South Of Jewfish Creek
Dear Friend &
It may sound grandiose to say so... but... I
honestly believe this issue of my newsletter is going to
change the world.
Five years from now, ten years from now, even
100 or more years from now, people are going to reflect back
on the publication of this issue and realize... this
was the day the greatest marketing breakthrough of the 20th
Came Out Of The Closet!
I wish I could take credit for this
breakthrough. I can't. It was discovered by someone else.
However, I can take credit, I believe, for being the
first major marketing guru to recognize the importance of this
Enough foreplay. Let's get down to it. To help
you understand the incredible importance (and money-making
potential) of this breakthrough, I want you to image
something. Let's pretend you are someone who is selling
something via direct response advertising. It could be
anything: golf clubs, diet pills, perfume, socket wrenches or
whatever. But... just for the heck of it, let's say you're
selling some sort of "paper and ink" product. It
could be a newsletter. Or perhaps a book. Or maybe a report on
how to lose weight or lower your golf score... or...?
Just to keep us rolling here, let's you and I
mutually decide your product is a report on how to buy
real estate without cash or credit.
Onward. Let's also say you've decided to use
the 2-step method to sell your real estate report. Your plan
is to run a lead-generating ad in high-circulation, national
publications such as Parade, Modern Maturity, Reader's Digest, National Enquirer and so
on. Here's what your lead-generating ad might look like:
Report Reveals How To Buy
Real Estate Anywhere In The U.S. Without
Using Cash, Credit Or Bank Financing!
get your free copy, simply call my secretary (her name
is Betty) and give her your name and address. You can
call anytime Monday through Friday from 9:00 a.m. to
5:00 p.m. East Coast Time and the number is...
With me so far? Of course you are, right?
So... we mush on. Now, here's approximately
what it will cost to run that ad in each of the publications
Whoa! That was like a bucket of ice water
thrown in the face, wasn't it? Geez, we're spending almost
$280,000... just to get our leads!
Oh well, takes money to make money, don't it?
But... we ain't done spending money yet. Hell,
we've hardly gotten started. Our next expense is paying for
all those incoming telephone calls. That expense will include
the 800# toll charges, the salaries of all the people we need
to answer the phones, our overhead, etc. Let's go easy on
ourselves and say we're taking these calls for only a buck
($1.00) per call.
And... since the combined total circulation of
all those publications where we are running our
lead-generating ad is 79,250,000, let's guess we'll take in a
total of about some 396,250 calls. (By the way, that's 1/2 of
1% of the total circulation.)
Hmm? 396,250 calls at $1.00 apiece is going to
set us back another $396,250. Ain't I good at math?
But hey, this is so much fun... LET'S SPEND
How? That's easy. The next thing we gotta do
is mail a sales letter to all those people who phoned in. If
we are very, very careful... we can do this for about
fifty cents per letter. And thus... we've spent another
Leapin' lizards! This is getting to be a
nightmare, isn't it?
But... we gotta spend... MORE! MORE! MORE! For
one thing, we've got to pay to have our report printed. For
sure we can get that done for about $2.00 apiece. But, we've
also got to pay for a container to ship those reports in,
postage, the cost to address the mailing package, the cost of
storing the reports until they are sold and so on.
Without putting too fine a point on it, let's
say our cost of filling each of our orders is about $5.00.
Now, let's crunch some imaginary (but
realistic) numbers and see what the bottom-line of this
campaign is going to be.
Let's say our sales letter generated a 6%
response which means we pulled in 23,775 orders. At $5.00
apiece to fill those orders, our fulfillment cost is $118,875.
Add that to all our other costs and our total gross expenses
And, since our selling price for our report is
$42.00 ($39.00 + $3.00 S&H) our total gross income is
$998,550 which means, after all is said and done, our net
profit before taxes is...
Not much for all that work and expense, is it?
Stay with me. Let's see if we can make this
dealybop just a tad more exciting. To begin with, let us say,
just for the heck of it, that...
All Those Publications Let
Us Run Our Lead-Generating
Ad Totally Free Of Cost!
Wow! That saved us $279,100 right from the git-go,
Let us further say, the phone company decided
not to charge us anything for our incoming 800#
calls... and.. our employees have agreed to work for us FREE!
Yahoo! We were shelling out $1.00 for every
call we took in but now, since we don't gotta pay nothing
(forget it, Miss Books; I make a helluva lot more writing my
fractured English than you ever did teaching the formal
version at Barberton High) that means... we saved another...
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Now for the cost of mailing our sales letters.
For some crazy reason, all the people who called our 800# got
together and decided to pay all our printing, addressing and
postage expenses. So now, the cost of mailing our sales letter
Nada. Zilch. Nothing.
Which means, Jellybean, we've saved yet
But wait! We still gotta pay to have our
reports printed and shipped, don't we?
NO! NO! NO!
You see, all our customers, in a frenzied fit
of generosity, have agreed to pay all our printing and
shipping expenses... in addition... to what they have paid to buy the report.
Let's see. What we got here is NO advertising
costs!... NO costs for our incoming calls!... NO costs for
mailing our sales letters!... NO fulfillment costs!
Hmm? Let's take a look at our new balance
$ - 0 -
Just a dream, right? Nothing but a fantasy,
ain't that so? An impossible scenario, huh?
Oh yeah? Hang on to your hats, chil'n
The Hot New Marketing Breakthrough
I'm About To Reveal To You
Makes The Above "Dream Scenario"
An Everyday Reality!
Do I have your attention?
Good. Here's the scoop: One of my closest
friends is Mike Enlow, a world-famous private detective, who
lives in a cabin on the Boguechitto River in the backwoods of
Mississippi. Mike has grown weary of normal P.I. work so, some
time ago, he decided to use his investigative talents to
unearth new or little-know... but
effective... advertising techniques.
And, in due time, he discovered something that
blew his mind... and mine!
Hark unto me. It appears, about eight years
ago, a man in California wrote a mystery novel. He then
"uploaded" his book onto a number of computer
bulletin boards or BBS's.
He also uploads a little "teaser" ad
which encouraged people to "download" and read his
Many people did. Many, many people did.
And there they were, reading away, really getting into it.
They downloaded three chapters and they couldn't
wait to download the rest of it to find out how the book
ends. But, when they got back to their computers, guess what
message popped up on the screen?
The rest of the text in this file has been encoded. If you
want the password to decode the text, call (000) 000-0000 and
use your MasterCard, Visa or American Express to pay for
What happened? Well, many of those people who
downloaded the first
three chapters of his book just
had to get the rest of it so... they called and paid for
the "password." The result?
This Guy Sold 100,000
Copies Of A Blankety-Blank
Mystery Novel In Just
No advertising costs. No fulfillment costs. No
nothing. He sold 100,000 books and... it was all
What if that had been a diet book? What
if he had done that this year when there are 100 times
as many computer bulletin boards as there were in 1985?
Why doesn't he do it again? Probably because
he's a computer nerd with no "marketing mindset"
Like this next guy who did something similar
on a local BBS just a few months ago. What this guy did
is, he uploaded a sales letter on his local computer
bulletin board and 100 people downloaded his letter... and...
50 of those people gave him an
What did he do next? Nothing. He went back to
some other academic computer nonsense.
What would you or I have done? I don't know
about you, Cupcake, but, if it were me... and... I got a 50%
response from my sales letter (which cost me nothing to
deliver)... I'd want to know... are there any other computer
bulletin boards onto which I can upload my sales letter?
Turns out there are. In fact, there are now...
Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo!
More: So it comes to pass, that Mike Enlow,
after learning about the adventures of the above two
gentlemen... well... Mike decides to try a little experiment
on his own. What he does is, he uploads a little
"teaser" ad onto one (1) underground bulletin board
"P.I. Secrets Revealed"
And what happened? Not much, just that...
148,710 PEOPLE DOWNLOADED A FULL ISSUE OF HIS NEWSLETTER
AND... THEY... PAID TO DO IT!
My God, do you know what it would be worth to me
to have almost 150,000 people read an issue of this
newsletter without me having to pay a penny to get them to
I feel faint.
Now listen: Not all computer boards will let
you upload a message free of charge. One of the biggest is
CompuServe and, when Ted Nicholas wanted to run an ad on that
huge BBS, he really had to pay through the nose. In fact,
CompuServe soaked Ted for a whopping...
That's right, he only paid a lousy thirteen
bucks and he got back many, many, MANY
TIMES what he spent!
Hey Buckwheat, are you starting to suspect
we're on to something here?
Here's what you need:
"teaser" ad saying something like "Free
Report Reveals blah, blah."
||A free report
which is really a "camouflaged" sales
book, newsletter or some other "paper and
Here's what you do:
||You upload all
of the above onto one or more computer bulletin
Here's what your customers do:
||They access a
computer bulletin board and scroll through it until
they see your "teaser" lead-generating ad.
||They read the
teaser ad and thus, sufficiently teased, they download
the text file which the ad refers them to.
||They read the
text file they have downloaded which is, in reality, a
sales letter, disguised as a report.
the "sales letter" they've downloaded, they
decide they want your report (or whatever) it
describes and they call your office (or some answering
service) and charge $39.00 (or whatever) to get the
"password" which enables them to download
your report (or whatever).
the bulletin board once again, punch in the magic
password... and then... on their own nickel... they
download your report or whatever it is you are
PAY ATTENTION HERE!
Look what you've eliminated. There is:
COST for running the teaser ad!
COST for printing and mailing your sales letter!
COST for printing and shipping your report!
COST for any inventory!
COST for any office!
COST for employees!
And guess what else? You don't even have to
own... or know how to use...
a computer to get in on all this.
That's the beauty of it. You see, there isn't
a town in the U.S. that doesn't have hundreds of
"computer nerds" (many of them high school kids) who
can do all the "mechanics" of this computer stuff
Is there more you need to know?
Yes, there is. You need to know how to find all
of those 60,000 computer bulletin boards. You need to know exactly
how to word (it's a little tricky) your teaser ad so it will be
accepted by the owners of the bulletin boards. You need to know
how to word your sales letter so it is perceived as a report.
(Easy when you know the secret.) You need to know exactly
what types of products can be sold most profitably on these BBS's.
You need to know how to encrypt (scramble) the text of your paper
and ink product. You need to know how to automatically
change your password every day and how to do it via remote control.
You need to know a certain secret of processing your credit card
orders which will make sure you stay in business. You need to
know... oh heck...
There's Really A
You Need To Know!
None of it is difficult. It's just there are
certain "rules of the road" you must
understand if you want to play in this game!
How do you learn these rules of the road? One
way would be to stumble around learning this stuff all by
yourself. When you get finished, you'll be a bit bloody and
perhaps five years older... but... you'll have not spent much
Another thing you could do is invent a time
machine, reverse time for a few months and attend either my
"Birthday Bash" or my more recent early August
But, if you don't want to waste five years
and/or you don't know how to invent a time machine... well
then, you could, uh...
Buy The Tapes Of
My Last Seminar!
Wherein, my child, you'll learn everything
you need to know to make a fortune from this dealybop I've
just outlined for you.
Enclosed with this letter is a brown envelope.
Inside that envelope is a description of what you will learn
by listening to and watching the tapes of the seminar that
just ended a few days ago. Also, in that envelope, is an audio
tape you can listen to. When you do, you'll hear live segments
of two of the most exciting parts of my August seminar.
And, of course, the letter in the brown
envelope will also tell you how much I'm gonna soak you (less
than you'd guess) for the tapes and how to order.
Let me be serious here for a moment. What I've
just revealed to you is the most exciting marketing
breakthrough of this century. However, if you want to take a
ride on this baby, you'd better get on board now!
Here's why: Remember when "976
numbers" first came out? Back then, Gloria Leonard,
publisher of High
Society Magazine was raking in over
a quarter million dollars... A DAY... from her 976 calls.
No more. Now there's lots of regulatory
interference, competition, hassles with the telephone
Don't get me wrong. You can still profitably
play the 976# or 900# game but...
The Glory Days Are Over!
Same with TV infomercials. In the 80's I
worked with a TV producer named Hal Morris who would sometimes
shoot three infomercials... a
day... for little more than pocket change.
Plus, airtime was dirt-cheap and there was
very little competition. He almost couldn't lose... and... he
didn't. He made...
It's not so easy anymore. There's mucho
competition. The cost of airtime is out-of-sight and... the
"Feds" watch every infomercial like a hawk.
Yes, you can still make money in infomercials
but, once again...
The Glory Days Are Over!
The same pattern is going to happen with
computer bulletin board marketing. Four years from now, you'll
still be able to make money with this form of marketing but...
||It's going to
be highly regulated!
to be a ton of restrictions imposed on you!
||It's going to
cost 10 to 100 times as much as it does now because
the bulletin board owners are going to wise up and
start charging an arm and a leg to all
"information vendors" such as yourself!
But now? Right now... and probably for about
the next 18 months...
You Can Run Like Crazy
With No Interference Or Competition
And... If You Hustle... You Can Become
Rich! Rich! Rich! Rich!
(very, very quickly)
Rip open that envelope. Read that letter.
Order the tapes.
Get In On This!
Gary C. Halbert
worry if you don't currently have a paper and
Simply because part of what you will learn from the
seminar tapes is how to get all the paper and ink
products you could ever want...
Copyright © 2003 Gary C. Halbert. All Rights