North of Jewfish Creek


Dear Friend & Subscriber,

First, I feel forced to reluctantly admit I have enormous respect for my subscribers.

My last "kick-the-anthill" newsletter tactfully titled "Canine Testicles" has produced an almost uncountable number of replies from nearly every country on earth that has an English-speaking human with a computer. I want you to know...

I Have Read Every Single Email

They were remarkable! When my readers were more or less forced to put on their "thinking-caps" they started giving me very accurate answers as to why the "water ad" worked so well. A lot of people re-read that ad and put a lot of thought into their emails to me. They got an awful lot of why it worked exactly right. But...

They Didn't Get It All

In fairness, that would have been impossible. The reason is, there were certain very unique circumstances surrounding the writing and publication of that ad which is "unknowable" to anybody who wasn't there at the time.

Well, you are all going to soon know ALL those "unknowable" things.

I am in the process right now of writing one of the longest newsletters I've ever written which will reveal EVERYTHING about that ad. I promise...

You Won't Believe Your Eyes!

Never before and possibly never again will you read such a revealing piece of writing about master class marketing and business blunders. in fact, I suspect one or more of my readers will become wealthy because of what I am going to reveal.

I was going to do reveal everything in this newsletter. But, I've decided not to. Instead, it's going to be in a newsletter on my website next week. The delay is for two reasons:

(1) My #1 Trusty Assistant, Theresa, had to take time off from work because of a minor illness.

(2) I received so many well-thought-out replies about the water ad, I feel I owe it to my readers to really buckle down and tell the ENTIRE story and really do it to the best of my ability.

So, now you know what I'll be doing this weekend.

But Wait... There's More!

Just so you don't feel cheated, I'm going to make you very happy you read THIS newsletter. You know why? Of course you don't. So I'm going to tell you.

I am going to reproduce right in this newsletter what is, I believe... the hottest pitch on the Internet today!

And, you don't have to email me a guess why this pitch is so good. That's  because I'm going to tell you why it's so good... before... I let you read it. I can sum it up in two words:

It's Real

A lot of people think I wrote this pitch but, I did not. But, I know the guy who did write it and everything he says is true. If I may dare make a comparison, I think he's a lot like me. In other words...

He's The REAL Deal

What he is selling is the real way to make money on the Internet. He sells it dirt-cheap and there's no filler or bullshit in his information whatsoever. His product tells you what you need to know to really strike it rich on the Internet. He (for real) has made... and continues to make... millions with just his computer. I know his "numbers" and they are staggering.

And his product will reveal to you how you can do exactly the same thing. He holds nothing back. He tells it all. This product very definitely has the GHSOA (Gary Halbert Seal Of Approval).

If you are interested in making money on the Internet, read this pitch and order his dirt-cheap product. (If you're not interested in making money on the Internet, read this pitch anyway... it's a great education.) You have my personal guarantee this information product delivers more "bank-for-the-buck" than anything else on the subject of making online profits.

His pitch starts just below my signature.


Gary C. Halbert

Copyright © 2005 Gary C. Halbert.  All Rights Reserved.




Don't Waste My Time..... Lets get something straight. I am a jerk. I am obnoxious. I am lazy. And I donít care, because I am FILTHY RICH. I am much too important to even be sitting here writing this right now. So I'll keep it short. I make several million dollars every year on the internet, doing almost nothing. Heard that before? Well you can see proof of my earnings here. Have you seen proof like that anywhere else? Didn't think so. Do you make that much money? Didn't think so.

Iím the real deal. Whether you like it or not, you want to be rich like me, otherwise you wouldn't be here. And since you are here, I'm sure you already know that there are thousands of "get rich quick" programs on the internet today. Youíve probably even bought some of them yourself. Well, are you impressed with them? Iím not. Not even close. What proof do these losers have of their earnings? That they make a few thousand dollars a month? Big deal. I make millions. And I barely even do anything to earn it. It's so automatic it would make you sick.

So Who the Hell am I? Iím the guy you see driving down the street in a Ferrari with the top down, and you think to yourself, "What an ass!" And you know what? Youíre right. But so what? Do you think I really value your opinion? Iím a rich jerk, so I couldnít care less. I cut through the BS. If you find me offensive, obnoxious, or whateverÖ.feel free to leave my website at anytime. Iím not here to make friends. Iím here to show you EXACTLY how I make millions.  Itís no secret that Iím selling something here. And when you see what I'm offering, you will be blown away.

  Recent Comment:

"All I can say is I'm sorry I doubted you. I'm very skeptical of stuff like this, but you are a GENIUS. A ĎGODí of the written word and mind."

Martin Clarke - UK


Right about now, I feel a rant coming on about the ďmajorĒ marketing gurus (you know, the big name guys) you see all over the internet and TV. The ONLY way these people make any money is by selling their overpriced books and CD's full of mainstream marketing ideas that you can learn from any marketing book in the world. Thatís it. These people are CORPORATIONS. They are not trying to help you. They have no ďsecretsĒ. Itís the same information over and over again, repackaged differently by new ďauthorsĒ every year. These guys send you books and binders with over 1,000 pages, DVD's and audio tapes with another 10 hours of material to review.

I don't know about you but I'm lazy. I want definitive answers without all of the BS and filler. I want "here is how to make money", and that's it. The mere thought of reading 1,000 pages of marketing mumbo jumbo turns my stomach. Honestly, do you think these people are going to tell you anything useful? Unless you are a complete idiot, you're going to get the SAME info you already know. We all know you need a website. I don't need an 87 minute DVD to tell me that, or a 100 page chapter in a book. We all know it's important to get traffic to your website. I don't need another 120 minute video and 78 page chapter to tell me that. Thousands of pages, and dozens of hours of video and audio tapes doesn't mean a product is worthwhile.

Unlike these idiots selling their latest money making ďprogramsĒ, Iím also not going to tell you my name, because I donít crave attention like them. Those guys dream of doing seminars, appearances, interviews, etc. I donít do any of that crap. They want to be famous to make mommy & daddy proud, or so that the people who picked on them in high school will be jealous. Who cares? I donít want to be famous. I make millions anonymously, and I like it that way. And I do it in only a few hours per week, and it's NOT from this website! In fact, none of the income I showed before is from the website you are on right now.


  Recent Comment:

"You might be epitome of arrogance, but you certainly know your stuff. Anyone who is unwilling to pay ANY price for this material ought to be put out of their miserable internet existence. Iím already doing 6 figures after less than a year online, but you just gave me the direct route to 7 figures before year end. Where the hell was this a year ago?? Anyway, thanks a million!"

Stephanie Woolford-Bales - Vancouver, WA


Let's get to it.
So, what do I do to make the money I showed you earlier?
(If you missed my proof of earnings, you can see them again here - but please keep the drooling to a minimum). Well, I came up with over 3 dozen amazingly effective strategies for dramatically increasing website traffic and sales, some of which are actually so simple, they are almost devious. They practically force people to buy things, and the person will happily do so. It doesn't matter if the product is yours or not. My strategies will work for your own products, or if you have an affiliate website. The market is so wide open for these techniques, it's ridiculous. From Google Adwords, to Google Adsense. From search engine optimization, to sales letters. From wholesale buying & selling of the hottest consumer products, to unique investment opportunities. I cover it all. I will show you EXACTLY how I make ALL of my money. And when I say "exactly", I mean it.

I can say with 100% confidence, when I show you my strategies, you will be angry that you didnít think of many of them yourself. But that anger will quickly turn to joy and excitement about the possibility of adding these strategies to your own website and seeing immediate results. If you donít have a website, that's no problem at all. For beginners, my ebook will put you years ahead of where you should be. I've been doing this for 6 years. For experts, I GUARANTEE that several of my strategies will blow your mind.

Iím even going to go one step further, and do the unthinkable. Iím going to show you some of my current & former websites that have made me millions. And no, I'm not talking about the site you are on right now. One of my sites made me over $1 Million Dollars in just a few months, and I didn't even have a product to ship. Thatís right, I am actually going to show you some of my current and former websites that made me millions, using the exact strategies I will show you. One of them has been ranked # 1 in Google for over 3 years for several of the most competitive keywords and phrases on the planet. # 1 out of over 100 million results. I obviously know what I'm doing.

Many times I make a site hugely profitable, then sell it to the highest bidder. With the internet so volatile, I try to sell my sites when I feel they are at their peak. I recently sold a website of mine that made me $1.4M in one year. Over $900k in profit. I will show you the URL's of multiple sites that have made me several million dollars. There are also a couple of million dollar websites I've sold that I CAN'T reveal the URL or subject of, as the buyers made me sign non-disclosures....They are smart cookies because they know I'm the man, and they don't want me sending them new competition. And I must respect that. But I can still show you the strategies I used to get them so profitable, the same strategies that I use for ALL of my websites. And the best part is that ALL of my websites are 99% automated.

I know what you are one who makes as much money as I do would even dare to reveal their knowledge, because they would fear opening a floodgate of new competition. In fact, I know several people who make very good money online, and they think Iím absolutely crazy for sharing my strategies. But I donít really give a s%$#* what they say. There are 3 reasons why I can confidently reveal my strategies to you:

ē First of all, I make more than enough money from the site you are on right now, enough that I donít have to worry about anyone competing with me on one of my many other websites. Word of mouth about my program has sent sales through the roof.

ē Secondly, Iím already richer than I ever thought I would be. So if a few of my websites start to lose revenue because of copycats, it doesnít really matter.

ē Lastly, my strategies apply to hundreds of thousands of niche areas of the internet, so there are enough pieces of the pie for everyone. Even if you did copy my strategies and do better than me in some of the same areas I market in, Iíll just make another site about something else. No big deal. I have websites in categories that most people would never even think of anyway. So competition from you is the least of my worries.

So What am I Offering You?
Iím offering you the EXACT SAME strategies I have used to become an online multi-millionaire. The same strategies I still use to this day. Unlike those so-called gurus I spoke about before, Iím not going to overwhelm you with pages and pages of cookie-cutter marketing mumbo jumbo, just to make my product look large and worthwhile. If you are looking for an expensive sleep-aid, buy their program. If you want to start making money TODAY, buy mine.

In my program, I cut to the chase with just over 45 pages of my prime online money making strategies, those that you can begin using immediately. If you cannot make $25K/month with these techniques, I seriously think you are in the wrong field. Even a lazy jerk like me made millions off of them. And Iím talking about 5-10 hours of work per week MAX. If you pay someone a few hundred bucks a week to answer most of the emails for you, you can work as little as 1-2 hours per week.


  Recent Comment:

"First off, your product is hands down the best I've ever bought. And I've bought a lot. I hope my competition doesn't get their hands on it. You really delivered."

Erik M. - Netherlands

What's Included in my Program:

10 ways to instantly create an affiliate website that sells like crazy.
How to make a fortune generating easy leads for dozens of online companies.
Why your sales letters suck and mine convert like crazy
How I kill ANY competition on Google Adwords, and pay less than them.
How my Adsense Ads have a 20% clickthrough rate.
How I earn an average of $1.00 or more from EVERY person that comes to my FREE websites
How to get almost EVERY visitor to join your email lists.
How I attained and maintained a # 1 listing in Google for 3 years, for several of the most popular searches in the world. Over 100 million competitors. And it's still # 1 today.
How to get huge link popularity doing almost nothing.
How to use both "white hat" and "black hat" strategies to your advantage.
How to create your own profitable e-product in 2 days.
How to get super-affiliates to promote your site above all others.
How to create instant, search engine friendly content about subjects you know nothing about.
How to instantly create an Ebay powerseller company that makes a minimum of $30k/month.
Where to buy wholesale consumer products that are "hot", for the lowest prices, in bulk. A list of my own personal sources not found anywhere else. Resell on eBay. Dropshipping available.
Websites you can create RIGHT NOW that will be instantly profitable.
Examples of my current and former websites that make me millions.
Free updates for life.
So much other miscellaneous stuff, I'd be here all day.

A Few Additional Things You Should Know About My Strategies:

ē They are especially useful for selling informational products, digital downloads, or access to a members only site. (your own or as an affiliate). Yet, several techniques also apply to just about any product being sold online.

ē These are true ďguerillaĒ marketing techniques. A few are so absurd that they are actually genius, if I do say so myself.

ē I'm not going to waste your time with general marketing info that you can find anywhere. EVERYTHING you need to succeed like me is included in my ebook. Nothing more, nothing less.

Face it....if you want to be rich like me, this is your chance. Think about your current situation. Are you satisfied being a total loser? If so, move on. If not, order my program NOW. It's as simple as that. I'm not about to beg you to order, because the fact is, you need me more than I need you. I'm already rich. You're not.

Whatever you decide, I'll be sipping martinis by the pool. And if you do happen to see me out in the real world, do me a favor and don't come and talk to me. I'm much too rich and important.

To Being a Lazy Millionaire,



Ordering Info:
To order the Rich Jerk Program today and gain access to the unorthodox online marketing strategies of one the most successful internet marketers in the world, click on the link below to order through Clickbank. You will receive INSTANT access to my program, which can be downloaded as an eBook, direct to your desktop in a matter of seconds. The cost of my program is a ridiculously low price of just $49.00. And I even offer a 45 day money back guarantee to any loser who can't figure out how to make money with my program.

Try my strategies for up to 45 days. If you aren't successful, I'll tell you that you are in the wrong profession, I'll question your IQ, but I'll also give you a 100% refund. I only require that you let me know which strategies didn't work for you, and how you used them. See my FAQ page for complete details. If I see that you're REALLY pathetic, I may even help you personally.

$49.00 is a ridiculously low price for this life-changing information. I feel like I'm practically giving you the keys to the kingdom here. That is why I am only TESTING this price for a short while, to see what kind of response it gets. I have sold my program very successfully at $199, so don't be surprised if you return later and see it back at full price. Compared to the $1,000 programs of those other ďguruĒ marketers or even the $100 junk flooding the net, mine is an extremely low price for a program that is far superior.

If you can't afford $49 to change your life, you simply deserve a miserable existence.

BONUS: I recently added an additional chapter to my ebook. In it I'll show you a few of my personal investment strategies that I use to make up to 20% per month in compounded interest on my money. And you can invest as little as $50, or as much as $100,000+. I will show you how to do the EXACT same thing. I've NEVER experienced a loss with these investments strategies. NEVER! By the way, I take orders 24 hours a day, so you can order my program anytime today. Even if it's 2:00am and you're drunk off your ass, you will still receive INSTANT access to my ebook.


  Recent Comment:

"I have to say after searching and buying a bunch of crap for many, many years, I know that with your info I can actually USE the info to do something. My hat's off to you. You surely aren't full of crap like all the other authors I have purchased info from in the past. You are also totally correct in that if you can't make a substantial income with this info you are pathetic."

John Groom - Geneva, FL


Hey, what are you doing reading down here? Didnít you order yet?......Oh, you must be one of those idiots thinking my program still sounds to good to be true. Well, if you are not convinced, I don't give a s#@%*. Go ahead and keep making your measly couple of grand every month, or whatever pathetic amount you make. When you are fed up, you'll be back. Youíve seen proof that I make millions. Youíve seen that I tell it like it is, without all the BS. Youíve seen that Iím a rich jerk with nothing to lose. You've even seen that I offer a 45 day money back guarantee! So if you aren't ready to order, you don't even deserve to be on my site. Go away NOW.


Or make the smart move and begin making money TODAY by ordering now!



*NOTICE* - Anyone caught selling illegal copies of our book will be reported to their billing company, their hosting company, and any other related companies for account closure. We will also follow up with a copyright infringement lawsuit in accordance with the The Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA).