North of Jewfish Creek
Dear Friend & Subscriber,
A good man has died.
His name is Bobby. And, in this letter,
I am not going to write very much about him. Perhaps I will
in a future newsletter. But, not now.
That's because right now I feel I'm too close
to the subject of his death to write about it. I met him a few
times but, I can't say I was really ever close to him. However,
I am very close to one of his daughters. That would be my #1
I've had some experience with people who have
had terminal cancer.
In his case, I didn't expect he would live long
enough to see his granddaughter's wedding which was scheduled
for last August. He did live long enough to be there though.
After that, I knew he couldn't possibly
survive until Thanksgiving. When he survived to Thanksgiving,
I knew it was certain he couldn't possibly continue on until
Christmas. But Christmas came and he again proved me wrong.
Bobby outlived his doctors' and nurses' expectations
of never seeing the New Year. His mind and body continued enduring
till almost Superbowl Sunday.
I think all of this is more evidence of a fact
I sometimes am reluctant to admit. That fact is, it seems my
mother was correct when she named me "Gary" instead of "God".
A brief story: At this time last year, one of
my in-laws was diagnosed with fatal cancer of the liver. He
had a rare blood type and it was extremely unlikely a donor
could be found in time to save his life. Even if by some miracle
a donor was found, the chances of this man living a healthy
life (or just plain living) were not very favorable.
This is a man for whom almost everybody who knew
him was already emotionally prepared for his death which almost
certainly would occur within a few months. At the same time
he was diagnosed with liver cancer, Theresa's father was a strapping
230-pound man seemingly in perfect health.
As it has come to pass, my in-law DID receive
a new liver from someone with the same blood type, his body
seems to have accepted it well, and he is now leading a healthy
life, which includes running several miles a day.
And, as I said at the beginning of this letter,
that strapping 230-pound man, Theresa's father, is no longer
If there is one last thing I am certain about
in today's world it is...
Anyone who thinks they can predict the future
for ten years, one year, one month, one day, one hour, or even
one minute will, sooner or later, have fate prove him (or her)
to be a fool.
Remember the words "yesterday is dead and gone"
and "tomorrow's out of sight"? They were true when they
were written about 40 years ago, they were true 4,000 years
ago, and they are still true today. So, if you have someone
you love or are fond of (or at least you appreciate) I suggest
you let them know NOW. Next week, tomorrow, or even this evening
might prove to be too late.
There is a lot to Bobby Canady's story but, I'm
going to sum up what I know about him in one word...
As I said, perhaps I'll write more about him later
but, not now.
You see, Theresa temporarily moved out of State
to be by her father's side and devoted her time 24/7 to be his
nurse. So, there are hundreds of e-mails, faxes, letters and
phone calls which have gone unanswered. And since we used another
service for fulfillment,there have also been some mix-ups in
orders. Because "Yours Truly" is so dysfunctional, so many everyday
things have simply gone by the wayside.
But, now that Theresa is back at her desk, we're
going to start digging out of this mess and, after a while,
perhaps we'll have our world back in order.
I want to ask you a favor: If you have an e-mail
which hasn't been responded to, or any other kind of communication
which hasn't been answered, or any other business detail not
responded to by my office, please do NOT contact us immediately.
Do NOT ask us to reply and correct this situation right
now. The favor I want to ask is... give us two or three weeks
"breathing room" to get to where we can see a little daylight.
Then, perhaps we can, once again, begin dealing with our daily
workload with some semblance of timeliness.
Enough of that. Let's now write a newsletter.
The subject of this one is...
Do you think you know a lot about money? Maybe
you do. Maybe you don't. But let's see if any of the following
facts are in any way surprising to you:
- More of our fantasies are about money... than sex.
- If we could have any luxury in the world (and money didn't
matter) more of us would choose to spend money on a butler
and a maid than anything else.
- 90% of Americans who own pets buy them Christmas gifts.
- Money is the leading cause of disagreements in marriages.
- 65% of Americans would live on a deserted island all by
themselves for an entire year for $1,000,000.
- For $10,000,000 most of us would do almost ANYTHING!
Including abandoning our family and friends and our church.
A very high percentage of us would, for that same amount of
money, change our race or sex. And, 1 in every 14, would even
murder someone for ten million bucks.
What's really strange about this is, the statistics remain
the same whether it's ten million dollars all the way down
to three million. For three million bucks, most of us would
do the same horrible things we would do for ten million. But,
guess what? Few of us would do these things for a "measly"
- 92% of us would rather be rich than find the love of our
- Here's a weighty one: Money (or the lack thereof) is
the biggest stress inducer in the lives of Americans. We worry
more about money than our marriages, our health, or even who's
going to win the Superbowl Game or come out on top in the
latest Survivor TV show.
- If you get your money out of a Hitachi ATM machine in Japan,
it will be laundered. The way they do it is, they briefly
press the bills between rollers at high enough temperatures
to kill most bacteria.
- Women have very fixed ideas on how much they are willing
to spend on a bra. 38.3% of women won't spend $30 for a bra.
28.4% won't spend $50. 10% would pay as much as $75. And,
only 3.5% would shell out $100. But, you know what? Almost
20% of women say they would pay almost anything
for a bra. This is because they consider (and I guess so do
a few men) that the contents of what those bras are encasing
is of extremely high-value.
- Nearly half of the people who sell their houses with furniture
included will take all the light bulbs out of all the lamps
when they vacate the premises.
- Most people won't bend over to pick up money lying on
the sidewalk unless it's at least a dollar.
- Most Americans think pennies are a pain in the ass and the
U.S. Mint should stop making them.
- There is about 405 billion dollars in circulation.
Only 32 million of that amount is counterfeit. That
means, the percentage of counterfeit money in America is .0079%.
And, $20 bills are more often counterfeited than $100 bills.
- Do people care if their bills are crisp? Indeed, they do.
Fresh, crisp, clean bills are considered much more valuable
than those which are old, wrinkled and dirty.
I once sent a 'dollar bill thank you' letter to a guy who
sent a sincere letter back to me bitching the free $1 bill
I sent him was wrinkled instead of crisp as I had described
in the letter.
- Let's flip a coin and try to guess whether it will come
up heads or tails. Three times as many people guess 'heads'
- Here's one I personally think really sucks: One out of every
four Americans believe their best chance of getting rich is
by playing the lottery.
- How about this one for a shocking fact: 5% of lottery
ticket buyers buy 51% of all tickets sold. (Trust me, none
of these people belong to the "Einsteins of America Society".)
- A staggering 74% of us are influenced by how much we can
win in a lottery as opposed to the odds of us winning.
- That's a good thing for the Government because the odds
of winning a lottery jackpot are about 10 million to
- A person who drives 10 miles to buy a lottery ticket is
3 times more likely to be killed in a car accident while driving
to buy the ticket... than... he is to win the jackpot.
- Sunday newspaper coupon inserts are the second-most read
section of the paper, after the front page.
- Few people know it but, you can buy single-disease insurance.
- Only 6% of people in America regularly buy clothes tailor
made just for them.
- Here's one that's really important: 63% of us decide NOT
to buy a product advertised on the Internet... because...
we think the shipping and handling charges add too much to
- Eight times as many Americans would rather use an ATM
than deal with a real live teller.
- This one's going to blow your mind: 83% of Americans
still pay with checks instead of credit cards!
- Almost 30% of us say we would need 3 million smackaroos
to feel rich. This ties in with the fact most of us would
do anything for as little as $3 million... but... not nearly
as many of us would do those identical things for a measly
$2 million. (Hey, here's your chance to take advantage of
that situation. If you only want to pay $2 million to have
something done, ask me if I'll do it. The chances are, believe
it or not, I WILL DO IT.)
- Here's another fact which is really, really important: 80%
of Americans say giving personal information (especially their
credit card information) over the Internet scares the living
shit out of them.
- Two-thirds of Americans say they wouldn't let their spouse
spend the night and have sex with another person for a million
dollars. Many of these people are liars. There's a big difference
being asked if they would do it for a million dollars... as
opposed to... handing them a paper sack containing the million
fungolas and simply saying, "Here, you can have this if
you'll let me sleep with your sweetie tonight."
- The average wedding in America costs a staggering $20,000.00.
- More than one-third of American women consider money
more important than good sex to the success of a marriage.
- According to Employee Benefits Research Institute 96% of
all people who have jobs right now won't be eligible for their
full Social Security benefits when they reach age 65.
- When it comes to houses, more than anything else, people
want a state-of-the-art kitchen.
- When people shop for a car, what they want more than anything
else is reliability for the best possible price.
- One of the best ways to raise money for a charity is
to have a free dinner for a lot of people and have an empty
envelope tucked under their plate... for the express purpose...
of making whatever size donation they want.
- People tip more on sunny days than they do on dreary days.
- More than 80,000,000 people call the I.R.S. Information
Hotline phone number every year. One-third of those calls
go unanswered. And, according to the Treasury Department itself,
47% of the answers the 'get-through' callers receive are incorrect.
- Almost two out of three people have modified their financial
behavior because of their fears.
- Almost three times as many people who live in the South
worry about losing their jobs as compared to people who live
in the Midwest.
- Which would you rather do: Shop till you drop... or... have
For men, this is a no-brainer.
However, more women would actually rather have an unlimited
shopping spree than spend a weekend with a fabulous lover.
In fact, the #1 favorite fantasy of women is to have a blank
check to shop at their favorite store.
The favorite fantasy of men (at least in my opinion) is what
we would like to DO to the sales girl... rather than... what
we would like to buy from her.
Why am I so focused on money this month? Plain
and simple... because...
I Need Some!
Seven months of trying to function without my
Assistant taking care of my business has put a severe dent in
my financial situation. I think maybe in the near future, I'm
going to give a low-priced seminar which will be so tightly
focused on making money, a lot of people (at least if they are
not out buying bras) will pay me to attend. I'm still mulling
it over and if I decide to do it, I'll write to you about it
Gary C. Halbert
||"Cheaper Than Three Million"
By the way, the somewhat "Halbertized" facts in this
newsletter were inspired from a book by Bernice Kanner
titled "Are You Normal About Money?" She's written
a number of other interestingly-titled books and I suggest
you put her name into your search engine and see what
you come up with. I'm sure there's going to be something
you're going to want to buy.
This is one of my rare newsletters which does not give
my readers a clear course of action. Rather, it is meant
to jump-start their sluggish brains. And I'll make you
a bet: I bet a few people reading this newsletter e-mail
me and tell me one or more of the facts in this issue
jump-started their brains with a great idea... that...
made huge amounts of fungolas for them.
Except for a guy named David Allard. I don't think
there's anything I can do to get his sluggish brain
going. And I'll tell you more about him in an upcoming
Copyright © 2004 Gary C. Halbert. All Rights Reserved.