space. But, it sure jolted the hell out of them.
They were stunned.
They didn't know it
(I think) but, I was quaking in my boots when I told
them to do it. I figured they might all walk out on me.
Nevertheless, I wanted them to really "get it"
("it" being what makes writing really work) so I
took the chance. I knew they would either abandon me or, they would start to understand.
They got it. I made them do something they'll never
forget for the rest of their lives. Just like I'll never
forget that day out in the Gulf Stream when me and Randy Rode
broke up that waterspout.
I'm not a brave man. Not at all. But sometimes, some
other persona takes over my body and makes me do things I'd
normally be too frozen with fear for the pathetic, sniveling
actual me, myself to do.
Sometimes it works good too.
I think I'm trying to make a point here but, for the
life of me, I can't imagine what it is. Ah, to hell with it.
I'll go on to something else. Listen: The centerpiece of the
pass-out materials at my seminar was a collection of
"Masterpiece Letters" which have generated jillions
of dollars in sales and profits. That
collection of "Masterpiece Letters" is worth
100 times the entire cost of the seminar... and... what I
urged my attendees to do... was... copy those letters out in
their own handwriting. Why? So they'd actually have a
neurological imprint on a cellular level of what it feels
actually write... "killer" sales messages.
I urge you to do that also. Obviously, I can't
reproduce all those letters here. However, I can give you the
words of the headlines and/or opening sentences that were used
to get 26 of those letters started. And, that alone, if you
copy them in your own handwriting, will get your
juices flowing and give you
the beginnings of a superb neurological imprint that will
serve you well the rest of your days.
A: A masterpiece from the legendary John Carlton who has
just written 16 "homerun
letters" in a row!
Famous Street-Fighter Will Give You A FREE GUN... Just
To Prove He Can Take It Away From You Bare-Handed
As Easy As Candy From A Baby!
to send you a free gun. (It is identical in CAD-imaged
specs to the standard military-issue "Red
Style" training gun.)
are 2 things I want you to do when you receive it:
I want you to set the gun aside, and watch the
four videos I will also send.
Then, I want you to give the gun to the
toughest, biggest and most coordinated friend you
ask him to:
The Gun At You
And Squeeze The Trigger!
important you choose someone who is larger than you.
Preferably, he should also have some skill at
black belt karate master would be perfect.
I asking you to do this? Because I want to prove to you that what you see on these video tapes will allow you
to instantly take that gun away (bare-handed) and put him down on the ground before he can move a muscle to squeeze
beginning of a love letter to his wife Betty, from the
late Joe Karbo:
Selling the current version of "7
Steps-To-Freedom" by Ben Suarez:
I love you very much.
to take care of you and our kids for the rest of your
lives. There'll be good times and bad. But I'll try to
do my best with what I've got.
From time to time, I'll probably exasperate or
annoy you. But I promise that you'll never be bored.
Dear Gary C. Halbert,
I am writing to inform you about a 21-year,
time-tested way to use your personal computer to make
money right from your home; or, create multi-million
dollar businesses from scratch without bank loans,
venture capitalists, or selling stock.
D: Another Suarez promo:
Another Suarez promo: Beautiful, simple and deadly
Dear Gary C. Halbert,
I am writing to inform you about a truly simple
way to access the worldwide Information Superhighway
and a method to use your personal computer to make
money right from your home.
Dear Gary C. Halbert,
I wish to inform you that new research has
finally uncovered the 5 causes of the lower abdominal
bulge and how to flatten it like a board.
you more than just another pretty face?
Creative Businessman Wants To Find A Hot, Sexy Woman
With A Good Sense Of Humor
"Killer from Karbo":
H: A Wall Street Journal sub pitch mailed successfully (with variations)
for more than 18 years:
The Lazy Man's Way To Riches
'Most People Are Too Busy Earning A
To Make Any Money'
I used to work hard. The 18-hour days. The
But I didn't start making big money until I did
less--a lot less.
On a beautiful late spring afternoon,
twenty-five years ago, two young men graduated from
the same college. They were very much alike, these two
young men. Both had been better than average students,
both were personable and both--as young graduates
are--were filled with ambitious dreams for the future.
Recently, these men returned to their college
for their 25th reunion.
I: Once in a blue moon, Jay Abraham does get a
||LETTER J: Great grabber opening. Almost everyone I've ever met
wishes they could write a book:
October 1, The President's Sweeping Tax Bill Goes Into
Effect. One Undervalued Investment Form Could Become
The Greatest Single Beneficiary Of Them All...
congressional tax bill will affect more than just
individual and corporate tax returns. The
repercussions could be felt in everything from real
estate partnerships and retirement plans, to savings
accounts, stock portfolios, tax shelters and trusts.
If you want to write and get published, I can't
think of a better way to do it than writing books and
stories for children and teenagers. Ideas flow
naturally right out of your own life.
L: Anticipates resistance and meets it head-on:
$39 Stock Market Innovators' Survey Explains 24
Specific Ways To Boost Your Profits In Common Stock
send you a copy of a very unusual guide to Stock
Market Investing that features interviews with 12 of
Wall Street's foremost investment professionals. These
successful money managers and investment analysts
present their combined set of 24 investment strategies
that could make you a more intelligent more successful
stock market investor.
me make a prediction--
predict that many, many thousands of people who really
love music will not mail in their vouchers for the 4
compact discs, cassettes or records we offer - simply
because they're suspicious!
got to be a catch," they'll say. "Getting up
to $63.92 worth of compact discs, cassettes or records
for nothing is just too good to be true."
M: Adapted from a great ad originally
written to sell a book on how to bet on the horses and
N: Who in the world could not read this?
I've got to get this off my chest before I explode!
Inside View Subscriber:
been troubled, for a long time, with a major dilemma.
a tax problem and I want you to be the beneficiary
instead of the IRS...
O: Sometimes even I get lucky. This
one started Robert Allen down a path that made him 75
Robert G. Allens
Challenge Systems, Inc.
2010 Jimmy Durante Blvd.,/Suite 224
Del Mar, CA 92014
December 22, 1988
Del Mar, California
As you can see, I have attached a penny to the
top of this letter for two reasons:
I have something very important to tell
you and I needed some way to catch your attention.
Since what I am writing about concerns money, I
thought a little "financial eyecatcher" was
name is Robert Allen. On March 13th, my staff
hand-selected and taught 189 people etc., etc.
P: Makes you feel special... and...
Q: Excellent opening sentence even thought
it was used by a truly scummy human being:
private invitation is going out to just a handful of
people, yourself included. I hope you'll accept my
invitation. But even if you decide not to, I want to
send you a gift... Absolutely Free.
you be pleased if you made 50% of your portfolio every
12 months? Your money would double EVERY two
years--you could start with $10,000 and become a
millionaire very quickly--13 years to be exact. Start
with $100,000 and you're there in 7 years.
R: Don't you just gotta know what this is
S: CompuServe pitch to geeks:
one-third of all the millionaires in America be wrong?
we're not mistaken, you're already quite familiar with
computers and how to use them.
believe you're also interested in ways your computer
"know how" can help improve your life and
the lives of those close to you.
T: I sure don't want to be an
"also-ran", do you?
U: No kiddding, hmn?
YEARS FROM NOW, your business could be worth 2.5 to 25
times what it's worth today... Or you could fall into
the list of business also-rans...
choice is yours.
Inside Sports reader:
you know that the long-term performance of baseball
cards beats the pants off of stock, T-bills, and rare
V: Sure I
I wanna be special too:
money were no object, would you own Encyclopedia
members of the National Audubon Society constitute
only a fraction of one percent of America's
they are a very important fraction.
Gary C. Halbert
820 Ocean Dr. #308
Miami Beach, FL 33139
Gary C. Halbert:
Publisher of Advertising Age asked me to make a very
special subscription offer to a small, select group of
advertising and marketing professionals. Your name was
submitted to me as one who qualifies.
Y: A Thomas Hall classic. This one gets my vote
for the best opening sentence of a sales letter ever
written. If you can't adapt and twist this opening to
whatever you're pitching, you're hopeless.
would like to lose up to 63 pounds, then here is how I
did it in Japan and why I think you can do it in
would like to make a lot of money FAST in mail order -
right from your own home, and do it now - here
is how I've done it several times in the Orient.
why I believe you could do the same in
America with information I'll give
Listen you smuck. Save this issue forever. Copy these
openings over and over in your own handwriting. This will give
you an invaluable, neurological imprint of great
writing. Doing this will help you "own" these
masterpiece sentences and paragraphs. They will live inside
you, mutate while you sleep, multiply into other great ideas.
Do not think you are too advanced, too smart or too
experienced to benefit (enormously) from this simple exercise.
Gary C. Halbert
Copyright © 2003 Gary C. Halbert. All Rights