North of Jewfish Creek

Dear Friend and Subscriber,


I work out now with a trainer.       

      Six days a week.  Everyday but Sunday.  I do road work on my treadmill and in the park near my apartment.  I pump iron, endure stretching exercises, let my trainer torture me with a medicine ball and take more illegal steroids than Barry Bonds.  (That's not true Dimwit.)

       A few days ago, after finishing my workout, I went to a small diner and ate three steak sandwiches.  After that, I was overcome with the desire to hurt somebody.  I mean bloody their nose, blacken their eyes and kick them in the balls.

       You ever have that happen to you?  You ever became enraged for no reason whatsoever?  I decided it would be a good idea to pound on the young musclehead a few feet away from me in the diner.  Then, it hit me.  I suddenly realized that if I went after him, the bastard would probably fight back!

      I hate that part.  When they fight back.  I'd truly kick a lot of ass if I could find a steady supply of people who wouldn't fight back.

       Oh well.  My mood instantly evaporated.  I gave the musclehead a friendly greeting, tipped the waitress and left the restaurant with no broken bones or bruises.

       What was that all about?  I really don't know.  I haven't a clue why that sudden rage overcame me.  Plus, I don 't have a clue why I'm writing about it.

       So, I'll stop.  I'll go off in another tangent.

       Listen, you ever wonder how many people want me to allow them to write about their product or service in my newsletter?  I can tell you, it's a bunch.  Hundreds of people want to get a recommendation from me.

I turn almost all of them down.

       But, I do make exceptions.  Like when I allowed Scott (Mongo) Haines to tell you about his truly excellent copywriting course.

       Well, I'm gonna do it again.  This time it will be one of my best friends and Master copywriter, John Carlton.  I think you'll enjoy reading about what he has to say.  For one thing, you'll get an inside look into one of the outrageous adventures John and I shared together.  Not only that, what he has to offer is of enormous value!

      Anyway, I'm gonna let him take it from here.  So...

 Here's Johnny!

From: John Carlton

          The most ripped-off copywriter on the Web…


            I just now hung up the phone after another marathon gab-fest with my good friend Gary Halbert… and he asked me to write this little note to you.

            So, while snow pummels my hovel here in the comfy bosom of the Sierras -- a continent away from where Gary basks in tropical warmth -- I’m gonna let you in on a big damn secret.

            Namely… almost everything Gary has been telling you over the years …

Is True.

            I know.  I was there for much of the mayhem, chaos and adventure. 

Watching, participating, sometimes rescuing… and always, always learning.  (The stories I can’t vouch for are mostly about his past sex life.  I’m pretty sure he’s exaggerating, or at the very least deluded.)

My years hanging out with Halbert were an astonishing ride.  Wealth, fame, disaster, discovery and one amazing marketing adventure after another.

            It will truly be a shame if I go to that Big Ad Agency In The Sky before he does, because I won’t get to write that shocking biographical expose I’ve been threatening him with for a decade. 

And, despite the fact I’m over 13 years younger, I wouldn’t bet on him going first, either -- the man has the health and determination of a prime bull.  He still has more piss and vinegar in him that most twenty-something’s I know.

            I think the bastard is gonna outlive us all, just for spite.

Anyway, what I have to share with you here is vastly important for anyone who’s been following Gary… and who is just itching to finally dive into your own entrepreneurial adventure of hitting it rich… or to put your existing biz on hyper-overdrive and finally start sucking up the major fungolas that have been eluding you.

            In other words… if you’ll let me… I’m gonna offer to deliver the kick in the butt you require to finally put your life and your business on the fast track to attaining the kind of cash-overloaded… pleasure-filled… and excitement-guaranteed success you DON’T deserve.

            No one is truly worthy of the capitalistic wet-dream now available to those who bother to learn the insider secrets, and put them to work.  It’s just too lavish and over-the-top wonderful.

            Still, it really can be yours.  If you want it. 

            Here’s the story:  Gary’s gonna hate me for bringing up age, because we’re both piling up the years.  The bad part of being a veteran businessman is that you can feel a bit cheated that so much time has slipped by.  (No matter how much raw adventure you’ve packed into each day.)

            But the good part is that our experience and knowledge -- both in business and in living life large -- is so vast and deep, we never need to justify our position as teachers. 

We have the goods.  We’re the real thing.

There are lots and lots of wannabes out there pretending to have the savvy of a hardened veteran… but in truth, they’ve never been through a recession, let alone an entire business cycle.

            This experience stuff becomes more and more critical as the world changes around us.    

            The bottom line of your quest for wealth and fame will always and forever be your ability to craft a killer sales pitch.  No matter what business you’re in, and no matter what you’re selling. 

            And the reality of our world is…

The Technology Of Delivering That Pitch Will Always Change,

And Change Abruptly.

You can be the hottest whiz-kid on the Internet today… and be toast tomorrow, when Google changes the rules, or smarter competition pulls the rug out from under you, or -- shudder -- the overburdened infrastructure of the Web collapses.  (You know that Intel, Apple, IBM and Yahoo are already putting together an alternate Web, right?  Because they’re convinced the current configuration cannot withstand the onslaught of millions of Chinese logging on over the next, oh, year or so?)

            Gary and I aren’t like other veteran marketers, and never will be.  Too many of our colleagues over the years became afraid of technology, and are spending their time complaining about how horrible things are now, and great they used to be.

            Or, just as bad, they get locked into ONE way of marketing on the Web.  Put all their cookies into one basket, and lose sleep every night wondering when the hammer will fall.

            That’s just a horseshit way of doing business and living your life. Both Gary and I, in our brief time here on the planet, have already blown through six or seven MAJOR technological changes in the way a sales pitch gets delivered to a prospect… and we’ve mastered them all. 

            Infomercials, toll phone numbers, fax blasting, email blasting, heck, even the battle between Federal Express and the Post Office (which has made express delivery a dream marketing tool for smart marketers with super-targeted lists) have all radically changed the landscape of the advertising game.

            This never-ending roller coaster scares the pants off most marketers.

            But the truly savvy veterans just shrug, and get busy exploiting each new delivery system as it arrives.  And count up the money.

            Newbies who think the Web has always been with us, and will never change, may have stumbled on ways to rake in a few bucks… but their lack of experience is setting them all up for a vicious wake-up call. 

            I LOVE the constant change going on.  It’s been this way my entire career, and every time some technology burp causes everyone to run around screaming about how it’s all “different” now, I just laugh… and adjust. 

            The way you deliver your sales message may change radically.

            But what you PUT into that message will still be based on the “classic” tools of world-class salesmanship. 

            Listen carefully:  You can hire geeks to wrangle with the technology for peanuts. 

But guys who know how to craft a sales pitch that forces people to yank money out of their wallet and throw it at you will always be rare… outrageously well-paid… and always seated comfortably in the front row of the marketing show.

            Remember this:

Nothing Happens

Until The Copy Gets Written.

Zilch.  Nada.  Ads don’t run, Websites don’t get posted, sales letters don’t mail.  Stick strategies don’t go out.  The communication between you and your buying audience grinds to a halt… and the money pipeline shuts down.


            That’s why this message is so important.  Between Gary and myself, you are in the presence of the two most effective and experienced teachers in advertising. 

            Unlike almost everyone else in the market today, you have the CHOICE of learning how to be the “go to guy” in your niche… where you can dominate your competition, rake in the most cash, and enjoy the best reputation.

            Discovering veterans like us (who know how to teach) is like finding a secret path under a vast mountain range.  While everyone else kills themselves struggling to climb over the obstacles, you’ll just zoom though to the other side and be well on your way to the Promised Land before they learn their first real lesson in making money.

            It’s a heck of a choice to have -- the option to SHORTCUT your way to glory and wealth. 

And, Damn, But It’s FUN

When This Simple-Yet-Advanced Marketing Stuff

Kicks In.

I first met Gary Halbert at a Jay Abraham party way back in the go-go 1980s.  (At the time, I was trading copy for free run of Jay’s office… a genuine bargain, since I was in my “suck up every scrap of knowledge from the geniuses” mode.)

            Gary was easily the most arrogant, dismissive and self-aggrandizing SOB I’d ever met.

            I liked him immediately. 

            When, a few months later, he suggested that I drop everything and become an overworked copywriter slave for him, I agreed without hesitation. 

            You’ve got to understand -- at that point, I was already well on the path to being a superstar copywriter for the “big mailers” like Agora and Rodale and Phillips and Boardroom. 

I had made a name for myself in Los Angeles as the hot-shot freelancer who got snuck in the back door at the major agencies (to do the critical ad copy their own lame staff couldn’t pull off). 

And I’d already apprenticed as a ghost-writer for Hall-of-Fame proven copywriters like Jim Rutz (for whom I wrote a financial package studded with real pesos that mailed profitably for eight years).

            I literally walked away from a career worth millions… because, in my gut, I knew I was an ill-fit in that corporate world of big mailers and fancy agencies.

            Gary, to my mind, was where the real action was -- the exploding entrepreneurial world.  Where no one wore a tie, the risks were staggering, and every project was an adventure that hinged on the copywriter’s ability to SELL.

            And the money you could earn was just outrageously huge.

            Yet, working without a net like that isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.

            But if you’ve got entrepreneur blood in your veins, it’s the only game around.  Done right, you can earn a vast personal fortune working at your kitchen table in your pajamas… and do it quickly.

            And this was before the Web was even a glint in any marketer’s eye.  Today, you can add two or three zeroes to the money you can make with these tactics.

            I’ve been a top veteran copywriter for over 20 years now… and I’ve stayed on top because of my gluttonous appetite for learning new stuff.  My “Bag of Tricks” is easily among the deepest and most effective arsenals in the industry. 

            I earned my skills, often in the most painful and unglamorous manner possible… but because my learning curve was such a hard slog, I’m now one of the best teachers on the scene.

            My “Rant” newsletter is now in the fourth year of being published monthly, snail-mailed to 16 countries all over the globe (at last count), and considered “must reading” by most of the players in the entrepreneurial niche of the direct marketing world.

            I call myself “the most ripped-off copywriter on the Web” because it’s true -- marketers have, for years, stalked my ads and knocked them off for their own sales efforts.  And my most legendary direct mail letters, Web sites and print ads are used as “study guides” by advanced, super-savvy businessmen world-wide.

            I don’t speak at seminars very often, but when I do I’m usually a featured attraction.  I’ve been the keynote speaker for a couple of Dan Kennedy Boot Camps, the most recent “Big Seminar” in LA put on by the amazing Armand Morin, and many other major events.  (Including seminars by Carl Galletti, Ken McCarthy, Kendrick Cleveland, and even Gary Halbert himself.)

            My own seminars -- like the notorious “Copywriting Sweatshop” and the ground-breaking “License To Steal” workshop -- sell out at $5,000 a seat.

            My blog ( is read by vast numbers of people from the red-hot core of the marketing world.

            And I could go on with the self-promoting, but I’m blushing. 

            Because, you see, I’m actually a fairly shy guy… who was happy working behind the scenes as the notoriously-anonymous “secret weapon” copywriter. 

            But working with Gary changed all that.  He forced me onstage, kicked my butt to go after larger and more ambitious goals… and refused to quit badgering me until I finally started the Rant newsletter, and started giving my own seminars.

            That’s the kind of guy he is.  Never happy to see anyone settle into a routine rut, where life can be slow and normal and uneventful.

            Screw that.

            Life around Halbert is NEVER normal.

            The education in marketing and salesmanship (and, yes, writing copy at a more visceral and more effective level) that I received while working with Gary was dangerous… jam-packed with evil adventure… and the most fun I’ve had in business.

            It was also worth millions of dollars and more.

            He was a vicious mentor.   And plopped me behind the “Big Desk” in his Sunset Boulevard office way before I was ready -- it was sink or swim, and as my head exploded with the work load he piled on me I realized that the head growing back in the ruins of my shoulders was an advanced, and much more savvy, version of my old self.

            Co-producing his first huge marketing seminar nearly killed me.  That’s not a joke.  But pulling that event off changed the way seminars have been produced ever since. 

And I went on to share the stage with Gary for a couple of dozen MORE seminars, each one more outrageous and more challenging and more growth-forcing than the last.

            We were dancing as fast as we could on the shaky cutting-edge of every major marketing breakthrough of the last twenty years. 

            We wrote some of the very first infomercials… back when sharp direct marketers were picking up late-night scrap time on the new cable networks for nothing (literally sometimes for free), filming hour-long pitches in the afternoon and running them hours later.  No one in the “normal” business world even suspected the wealth locked up in those sloppy “wee hour” infomercials.

            We were among the first to divine the goldmine of the “900” toll phone numbers (before they were taken over by the sex industry, even). 

And when I wrote a long-copy ad for the Web in the early 1990s, there was NO ONE else even dabbling in the medium.

            Gary and I have remained close friends, though I could never work with him again.  My heart can’t take it anymore. 

            Many people out there claim to be “action central” in the marketing world… but Halbert really IS. 

            So… what’s all this back-story got to do with you?

            Plenty, if you’re ready to get moving with your own wealth-building.

            You see… Gary launched me on a learning adventure that didn’t end when I left his employ.  I went back and dabbled in the “big mailer” world for a while (the “sex letter” control I wrote for Rodale mailed to millions of names for five years -- after knocking off their best writer -- and has become one of the most ripped pieces of copy in advertising history). 

                        And I took on a handful of clients who were willing to keep the leash off -- meaning, they would mail everything I wrote, without censorship. 

That allowed me to experiment with dangerous concepts… and many of the print, mail and Web ads I created have formed the hardcore base of the most effective “swipe files” around.

            What I bring to the table… is my ability to teach.  If you’re getting everything you need from reading Gary’s postings, or going to his seminars (which I highly recommend doing), then great.

            However… I’ve taught a vast population of people how to write killer copy, and how to dominate their markets, over the past four years… because of an embarrassing secret: 


At Learning The Tough Lessons.

            So I have to learn them again, over and over.

            This tedious, bloody cycle of learning and relearning has given me a rare insight into the teaching process.

            I know the pitfalls, intimately.  And, more important, I now know the shortcuts AROUND the pitfalls… so the people I teach reach their goals in record time.

            Minus the skinned knees and concussions I had to suffer taking the long way around.

            What I offer is not a “copy” of what I learned from Halbert.  Remember, I’d already established myself as a proven copywriter when I met him.

            No.  I wouldn’t be who I am today without the wild ride Gary and I shared over several years. 

            Nevertheless, what I offer is unique and different.  After all this time, I’ve earned a place at the Hall of Fame table, beside Gary and the other veterans who’ve earned a little hard-won notoriety.

            When Gary needs some honest, deep advice from someone he trusts… he calls me.  And when I need a reality check, I call Gary. 

            We’ve been Hot Seating each other for fifteen years.

            And the winner

Is You.

            If you’re ready.

            Gary asked me to create a special package, just for his subscribers.  And I have done so.

            Let’s call this “The Carlton Blackmail Package”… because that’s what he’s done.  Twisted my arm, until I agreed to give away the farm here. 

            I’ve got a few things on the bastard.  But he’s got just as much on me.  We’re at a stalemate, each holding nasty expose material neither wants daylight shed on.

            If you’ve been following Gary for any length of time, you know that he and I rib each other viciously.  (What’d he call me last year in a newsletter… a “lapdog”?  And then complained to me that too many people didn’t get the joke… because, as he said, I was so OBVIOUSLY one of his best and closest friends, and why in the world would he seriously disrespect a friend like that?)  (I got him back, though.  Our practical jokes on each other go on for years, and they’re brutal.)

            But all that ribbing comes from deep mutual respect.  Most people don’t realize what a meeting among insiders in the business world is actually like.  (Which is why I recorded a bunch of phone calls I had with Gary and Dan Kennedy and other insiders, called The Scuttlebutt Tapes -- I wanted to catch the way we really talked to each other on tape, for posterity.  Plus, it’s a vicious education in real-world advanced marketing.)

            We’re passionate about copywriting, and about cutting-edge marketing.  We’re SERIOUS about this stuff, because it’s the engine that makes the capitalist system churn at full grind. 

            But we couldn’t handle the stress of it all without a world-class sense of humor. 

            We do not take OURSELVES seriously at all.

            We know we’re good.  We know that what we teach works.

            And we have fun teaching it all.

            I tell you this to prepare you for what you’re about to be offered.

            Here’s what is in “The Carlton Blackmail Package”:

First:  You get the industry-jarring course “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets of a Marketing Rebel”.  It’s the exact “insider” course I wish was around when I was starting out.  Learning even one or two of these secrets would have short-cut my own success by... oh... ten years at least.  Probably more.  (It can help you leap-frog over the learning process even faster.) 

Included in this best-selling manual are secrets most businesses never discover… such as:

  • The 10 instantly-effective secrets of a copywriter who was forced to create successful ads... or starve!  (I call it “Gun To The Head Copywriting.”)

  • The amazing “Lazy Businessman’s 3-Step Shortcut” to creating your first world-class ad.  (How to quickly turn your hidden salesmanship skills into white-hot sales copy... even if you flunked English!)

  •       How to sell to more customers in a day than you could personally meet in a year!

  •       How to use the ancient “Function of Seduction” secrets in your advertising to make people desperate to open their wallets and give you money!  (It’s the amazing “lost” secret of all great salesmen and all intensely-successful wealth-building marketing.)

  •       How to find the head-turning hook that reels customers into your ad like crazy!  (I’ll show you how to be the one thing your prospect reads today that gets his blood pumping and makes him crave what you’re sellingHis adrenaline levels won’t go down until he’s sent you money.)

  •       How to nail the passionate “sweet spot” of your customer with master-class sales copy!  (You’ll gain instant trust because he feels you’re “just like family”.)

  •       The one envelope that no one in the history of civilization has ever NOT opened!

  •       How to write a killer headline that stops your intended audience cold!  (Find the right “trigger” words that will pinch your reader on the ass and force her to drop everything to read your ad.)

  •       Why your fortune depends on some basic “street savvy”... and how to get it quickly even if you’ve led the most boring life in town.  (A unique secret to turning your overlooked personality and the way people actually talk to each other into huge piles of cash!)

  •       Very simple tactic to double your profits overnight!  (An astonishingly easy technique well-used by smart businessmen... but ignored by 99% of other marketers!)

  •       How to close “high ticket” deals for obscenely-large amounts of money -- even in an ad where your prospect can’t see or hold your product!

  •       11 proven examples of successful direct response concepts you can use immediately (no matter what business you’re in)... plus a Proven Template for your own mega-pulling sales letter!  (An astonishing “how to do it yourself” shortcut map.)

  •       Why your new “back end” will be the most profitable part of every sale.  (The quickest and most fun “warp-speed education” on multiplying your income you’ll ever get!)

  •       How to create your own perfect product over a short weekend... so you can start earning your fortune even if you don’t have a real business or anything to sell yet!

  •       The Marketing Rebel’s “Million Dollar Bag of Tricks” -- 54 proven sales-boosting secrets straight from the trenches... where they bring in massive cash-flow, every day, for the most successful businesses and entrepreneurs in the world!

  •       The cash-multiplying secret of “Operation MoneySuck”!  (You can skip going to college to get a master’s degree in business -- here’s all you need to know, in a nice tidy 3-pages.  The secret of constant income and success that won’t quit.)

  •       A quickie “Idiot’s Guide” to consumer psychology!  (Instantly understand exactly what makes your customer tick... and learn how to tickle his “consumer hot buttons” to the point of frenzy.)

  •       How to sell yourself!  (Yes, these over-the-top salesmanship secrets will change every aspect of your life, no matter what you need -- be it love, money, respect or a fresh start.)

  •       And... The mysterious force behind every dollar bill in the universe that can hook you into an almost magical stream of cash-flow!  (Even conservative, prominent and well-known business owners use this spooky tactic.  It’s the biggest “x-factor” in rapid success, completely hidden from most people.)

            That’s just a small sample of what you’ll find.  There are 18 sections in this copywriting course... each designed to short-cut your education.  And give you the exact super-detailed roadmap you need to start writing your own earth-shaking copy and create your own ridiculously-successful marketing campaigns.

            There is also a special update included… it was necessary because of all the hot new stuff happening on the Web.  (I remain one of the few “classic” veterans who is wired into the red-hot center of Internet marketing -- it’s why I get invited to speak at so many “Web-Based” seminars.)

Also included is a set of 4 CDs of me talking you through the entire copywriting course (so you can listen in your car, or on headphones at home -- many people find that listening helps them learn faster and retain more)...

            I don’t care if you’ve never written a word of sales copy before in your life.  Or if you’re just starting out.  Or if you’ve taken six other businesses straight into bankruptcy.  Or even if you haven’t got a clue what you want to sell, or where.   

None of that matters.

            The ONLY thing that matters... is your desire to get on the bus.  To start writing ads that bring in sales and cash and new customers in a flood, fast and furious. 

This isn’t brain surgery.  But you cannot “figure it out” on your own.  I’ve already spent the critical 20 years of working hard, hanging out with the great mentors of advertising, making the obvious mistakes and following through on jaw-dropping successes. 

There is absolutely no sane reason why you should want to waste years of your own life attempting to cover this same ground.

This is the course I would have killed to own when I started out. 

But Wait...

There’s More.

With this special offer we’ve arranged… you will also receive a huge volume of my collected letters and ads (including most of the now-famous home run fortune-making pieces that have been ripped off so much online). 

Consider this collection a “swipe file” of the best examples of world-class advertising you’ll ever find in one place.

            Clients have paid me as much as $100,000 (including royalties that still come in) to write a single letter.  They pay these kinds of staggering fees happily... because my stuff works.  They can mail a letter or run one of my ads in magazines for years, gathering huge profits each time.  My Web copy is like an automatic feeding frenzy of profit.  The fees clients pay me are a tiny fraction of the fortune these pieces create. 

            This collection is like having a private pass into Fort Knox.  And, since I explain and break down the techniques and choices I made in each piece...

You Can Easily “Translate” These Monster Winners

Into A Killer Ad For Your Own Needs!

            Included are copies (with complete detailed analysis) of such notorious ads and letters like:

  •       The “one-legged golfer” ad that scandalized the staid golf magazines (but sold a ton of product for many years).  A prime example of how a single ad can work over and over again, year after year, with almost zero changes to the copy.

  •      The “sex letter” I wrote for Rodale Books that got me blacklisted there... until they finally mailed it.  It slaughtered the control, and mailed to millions of names worldwide for over 5 years.  (In it, you will discover the secret to “getting inside your customer’s head”... and using his deepest desires to trigger a sale.)

  •       The multi-page “shock-wave” ads for Navy SEAL training videos that changed the martial arts world forever.  (And introduced the buttoned-down “Wall Street” crowd to kicking ass using combat secrets few civilians will ever find out about.)

  •       The famous “wow” letter that arrived in mailboxes with a dollar-bill attached to it.  (Selling a ton of information at $377 a pop.)

            And many, many more letters and ads.  All deconstructed and fully outlined for you -- so you know why I used certain words... how the guarantees were decided... the thinking behind the concepts... how the letters pulled... and all the important lessons learned (both good and bad).

            This is mega-valuable stuff.  You see every word of copy used in these promotions... exactly as they were printed.  This absolutely is NOT raw theory -- it’s hard-core PROVEN copy and tactics and secrets that actually grabbed real prospects... and pulled real orders.  You will see what I wrote, understand why I wrote it... and have the opportunity to freely...

Rip Me Off For Your Own Ads And Letters

And Sales Pitches!

            I’ve been offered $5,000 on the spot for such a collection... but I’ve never been motivated to put it together before.  Now that I’ve finally decided to share my secrets... here it is.  One packed-tight collection of material that will shock, titillate and educate the hell out of you.  And you’ll be stunned by the low price I ask.  (More on that in just a moment.)


I will buy you a 12-month subscription to my white-hot newsletter “The Marketing Rebel Rant” (normal year’s sub is now $250).  If you don’t fall in love with this irreverent, outrageous and insanely-information-dense newsletter, then you aren’t breathing.  It’s worth the price for the entire package.  It’s an ongoing, very personal mentorship that includes eye-opening sections like:

 ► Salesmanship 101 (where you can learn what the most irresistible salesmen on the planet     know about closing the deal)...

   Lessons From The Vice Squad (things you won’t learn in Sunday school about world-class  marketing tactics)...

   Operation MoneySuck (how to get massive amounts of cash flowing like water in your direction)...

      And an interactive Shame And Success department (where I’ll share super-valuable e-mail and real-time critiques with you). 

Not done yet…

I will also send you ALL back issues of the Rant -- three entire years worth of newsletters… equal to an advanced course on marketing, advertising and life all on its own.  (That’s something that would have cost you $600 to have received as a regular subscriber.)

This is hot stuff. 

This is player material.


…and I’m only doing this because Halbert insists -- you get...

Two Uncensored FREE Critiques -- Personally Done By Me --

Of Your Most Important Ads!

            This access to a pro writer for critiques is priceless.  I have a well-deserved reputation for being THE most hard-nosed drill sergeant who’s ever helped another person learn to write.  I am brutal with my critiques… because it’s serious business. 

I treat you the SAME WAY I treat myself -- because money is on the line.  Your money, and the success of your business.  I would be committing a crime if I let you send out a bad piece of copy. 

So I tell it like it is -- the exact way I critique my own writing.  To keep pushing it away from mediocre and toward world-class statuswhere amazing success and wealth awaits. 

Is that enough to get your greed gland salivating?

Well, guess what?

There’s more to this package:

I will also include one my sought-after “Book of Critiques” -- something you otherwise cannot lay your hands on without becoming a member of my elite Insider’s Club. 

This staggeringly huge volume contains several dozen critiques I’ve done for other people.  It’s a dense super-advanced education in the life-changing advice for which I’ve earned a reputation as perhaps the best hands-on teacher alive.

I will also throw in a “One-Half Offcertificate good for a one-on-one “mini-Hot Seat” phone consultation with me, with no expiration date. 

PLUS:  Two BONUSES:  I will also send you, as a bonus you can KEEP no matter what, two of those astonishing Scuttlebutt Tapes I mentioned before -- “The Go To Guy”, with me and Halbert in an “R”-rated discussion of a burning issue for marketing who want to go all the way… and “Success Secrets That Scare Most People Half To Death”, with me and Dan Kennedy.

You get both the CDs and the transcripts -- something I’ve never offered before.

And, finally…


The Normal Guarantee Time For You.

Usually, I give you a full 3 months to check everything out, and decide if you want to keep it or return it.

For Gary, that’s just not good enough.  So you can take a full 6 months to decide.  And, if you do decide this “blackmail” package isn’t for you -- for any reason at all -- just return it for a fast refund. 

No questions asked.

And you can KEEP the two Scuttlebutt CDs and transcripts.  My gift to you, just for taking the time to check this package I’ve arranged especially for Gary’s subscribers.

I think that’s about it. 

Oh wait… are you curious how much all this will cost you?

Well… my Insider’s Club, where I offer critiques and swipe files and the Rant and other goodies… is a flat $2,400 for one year.  Expensive, yes. 

Worth every penny.

It’s $5,000 to step foot into any of my seminars. 

Heck, to hire me as a copywriter will set you back $20,000, plus a piece of the profit. 

However, Gary has asked me (okay, forced me) to price this little bundle of goodies much more modestly.

Therefore… the price for all of the above, delivered via Federal Express Ground in a big damn box that will blow your mind:  Just $999. 

Here’s what you need to do now: 

There are two ways to complete your order. 

1.  The easiest is to hit one of these two links -- depending on whether you’re ording inside the US or from a foreign country -- which will take you to a Paypal order page created especially for this offer.  (Note: If the link you choose doesn’t instantly take you to the Paypal order page, you may have to hold down your Control key while clicking on the blue link copy)…

Click here to pay by PayPal inside US

Click here to pay by PayPal outside US

The entire transaction will take you just a few minutes, even if this is the first time you’ve ever used Paypal.  It’s brain-dead simple, and your order will be in my hands for processing within hours.

2.  Or… you can print the Priority Order Form below, and fax it to 775-562-2655, or snail mail it to: John Carlton, 316 California Ave. #114, Reno, NV 89509.

You can use your credit card, or write a check payable to Marketing Rebel, LLC.

And I’m done.  The order page is below, along with a few testimonials you may not have seen before -- just a little third part credentialing, so you know I’m not making any of this stuff up.

I hope you give this “Blackmail” package a look-see.  There’s no risk whatsoever -- if you’re not happy, for any reason at all (and you don’t even NEED a reason), just return the material for a fast refund.

But keep the Scuttlebutt CDs.  My gift to you just for looking.

I gotta go. 

Hope to see you soon on the scrolls of the Rant.  I promise not to be nice.


John Carlton

P.S.  If you order right now, within the next day or so, I’ll send you a note detailing the time I made Gary cry.  God, that was one of the best pranks I ever pulled on him, getting him back for years worth of cruel and unusual practical jokes…

P.P.S.  Aw, heck… I’ll sweeten the deal even more.  If you order right away, I’ll also include a special report (unavailable at any price elsewhere) called “The 20 Clicks”.  These are the exact notes I took during one of the very first seminars I did with Halbert… and I kept detailed track of every marketing tactic he used while doing Hot Seats with business owners.

            People who have followed Halbert’s newsletter for years have lusted after this report… because it shortcuts the business of trying to “figure out what’s in his Bag of Tricks” that allows him to so easily know EXACTLY what to do in, no matter how complex or seemingly-impossible the marketing problem before him is. 

            This is advanced insider knowledge, the stuff of rumor and legend. 

            And I will send it to you, for free, if you order right now.

            So don’t dick around and let this opportunity slip through your fingers.  Either fill out the Order Form below and get it back to me, or hop onto Paypal and get your order into processing immediately. 

            Remember, there’s no risk whatsoever.


            The order form is below the following testimonials…

“Over the last 14 days, what you taught me generated an extra $20,979 in sales!  Thanks again.”  Jeff Gardner, TX  (Update:  “After a full month, my take is now $70,000!  Note to self:  Follow John’s advice!”)… “You know that new ‘hook’ you insisted I try in my sales pitch?  It tripled response!  This translates into several hundred thousand dollars in sales over the coming year.  You are on my Christmas gift list for life, dude.”  Lisa Wagner, California… “I’ve written pieces that have pulled in millions of dollars.  Yet, when I sit down to write copy, I pull out my swipe file of John Carlton’s stuff, and study it like my life depended on it.  He is one of the few true experts in advertising.  Pure gold.”  Caleb O’Dowd, Florida…  


“My average order is 50% higher (and more) since I adopted your idea.  I love your outlook, and your advice cracks me up while bringing in the results.” Tom Venuto, NJ…  “Dear John: Your strategies have made me hundreds of thousands of dollars.  I consider your copywriting to be so influential on my success, that I’ve literally stalked your ads and sales letters, purchased countless products and services to get on lists… solely so I could collect (and study) the sales letters that you write. This practice has been like a real-world ‘Harvard Business School’ education for me. And I know dozens of millionaire business people and successful ‘guru’s’ that quietly keep an eye on you, follow all that you do, and consider you a major influence on their success.”  Ben Cummings, Park Place Publishing, NY… “Thanks to your tips, I just doubled response on my website!  I’ve never gotten 5 hot sales leads in one and a half hours before, such I just did this afternoon.  This is getting really exciting, fast.”  Perry Marshall, Perry Marshall and Associates…  “John fought hard to get us to mail his sales letter for our new book.  He ruffled so many feathers pushing us past our creative ‘comfort zone’ that he got himself temporarily blacklisted... until, of course, his piece not only knocked off one of our top writers, but also mailed profitably for over 4 years to millions of names.”  Sindy Berner, Production Marketing Manager, Rodale Books, PA…


“Just finished a 1,000 trial mailing with new copy using Carlton’s concepts.  Raked in $22,000 the first week.  It worked so good it was scary.”  Dr. John M. La Tourrette, OR… “I implemented your recommendations, and almost DOUBLED my conversion rate on my website!  Awesome.”  Blair Gorman, New Zealand… “This guy turned our business around literally overnight.  Just John’s consulting abilities alone are worth his outrageous fee -- the fact you also get one of the best copywriters alive makes him the biggest bargain in business today.  He throws himself into every aspect of a project... so when the ad runs and the phones start ringing, you’re prepared to capture every dollar.”  Dr. Russell Horine, NuLife Clinics… “I have 20 years of experience with B2B direct response -- I eat salesmen for lunch -- so I bristled at John’s suggestion that I needed to rewrite my sales letter.  Good thing I got over my rage… because listening to John allowed me to penetrate over 10% of a very competitive industry, and I’m still getting 2-3 calls a week.  Thanks for pushing me so hard.”  Dan Page, CO… “Studying John Carlton’s writing, and adapting it to Japanese culture, has allowed me to dominate an entire Asian market.  It’s just unbelievable what you can do when you learn what’s in John’s amazing bag of tricks.”  Markus Kuroda, Japan… “I went from making about $500 a month from my website… to pulling down over $2,000 each month.  And it’s all because of your advice on my copy.  Nothing else changed.”  Fernando Cruz



Gary C. Halbert




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