North of Jewfish Creek


Dear Friend & Subscriber,

This entire newsletter is going to consist of an ad I wrote for a client some time ago. I think reading it will prove very instructive to you. After you read it, I would like you to email me and tell me what you think about the ad... and... how you think it performed. By the way, this ad appeared twice as a full-page advertisement in Investors' Business Daily.



WARNING: Do Not Read This

Unless You Are Already Rich!

If you would like to know how someone can start with a simple idea... and then... generate over $51,000,000 in sales in just one year... this is going to be the most interesting message you will ever read.

Here is why: There's a guy in California named Carl Palmer who, until recently, was very wealthy and very bored. He got rich (the first time) by starting a company in 1970 which he sold out to Coca-Cola just three years later in 1973. As part of the deal, he had to sign a "non-compete" agreement with a duration of five years. After that five years ended, he went back in business and built up another company which was soon acquired by the giant AMF Corporation. After that, Carl developed Shackley's reverse osmosis home water filtration system... and... in the first year... they did $51 million in sales with that product. And so on. You get the idea. What this guy does is, he comes up with enormously valuable inventions, starts a company to sell those inventions... and soon... he goes nuts with all the hassles of running a business... and so... he sells out (at a huge profit) to some giant corporation that has the resources and the clout to exploit the living daylights out of whatever it is he has invented. But now, he has outdone himself. Now, at the request of the Seychelle Technologies, Inc., he has invented something that is needed by every human being in the world... and...

This Invention Is Almost

Certain To Generate Billions In Sales!

Here's how he came up with his latest invention. He's got a horse ranch somewhere near Pomona, California and one day he was out riding one of his horses... and... he was bored to tears! You see, this guy has a mind that just won't quit. So, he gets to wondering: "What would be the world's best product to develop? Is there anything that every human being on earth must have?"Yes, there is. It's called water. It's tasteless, odorless, colorless and calorie-free... but... it is vital to all life on earth. It doesn't matter if you are a dog, a cat, a human being, an elephant or a mere microbe, water is essential. And there is no substitute. There are more than five billion people on this planet and every single one of those people needs about 2-1/2 quarts of water... every day... to keep healthy and stay alive.

No water, no life.

But, so what? There's more water on earth than there is earth, right? Yes, that's true. However, 97% of all that water is sea water. And sea water, of course, is just chock full of salt. Anyone who drinks only sea water will soon die of thirst and dehydration as that person's body tries desperately to flush out all that excess salt. Of course, we humans can use sea water... if... we remove the salt. But, that is very expensive! Sea water is not a good choice for agriculture or industry either. It kills most crops and literally (and very quickly) rusts out most machinery. In truth, only a mere 3% of the world's water is fresh, not salty. But, almost all of that fresh water is locked up in glaciers and ice caps or is deep underground. Which means...

Only A Measly 1% Of All The Water

On This Planet Is Easily Accessible To Mankind!

And, much of that water is so polluted it is killing thousands upon thousands of people every day... plus... it is making millions of us horribly sick. Do you own a house? If so, go down into your basement with a hacksaw and cut off about an inch of one of your water pipes. Then, get yourself a strong flashlight and take a careful look at the inside of that water pipe. Guess what? Chances are, what you are looking at is NOT going to be pretty. Rust... Sediment... Lead... Dirt... Little flecks of animate matter such as rodent feces... Chlorine... Mercury... and... all sorts of other junk that is really bad news when you put it into your body. Think about what this means: Even if the city where you live does a perfect job (it doesn't; it doesn't even come close) of purifying your water supply...

Your Water, After Traveling Through Several Miles Of Pipes, Is Still Likely To Have Lots Of Horrible Stuff In It

When It Comes Out Of Your Faucet!

But, very likely, your city simply can't do a perfect job of cleaning up your water supply. The problem is just too overwhelming. So, what they do is, they dump chlorine in the water! Which, in a way, is good... because... chlorine kills a lot of those nasty, disease-causing bugs in the water. But hey, you know why it is able to kill all those bugs? It's very simple...

It's Because Chlorine Is Poison!

That's why most U.S. citizens have fewer cavities in their teeth these days: It's because the chlorine in our drinking water kills those little organic microbes that eat away at the enamel on our teeth. However, using a poison like chlorine to kill the "bad guy" microbes is sort of like undergoing chemotherapy when you have cancer. In other words, not only do the cancer cells get zapped; many of your non-cancerous cells also get zapped... and often... your hair falls out, you get extremely tired and your zest for life is considerably diminished. Speaking of cancer, there are five different articles in certified publications from the EPA, Massachusetts General Hospital, University of Alabama, University of Georgia, and the University of Florida that all prove...

Drinking Chlorinated Water Increases Your Chances Of

Dying From Cancer By 44%!

Plus, it has all kinds of other bad (horribly bad) effects on your health. But wait! Don't go getting angry at your municipal water company. They are very likely doing the best job they can considering the huge problems they are trying to solve. Yes, it's true: Chlorine is bad for you. But, the "bad guys" that would otherwise still be alive in our water supply... if... it wasn't chlorinated... is truly the stuff of which nightmares are made.When you start talking about E-coli, omoebic cysts, cryptosporidium, giordia and so on, you are talking about "biological villains" that cause...

Health Problems You Don't Even Want To Know About!

Again, chlorine is like chemotherapy: It's the lesser of two evils. In truth, any way you look at it, it's still a terrible situation. So, what's the answer? Well, millions of Americans now have water filtration devices in their homes... and... that does solve part of the problem. However, when Carl Palmer was doing his research, he discovered 50% to 60% of all the water we drink in our lifetime...

Is Water We Drink Away From Home!

It's no wonder the bottled water industry is such a big business. How big is it? I'm glad you asked. Just in the United States alone, the annual sales volume of bottled water... is more... than... 4.2 billion dollars! But, there's a couple of problems with bottled water: (1) First, there are about 350 different brands and not all of them are selling good water. Some of it is as bad as plain old ordinary tap water. Some of it is worse. In fact, some of it is ordinary tap water. What a racket: Fill a plastic bottle with water from a faucet... and then... sell it at a 2,000% markup! (2) Secondly, whether it's good or bad, all bottled water is expensive. For example, in Miami Beach at a local convenience store, an 11-ounce bottle of Perrier sells for $1.40. If you bother to do the math, you'll discover this works out to $16.29 per gallon. Actually, because Miami Beach is a resort area and Perrier is one of the more costlier brands of bottled water, this per gallon price is higher than average. However, even in non-resort areas, the usual average price for bottled water is still very high, like maybe $7.00 or $8.00 per gallon. Plus, almost every American who buys bottled water buys a lot of it. I mean really a lot! Let's face it: You need water every day. And, if you exercise, you need even more than other people. That's why many health-conscious Americans...

Spend More Than $1,600 Per Year

Just On Bottled Water!

But now, let's talk about something truly exciting. Imagine you go to a store and you buy yourself a bottle of Avian, Perrier, Arrowhead or any other brand of bottled water. Then, you drink the water from that bottle... but... instead of throwing the bottle away and going to the store to get another one... you fill up that empty bottle with water from your faucet... or... from a lake... or... from a river... or... even from a public swimming pool! Next, you put the cap back on the bottle... and... because that cap has an incredibly effective filter on the bottom of it, the water that now comes out of the bottle will be equal to... or better (in taste and purity) than the water you originally purchased. Only... you didn't have to buy it again! Which means, instead of paying $7.00 or $8.00 per gallon for bottled water (that is NOT even guaranteed to be pure) you end up getting water that IS guaranteed pure for mere pennies per gallon. Plus, you don't have to run back to the store whenever you need more water. Plus, you can take your bottle with its new, space-age, magic filter bottle cap... anywhere you go... even Mexico... and you will always have an endless supply of the purest water you can drink. Sounds like a dream, doesn't it? Well, because of what Carl Palmer has developed for Seychelle Technologies, it is now a dream come true. You see, Carl is the inventor of the reverse osmosis water filtration system which is what he sold to Coca-Cola, AMF and Shakley. But, that's what Carl invented 27 years ago. It's still a very effective water filtration system and it's still in widespread use. However, the water filtration system Carl has now invented exclusively for Seychelle Technologies... is... leap years ahead... of any other system on the market... including... the one he personally invented 27 years ago. One of the reasons Carl was able to create this amazing new filter is, he owns the world distribution rights to something called "sorbent media"... which... it turns out... is very likely to be the best water filtration material on this planet. One of the reasons is, it has a "pore size" of only two microns (many water filters have a pore size of 50 to 100 microns) which means that a much higher percentage of the toxic "bad guys" can't get through the filter. Plus, this material is so thin, if you would unravel the amount of it compressed into this tiny, new, super-effective filter...

It Would Cover A Surface Area

Of 15,000 Square Feet!

This filter also has ionic properties... which means... it has the ability to chemically bond to volatile organic compounds often found in polluted water. In other words, it just reaches out and grabs them (they're another breed of disgusting "toxic villains") and holds them to the surface of the filter. The bottom-line: Water passed through this filter is equal to... or even better... than the water found in any bottled water you can buy anywhere in the world. The second bottom-line: Because of the unique materials used to create this filter, it can be miniaturized to the size of a walnut and still purify an enormous amount of water. So, what Seychelle Technologies now has ready to market is not water, it's a water bottle that purifies water. It's plastic. About the same size as a bottle of Avian, Perrier, Arrowhead or what have you... but... the difference is... the cap that goes on the bottle has an amazing ionic microfiltration device (it's a major trade secret) attached to the bottom of it... and... a small plastic straw going up through the top of the cap. Fill the bottle with water (from almost any source), screw on the cap... and then... you can sip through the straw... and drink safe water from any location on earth! This space-age water bottle retails for $29.95 and it will purify so much water...

You Can Refill It

More Than 1,000 Times!

To get that same amount of pure water (assuming it is pure) by purchasing bottled water, you would have to spend approximately $1,700.00! Plus, you'd have to keep going back to the store over and over. This invention saves lives! It has the potential of eradicating a significant percentage of human health problems. It is now being introduced on an emergency basis in Mexico, Argentina, China, Malaysia, Korea, India, and 11 other countries... and... some very private market research indicates that in 1998...

This Product Is Literally

Going To Swamp The U.S. Market!

Carl Palmer is extremely passionate about this invention.... because... as stated earlier... it can save lives and prevent an enormous amount of human misery. That's why he has chosen to work exclusively with Seychelle Technologies who... in turn... have agreed not to become involved with any other projects... so... they can focus 100% on the production and marketing of this one item! Seychelle Technologies (located at 1920 Main Street, Suite 1020, Irvine, California 92614) has enormous growth potential. They are passionately committed to producing and marketing Carl Palmer's amazing new invention... as fast... as their financing will allow them to expand! If you would like to have more information on this exciting company, you are welcome to call and leave your name and address with one of the secretaries at Seychelle Technologies.When you do that, you will be sent immediately (and free of charge) a video tape that features Carl Palmer explaining his invention... and... another man, DuSean Berkich (CEO of Seychelle Technologies) giving an overview of the company and its plans for expansion. Here's the number:


Scroll Down To Learn More About The Stealth Psychology Used In The Water Ad





Gary C. Halbert


P.S. Remember, email me and tell me what you think about the ad... and... how you think it performed.





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Copyright 2005 Halbert Publishing Inc.  All Rights Reserved.


Dear Friend & Subscriber,

Last week I posted a newsletter on this website which I titled simply "Water". That newsletter consisted almost entirely of an ad I wrote several years ago.

The newsletter described how a genius named Carl Palmer had made himself wealthy several times and how he was prone to chronic boredom unless he was working on an exciting project. The ad also told about his creation of a marvelous new product which could save millions of lives and was needed by virtually every human being on this planet.

In that newsletter, I told my readers the ad had ran twice as a full-page in Investors' Business Daily.

Then I asked my readers to email me their comments about the ad and how well they thought the ad did.

I have never before had such a high percentage of my readers make such  idiotic guesses about how well they thought an ad performed. The people who made truly insane guesses were those who worked in financial services... and sadly... those people who identified themselves as copywriters and/or direct response marketers.

The more analytical the response, the further it was from the truth of how the ad performed and why.

However, all is not lost. A handful of my most astute readers (just a tiny handful) got it exactly right.

Listen up: The ad is very confusing and deceiving to people with a first-rate marketing mind. You pretty much have to have a world-class marketing mind to understand the genius of that ad.

First, I will tell you how well the ad worked. It attracted an enormous number of qualified investors who, by my estimate, were willing to pony up in the neighborhood of $400,000,000 to participate in this project.

That ad is so Machiavellian, I believe not even 1 out of 1,000 readers will be able to understand its almost unbelievable power. This would truly be a candidate for the most powerful space ad ever written.

And sadly, I suspect none of you... even after you read that ad ten times... will ever have a clue of WHY it's so powerful.

Not only that, there is a "back story" concerning the ad. It involves very curious twists and turns... and... some of the most bizarre, slickest,  intelligent and corrupt people in the annals of American business.

I bet you would like me to lead you by the hand exactly through every step of the ad and explain what I was doing as I wrote every sentence. I bet you would also love to read the "rest of the story" about that ad.

I've been thinking about revealing all this for almost eight years. I still am not 100% certain I want to tell you all the secrets about the ad and the back story that goes with it.

But I've made myself a deal.

Now all of you know the answer as to how well the ad performed. None of you now have any excuse for emailing me and pontificating idiotic reasons why the ad did not work.

Here's what I want you to do: I want you to email me immediately with your best guess as to WHY the ad did work... and... performed so outstandingly it was almost unbelievable.

If enough of my readers (and by "enough" I mean almost ALL of them) email me their guesses about why this ad worked so well... I will write another newsletter this week and give you ALL of the answers in minute detail. But let me tell you something you better believe. This is me, Gary Halbert writing, and I'm not fooling around. If I don't get an ENORMOUS amount of emails from my readers guessing why the ad worked so well... and... if I don't get those email responses almost immediately, I'm not going to tell you the answers! I will take the secrets to my grave and all of you can go piss up a rope making absurd guesses about the ad for the rest of your pathetic lives.

Look, I don't mind you are all shitweasels. In fact, as the Alpha Shitweasel, I'm rather proud of that. However, I have no patience whatsoever with LAZY-MINDED shitweasels. So, if you are too mentally lethargic to make an immediate guess as to why the ad worked... don't send me an email. If there are enough of you who don't email me... none of you will ever know.

You know why from time to time I write a "kick-the-anthill" newsletter like this?

I do it for the same reason a dog licks his balls. It's because I can.




Gary C. Halbert

"Supreme Master of Politically
Correct Communications"

P.S. If you're going to reply, send your email here.

P.P.S. If you're not going to reply, why don't you just stop reading this newsletter altogether and take up bowling?






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Copyright © 2005 Halbert Publishing Inc.  All Rights Reserved.