This is the very first issue of The Gary Halbert Letter ever.
Even if you
don’t finish reading this epic first newsletter by Gary Halbert, be
sure to check out the update at the end to see how I use the exact same
concepts in this issue to get what both Awebber and GetResponse say are
insanely high email open rates.
In fact, I
recently got a 52.1% open rate on an email I sent to well over 10,000
names. The list was built over time. It wasn’t a purged batch of hot
buyers from a larger list and we didn’t scrub the list or play with the
numbers in any way.
email promoted three different books on copywriting and all three of
those books made it into the top four spots on Amazon’s paid best
seller list and...
stayed in the top spots for a several days too, so I’m not talking
about sacrificing return on investment for a higher open rate. It’s
always about the sales.
smaller lists of only a few thousand names, I can get email open rates
as high as 76% but again, it’s the sales that indicate we are doing
something right and what we are doing is applying the same underlying
psychological concepts outlined in this issue.
100% ingrained Gary Halbert teachings at work and it’s not a fluke. We
win split-test competitions all the time and I'll give you a couple
tips on how we do it for free.
Saturday, 2:30 P.M.
September 1, 1986
Dear friend and
you remember receiving a letter from me with a dollar bill attached to
it a couple of weeks ago?
do remember? Good. And now, as you can see, once again I am sending you
a letter with money attached. This time it's a penny. A nice, bright,
shiny copper penny.
going on here? Why do I keep sending you letters with money attached?
Am I some kind of nut or something?
so. Come to think of it, nobody yet has ever accused me of being sane!
However, this time, at least, there is a bit of method to my madness.
You see, what I'm trying to do is "condition" you. What I want is for
you to get used to the idea of receiving money in the mail as a result
of your association with me. I want it to become a habit. I want it to
happen every day. I want you to experience what it is like to be flooded
with so much mail you will have to hire an extra 40 people just to
count it all and help you make your bank deposits!
scoff. I've already done it dozens of times.
now, my friend, I'm going to show you how to do it
too. Won't that be nice? Let's get started!
of all, if you've been paying attention, you should have already
learned something that can dramatically increase the bottom-line
profitability of almost any direct-marketing organization. Did you miss
it? I bet not. What I'm talking about, of course, is the proper way to
respond to an order.
you know what most mail order companies do when they get an order:
Usually, the procedure goes something like this: They log it in,
keypunch the customer data, generate a label, send the label to a
fulfillment facility and then... the order gets filled.
what they should be doing: As soon as they get an order, they should immediately
send what I call a "thank you, please send more money" letter. Right
away. Without waiting for keypunching. Without waiting for label
generation. Without waiting till the order is filled. Without waiting
should be done rather like the way I did it when you
ordered from me. Remember? Remember how you got a
very dramatic (and incidentally, very sincere) letter from me that
thanked you for your order? Remember how I took the trouble to reassure
you that you had made a wise decision when you subscribed to my letter?
Remember how I resold you a little on the benefits to come?
then... do you remember how, at the end of my letter, I told you I had
enclosed another subscription order form... and...
how I asked you "to give it to someone you love"?
that? You say you did catch all that? You say
you're already doing something similar or at least you're going to
listen: Did you also notice how, by attaching something to the top of
my letters, I am able to immediately capture and focus my reader's
(your) attention? Did you also notice, however, how I made sure the
attachment "made sense" (no pun intended) within the context of the
rest of my letter? Did you notice how neatly my copy made the
transition from the attachment (a penny) to the subject (getting money
in the mail) of my letter?
did catch all that?
Wonderful. I knew you would. After all, you are one of my subscribers
and my subscribers really are the sharpest people (true) in the entire
let's stop messing around. Let's dive right in to the subject of this
month's letter which is...
The Amazing Direct Mail Secret
Of A Desperate Nerd From Ohio!
first got bitten by the mail order bug in the mid-1960's. What really
got me fired up was reading a little set of booklets called The
Direct Mail Guides written by a man named Thomas Hall. Those
guides were terrific. They remain, to this day, the very best material
I've ever read on the subject of direct mail.
any case, those guides were my original inspiration... and later... I
became even more excited when I read an article in The
Reporter of Direct Mail about a man named John Leslie who had
a company called "Leslie Creations" and later, another company called
"Mail Order Methods."
me, Leslie and Thomas Hall were heroes. They were clear-headed doers
who were successful in the most exciting, romantic business on earth:
Mail Order. They had money, an exciting lifestyle (Leslie even had two
refrigerators: One just for soft drinks!), recognition of their peers,
and everything else a man could want. I longed to be just like them.
I started to study. Hard.
read everything I could get my hands on about advertising, direct mail
and mail order. I mean
everything. If my local
library or bookstore didn't have a marketing book I wanted, I would
drive hundreds of miles to get it. I even flew to New York (I was
living in Ohio at the time) to check out the Manhattan Public Library,
and to Washington, D.C. to forage through the Library of Congress.
me tell you: I was driven. I read it all. I was
voracious. I went on a reading frenzy with the same passion a Great
White goes on a feeding frenzy. I memorized all the rules, AIDA, IDCA,
PPPP and so on. I learned, from my reading, that hundreds of split-run
tests over the years had proven the following:
is more cost effective to use bulk rate than first-class postage.
copy on the outer envelope always increases response.
two-color letterhead is better than only one color.
best direct mail package always contains (in addition to an outer
envelope with teaser copy all over it and a two-color sales letter), a
four-color brochure, a business reply envelope and a printed order
was gospel. After all, all the books said the same thing. Those books
also said it was almost impossible to make a compiled list work and
that you should never, ever try to make a mailing to names from a
was I to argue? This stuff was all "proven".
so, armed with the results of all this "proven" research, I set out to
make my fortune in direct mail.
then, my life settled into a routine and it went like this: I would
come up with a product idea like a book or a report or something and
then, following all the rules, I would create a direct mail package to
sell that product. After that, I would then beg, borrow or steal enough
money to get my envelopes, letters, brochures and everything else
printed up and then, (to save money), my wife and I would stuff the
letters and stamp and seal them ourselves and put them in the mail.
Then, of course, we'd sit back to wait for the money to roll in.
never came. Not very much anyway.
so, I'd start over. I'd find or conceptualize another product and I'd
go at it once again. I was so obsessed in those days that, if
necessary, I would literally spend the utility money to make my test
mailings. Sometimes my wife and I would be anxiously waiting for the
orders to come while sitting in a dark house with no water because we
hadn't paid our utility bills.
got to be very tiresome. Especially for Nancy. She was remarkably firm,
after awhile, on the idea we should not let our water be turned off
just so we could mail another test. Can you imagine that? I mean
really; how narrow-minded can a person be? Is it any wonder we
eventually got a divorce?
anyway, after about three years (I'm sometimes a slow learner) of this
dreary existence, I sat down and did some thinking. I said to myself
something like this:
what would you do if you had to make your next
mailing work? What if you could only mail one
letter and, if you didn't get a response, you would quite literally, be
thinking like that sometime... like your life actually
depends on the success of your next mailing. Can you do it? Can you put
yourself in that frame of mind? Well, I did, and I came to a number of
conclusions, and I want you to reason along with me.
listen, if, for real, you had to mail one letter to a stranger and you had
to get an order from him or you really would be murdered, here is the
way I think you would be thinking:
I bet you would NOT mail bulk! Certainly not if your life depended on
it. Would you? I sure wouldn't for at least three reasons:
the stranger I was writing to had moved, my bulk-rate letter would
NOT be forwarded to him... and... if my life really was on the line, I
sure wouldn't chance non-delivery. Would you?
if I mailed bulk rate and my letter did get delivered, I
would be scared to death that maybe the stranger to whom I was writing
would see it was bulk rate and maybe not open it because maybe he was
very busy and maybe not feel like taking the time to open anything
except his personal mail.
even back then, I had a sneaking suspicion that sometimes
postal workers would throw away bulk-rate mail because they were too
tired or too lazy to lug it around and they knew nobody would
so, my friend, for those three reasons, I decided to mail my "life or
death" letter via first-class mail.
wait! Since my life was on the line, I also wanted to make sure my
recipient knew it was first-class mail. In other
words, I wouldn't risk confusing him by using metered mail or a
first-class printed indicia. No. Absolutely not. Since my life depended
on getting that letter opened, I decided I would use a real,
honest-to-God, live postage stamp!
the way, have you ever seen any of those stupid direct mail packages
that use first-class postage that is cleverly disguised to look like
about postage. The next thing that occurred to me is I would not put a
label on my carrier envelopes. Certainly not if my life depended on it.
No. What I would do, instead is, type or handwrite
my stranger's name and address on that envelope because I would want
him to accept my letter as a personal
what else? Well, I decided I wouldn't put any teaser copy on the
envelope either. I mean, honestly, would you risk your life
on getting a response from a letter mailed to a stranger if the outside
How To Get TIME Magazine
At Half Price!"
would I write on the envelope? Well, I decided my best bet would be to
write something like "URGENT"
or "FIRST CLASS MAIL" or else maybe
write nothing at all.
what about the corner card? Should it reveal my letter was from TIME-LIFE BOOKS or THE AJAX WIDGET COMPANY
or HALBERT'S MAIL ORDER
on your life.
on mine, anyway! No, sir. If, quite literally, my
life depended on it, my letter was going to arrive in a plain, white personal-looking
envelope with a real live, honest-to-God, first-class postage stamp, a
typed or handwritten address, no teaser copy, and a corner card that
revealed only (and very discreetly) the sender's return address.
sound very impressive, does it?
with me. You are reading the evolutionary process of some original
conceptual thinking that has resulted in gross sales of untold hundreds
of millions of dollars.
much for the envelope. So far, I had done everything I could (short of
mailing by registered or certified mail) to get my letter delivered and
accepted as a piece of personal mail... and... therefore, I had done
what I could to achieve the primary and most important thing in all of
Direct Mail Land which is...
GOT MY ENVELOPE DELIVERED
I GOT IT OPENED!
that? Are you thinking "what's the big deal?" Listen my friend, as
simple as this sounds, the Number One reason for the financial failure
of most direct mail is because...
IT NEVER GETS DELIVERED and/or NEVER
Aside from making the wrong offer to the wrong list, not getting your
letter delivered or opened is the Numero Uno mistake. Think about this:
What does it matter how sparkling your copy, how compelling your offer,
or how attractive your price if your intended recipient never receives
(or opens) your letter? You know, this simple truth seems to me to be
so self-evident I feel a bit silly being so redundant about it. But,
you know what? I'd rather be redundant than bankrupt and bankrupt is
where a lot of mailers have wound up because of failure to grasp this
simple and "obvious" concept.
about that later. But now, let's say we've got our letter opened. So
what else is there to worry about?
Let's see? Well, what about this? What if my prospect opens what he
thinks is a piece of personal mail... and then... all of a sudden... he
finds out it's not because he sees a color
brochure, a printed order card, a BRE, a rabbit's foot and some kind of
YES-No "hot potato"?
good. Certainly not if my life depended on getting a response. No good
at all. There's just no way I would be willing to risk having my guy
open what he thought was a personal letter and then see all that stuff
and go, "Oh, yuck!"
You know what I decided I would want him to see when he opened that
letter? Actually, it's so unusual I'll bet you'll never guess. And...
unless you're very broad-minded... you'll probably never forgive me for
this kind of anarchistic thinking. Because... what I decided I wanted
my guy to see when he opened that envelope was a (gulp!)... a... a...
I wanted him to see what was, or at least appeared
to be, a real, honest-to-God personal letter.
so, my very first "life or death" mailing contained only two elements:
The rather plain envelope I've already described and a simple one-page
(361 words) letter that had the appearance of a personally typed
say so. That letter generated 7,300,000 cash-with-order customers and
was the wellspring that built a mail order company, (Halbert's) that
eventually employed more than 700 people, 40 of whom were needed just
to make our bank deposits which often consisted of some 20,000 checks
listen. My thinking on what a direct mail package should contain has
changed over the years. For one thing, I have learned how to achieve
that same effect (or, at least a similar effect) by using bulk-rate
stamps and now, I usually include a reply envelope... and most
always... an order form (I hide it, though).
any case, what you have just read is the evolutionary process of how I
developed my A-Pile/B-Pile concept and I am including a more precise
and formal, up-to-date explanation of that concept on the next few
pages of this letter. If you create direct mail yourself, what I
suggest you do is put those particular pages in a file someplace and
re-read them every time you are about to design another mailing. And...
if you pay other people to create direct mail for you... I suggest you
photocopy (just this once, you have my permission)
those pages and give them to your creative person and tell him/her to
consider the concepts contained therein before your next piece is
you ready to get started? Good. You are now about to learn the most
important thing you will ever learn on the subject of direct mail. I
have a similar lesson to teach you about newspaper and magazine
advertising, but that will come later in another letter. Right now, we
will talk only about direct mail.
Professor Halbert is now going to give you his semi-famous
"A-Pile/B-Pile Lecture." It goes like this: Everybody in the world
divides his mail into two piles which I call the A-Pile and the B-Pile.
The A-Pile contains letters that are, (or appear to
be), personal. The B-Pile contains everything else: Bills, catalogs,
brochures, printed announcements, envelopes that obviously contain a
sales message, and so on.
listen up: The most important thing you can ever do when
creating a direct mail promotion is to make sure your letter gets in
why. Everybody always opens all of their A-Pile
mail and only some of their B-Pile mail.
as simple as that. And when you are spending thousands (and sometimes
millions) of dollars to mail a sales message, you want to make damn
sure everybody who receives your letter will at
least open the envelope. You know, this simple truth seems to me to be
so self-evident that I am always amazed when someone wants to argue
with me about it. And, usually, as you might expect, the most vigorous
arguments come from the most "experienced" advertising people. These
people just love to tell me how they always found that B-Pile direct
mail is more cost effective.
are always wrong. You see, they may have sent a personal looking
envelope but usually, as I'll explain later, they forget to eliminate
the "Oh, yuck!" reaction. But first, let's talk about the differences
in the appearance of an A-Pile envelope as opposed to an envelope that
is destined to wind up in the B-Pile.
really quite simple. You see, A-Pile envelopes always look personal.
Not necessarily personal like they came from your Aunt Minnie but, at
least, personal like they were a communication from one real
person to another real person. The best
(most cost-effective) A-Pile envelopes always have a live postage stamp
affixed. They never have teaser copy. They never
immediately reveal by the corner card the material inside contains a
commercial message. They are never addressed by label and they are
seldom oversized or odd shaped.
an example? If so, just look at the envelope this
letter came in. It's a plain white #10 with a typewritten address, a
first-class postage stamp and a corner card that reveals only
the name and address of the sender.
With Awards For Graphic Design;
Up With Response!
let's talk about B-Pile envelopes. What do they look like? You already
know. You've seen thousands of them. They are usually label addressed
and they contain teaser copy, award winning graphics, photographs,
YES-NO windows, windows with a fake check showing through, "Miami Vice
Colors", a printed bulk-rate indicia or else a printed first-class
indicia (the stupidest mistake in direct mail), tearstrips, and any and
everything else a misinformed direct mail "expert" can think of that
will (he thinks) help get his envelope opened.
bear with me. I want you to imagine, in your mind's eye, that a very
busy man (or woman) is going to his mailbox and there... lo and
behold... he finds a double handful of B-Pile mail. Can you see it? Can
you see that unbelievable "Collection of creativity"? Can you see all
those pastel-colored window envelopes? See the one that says, "Free Oxygen To Everyone Who
Can you see the one that says, "The
Most Important Collection Of Books Ever Offered By TIME-LIFE"? Can you see the
one that has (oh boy!) three windows? Can you see
that fat one which contains enough printed material to make up the
first volume of the Encyclopedia Brittanica? (Come
to think of it, that one did come from the Brittanica.)
Can you see the one with a photo of a starving child begging for food?
Can you see the one some idiot tried to personalize by computer
printing (on the envelope!) some cute little
message that says, "Here's
good news for the Halbert family and everybody else who lives close to
8033 Sunset Boulevard"?
look at that mess!
you guess what happens when a busy man (or woman) goes to his mailbox
and finds such a collection? What is the first thing he will do with
all this stuff? Go ahead and guess. I bet you get it wrong.
let's find out. Did you guess the first thing a person will do with all
this stuff is throw it away? If you did, you are wrong. You see, the
first thing a person will do with it is sort through it to see if he
has received any A-Pile mail.
that, then he throws it away!
before I go on, I want to admit he will not always throw all of it
away. If he happens to spot an envelope that catches his eye... and...
if he happens, at that very moment, to be just dying
to buy another magazine subscription or self-help book... or... if he
has just been going crazy waiting for a piece of
mail from the Columbia Record Club, then maybe, just maybe, he will
open one of these envelopes and see what it is all about.
don't count on it. The percentages are against you.
if getting your letter into the A-Pile is the most important thing you
can do, what is the next most important thing you can do? The answer is
simple. The next most important thing is to make sure your letters stays
in the A-Pile.
what I mean. Suppose your prospective customer gets an envelope which
looks like one of the A-Pile envelopes (like the one this
letter came in) that I have already described. Listen: There is no
doubt such an envelope will be opened. It looks personal, it has a
first-class stamp, it does not obviously contain a sales message...
and... all in all, it is an excellent example of a personal looking
envelope. However, what happens when he does open the envelope and he
finds a bunch of material that looks like the creation of it has set up
some graphic artist for life (not to mention his sleazebag
brother-in-law who owns a printing business)?
know what I'm talking about, don't you? I'm talking about the big
colorful brochures, YES-NO tokens, lurid, oversized order forms,
ingenious award winning "hot potatoes", whistles, bells, kazoos, and a
personal message from President Reagan.
will happen? I'm sure you already know: What will happen is our
prospect will say, "Oh, yuck!"... and... most likely... he will now
throw the promotion away!
good. Here is a better way. I want you to imagine what will happen when
your prospect opens the A-Pile envelope... and instead of seeing "Graphics on Parade"... he sees what
appears to be a simple, typed letter and another
envelope that is plain, white and sealed and has typed on it:
Open This Envelope
As You Have Read My Letter.
will happen? It's easy to figure out. Your prospect will begin reading
the letter to find out what this is all about. And then, if you are
skillful enough, your letter will grab your prospect's attention, it
will hold his interest, it will whet his appetite for your goods or
services... and then... at the end... it will refer him to the sealed
envelope and tell him to open it for more information and descriptive
what will he find when he opens the sealed envelope? Nothing special,
really. You see, what he will find is all the same stuff (order card,
brochure, reply envelope, etc.) that was in many of the B-Pile packages
I have previously described.
what is different, what is so very different, is when
he was exposed to this material. It's a matter of timing. Selling is
like seduction. If you ask a woman to go to bed with you, whether or
not she says "yes" is largely a matter of when you
ask her. If you ask her immediately, as soon as you've been introduced,
most likely she will think you are a creep and tell you to get lost.
However, if you wait a while, wait until she gets to know you a little,
wait until you've wined and dined her a few times, wait until she's had
a chance to warm up to you, to discover you are, indeed, a fine fellow,
then, my friend, your chances of getting a "yes" for an answer are
much, much better.
it is with selling. Any kind of selling. It doesn't matter if it is
door-to-door, direct mail, television, radio, newspaper ads or
whatever; if you take the trouble to warm up your prospect, to seduce
him a little before you pop the big question ("will you buy my
goods?"), then your closing rate will be much, much higher.
Be A Masochist!
know, I know. There's an old joke about a guy who immediately asked
every woman he meets to go to bed with him, and when his friends ask
him if he doesn't get slapped a lot, he replies, "Sure I do, but I get
lucky a lot, too!"
in my opinion, that guy is much more of a masochist than he needs to
be. You don't have to go around getting slapped all the time in order
to get a little romance in your life... and... in direct mail, you
don't have to settle for the high rate of rejections to sales most
MILLION DOLLAR EXAMPLE!
Here is a true story which will illustrate my point. Not long ago, I
was asked to go to las Vegas to help a guy who was in trouble. The guy
was a nephew of Colonel Sanders, and he had inherited a lot of Colonel
Chicken's money and he had invested it in a lot of high-priced vitamins
he was unable to sell. The vitamins were stored in a warehouse and he
and his partners wanted to know if I could figure out a way to sell
them by mail.
wasn't very interested. I was very, very interested, however, in a
certain promotion which was being mailed by one of the men at that
meeting, and I told this man I would like to redo his mailing piece for
wasn't interested. He said his mailing was already working. He said he
was mailing between 300,000 and 1,200,000 letters every month and he
was making a good profit.
know what I told him? I told him his mailing was working in
spite of how horrible it was. I told him he had obviously
discovered an appeal that was so "right on target" to the people he was
mailing to that even a really terribly conceived mailing piece would
work. I also told him that if he would let me redo his mailing package
and give it the A-Pile treatment, he would hardly be able to believe
agreed to let me try. He wrote me a big deposit check (I love
that part!) and we made a deal. Then I got back on the plane and flew
back to L.A. and, before the wheels touched down, only 45 minutes
later, I was finished. I hardly rewrote the promotion at all; I just
cleaned it up a little so it flowed a little more smoothly. But, of
course, the main thing I did was reformat his
promotion. I made sure his envelope looked personal so it would get
into the A-Pile and I made sure when the envelope was opened the
promotion still had an A-Pile look and the prospect would be sure to,
at least, begin to read the sales letter.
what were the results? Does this stuff really work or is it all theory?
of this is theory. Everything I have told you has been proven by
careful testing. What has happened in this case is that promotion,
(using the same sales pitch and almost the exact same words), is
pulling in approximately $96,000.00 more every
over one million extra dollars per year in return for 45 minutes' work.
closed. End of lecture.
Thank you for reading that last section. And now, with your permission,
I shall continue. Let us go back to where I was earlier in this letter
before I subjected you to my A-Pile/B-Pile lecture. As you will recall,
I was flat broke trying to reason with a pig-headed wife who considered
running water and electricity more important than making another direct
mail test. So much for her. In any case, after I figured out my "life
or death" letter should at least "look" personal, I decided it would be
just wonderful if, somehow, I could give my sales letters the
appearance of having actually been individually typed and that's when I
pay attention; this is going to be fun reading! O.K., now back in those
days, computer letters were just starting to catch the attention of the
direct marketing community. The first ones were just awful. All the
letters were in upper case type and they looked more like a DECLARATION OF WAR
than a personal letter. But then, a bit later, a genius named Leo
Yochim got hold of the first upper and lower case IBM print chain and
started massaging computer programs in such a way as to eventually
develop a computer letter that looked a lot like a real typed letter.
guess what? Those first computer letters would, on the average,
increase response by 300%!
there was a catch. Actually, there were two catches. One was very few
people knew how to create those computer letters and the other was it
cost a fortune to do the programming and generate the letters.
did not bode well for a nerd (me) who couldn't even pay his utility
remember, my frame of mind back then was that I was going to create a
"do-or-die" direct mail package and that concept does not lend itself
well to a letter that begins "Dear Sir" or "Dear Occupant" or "Dear
one fine day, I found myself reading a newspaper story that changed my
entire life. It was about a little old lady who had found a neat way to
supplement her social security income. What she would do is, she would
go to her local library and pick out a surname and then do some
research and find out if there was ever a coat-of-arms (family crest)
that was recorded with that name.
if there was, she would make a black and white drawing of it and have
that drawing printed on a postcard. Then she would mail her postcard to
everybody who had that surname who lived in her county. The postcard
would say she had discovered a coat-of-arms had been recorded with the
recipient's name and this is what the design looked like in black and
white. She also went on to say the coat-of-arms was even more dramatic
in color and would offer to hand paint one for the reader for a
relatively modest fee.
wow! My mind started racing. "Look," I said to myself. "Gary, here is a
way to make FAKE computer letters! What I'll do is get a bunch of
telephone books from a bunch of big cities and then I'll pull out all
the Andersons and Bakers and Halberts and so on, and then I'll type one
letter that starts out 'Dear Mr. Anderson,' and then I'll weave in that
name all throughout the copy."
I did, and it worked!
started out with phone books, but later, after I had a little money, my
partner (Dennis Haslinger) and I made an arrangement with Reuben
Donnelly in Oak Park, Illinois (Bob Harter was our rep back then; I
wonder whatever happened to him?) and here's what we had Donnelly do:
We had them computer pass their entire file (that cost about $70,000
back then) and put all those names into alphabetical order. By the way,
you know what is ironic? They had just taken them OUT of alphabetical
order because of the new postal regulations that required you to keep
your list in ZIP order!
once the file was in alphabetical order, we'd have them kick out 20
surnames or so and have them address envelopes to all those names and
keep each pile of envelopes addressed with certain surnames separate
from the other "surname piles."
say one of the names was Anderson. O.K., what we'd do is we'd type one
"Anderson letter" and then have it offset printed... and then... we
would have a thousand or so FAKE computer letters.
And... of course... we'd then insert
all those "Anderson letters" into
the "Anderson envelopes" and mail them out... and then... we took in
And MILLIONS And
MILLIONS And MILLIONS And
MILLIONS Of Dollars!
ever since, good old semi-handsome Gary has been able to pay his