North of Jewfish Creek
Tuesday, 10:45 a.m.
Dear Friend & Subscriber,
Find a need and fill it.
These six words represent the most valid, core advice which has
been given to would-be millionaires since the dawn of human ambition. Well,
guess what? In this issue, I am going to illuminate a need so many business
owners of America are so desperate for... that...
If You Find A Way To Fill It,
YOU Will Become a Multi-Millionaire!
Not only that, I am going to tell you how to go about finding
out how to fill this particular need. Mind you, I personally do not know exactly
how to fill this need... but... I do think I know how to find out how to
Frankly, this is not an opportunity that can be seized upon by
most of my readers. However, for one, two, or a few of you, what you are about
to read here is going to reveal a way you can make so much money, it should
satisfy your absolute wildest dreams of avarice.
The need I'm talking about is...
The Need Of Tens Of Thousands Of
Good, Honest Businessmen To Be Able
To Accept And Process Credit Card
To accept credit card orders, you must have what's known as a
"merchant account". This is simply an account you set up with a bank affiliated
with MasterCard and Visa. Through this account, you process all your MasterCard
and Visa credit card orders.
It's no big deal. Almost any business owner in the U.S. can get
one. Except, of course, unless you are in the seminar business. Or in the travel
club business. Or if you sell by any form of direct response like newspaper ads,
magazine ads, TV ads, or TV infomercials, or direct response radio spots, or
direct mail, or...
Any Of A Thousand Other
Ethical Ways Of Doing Business!
I hear new "horror stories" almost every week. Recently, I got a
call from an old friend in Manhattan. He's an honest, ethical guy I've known for
years. He told me he has done 9.4 million dollars' worth of credit card
business within the last 12-months or so. He also told me his bank just told
him... he's got 30-days before they terminate his merchant account!
As you know (if you've been reading my newsletters for some
time) the same thing previously happened to me.
And it's happening with greater and greater frequency... for
no good reason... to thousands of businessmen every single month.
Actually, there is good reason for many of these merchant
accounts being terminated. There are, for example, scammers who trick unwary
victims into buying massively overpriced merchandise or goods and services which
are never delivered at all. There are other outright thieves who, once they
obtain a person's credit card info over the phone or through the mail, use that
info to rack up thousands of dollars in fraudulent purchases for goods they
later sell to a fence or other dishonest people for 10¢ on the dollar.
And, of course, there are honest but stupid business people who
do not ship in a timely fashion, do not make adjustments or refunds promptly and
who are totally indifferent to the idea of providing good customer service.
All this creates about three billion dollars in losses
and chargebacks every year!
But the problem is... Visa, MasterCard and the banks make very
little (if any) effort to separate the good guys from the bad guys. They simply
refuse to take the trouble to evaluate businesses on a case-by-case basis. For
example, several years ago, there was a memo sent out by either Visa or
MasterCard (I forget which) that talked about all the scam artists involved in
the travel club business. So, you know what one bank did? They automatically...
and without discussion... terminated every merchant account on their
books which had the word "travel" in its name. It was a disaster. Several 100%
legitimate travel agencies who had been doing business for decades were
literally bankrupted by this one incredibly insensitive and moronic decision.
By the way, did you know all new applications for
merchant accounts by companies doing any kind of telemarketing whatsoever... are
now summarily rejected? Mind you, I'm not saying all new businesses involved in
"telephone scams" are being rejected... no... what I am saying is all companies
involved in telephone sales... even legitimate telephone sales... are
being automatically rejected.
Along with dozens of other what's considered "high-risk"
You know, there's been several robberies of convenience stores
in Florida recently by black teenagers. Hmn? I wonder what we should do about
this? Hey, I think I've got it...
Let's Simply Refuse To Let
Black People Shop At These
What a great idea! And it doesn't require any mental energy at
all. No pesky, time-consuming tasks like evaluating each black person on an
individual basis. See, this way, we can just refuse to deal with all of them.
This way, we can free up a lot of time and energy to deal with other important
aspects of our lives and businesses.
And Jews. I've got to confess, I've met a few of them I didn't
like over the years so I'm thinking about talking to the owner of a local marina
where I keep one of my boats about excluding Jews. Yeah, yeah... I know a lot of
Jews really are OK but I'm a busy guy so I say to hell with it... let's
ostracize the whole lot of them.
And all these damn Spanish-speaking types here in Miami and Los
Angeles. Let's restrict those suckers too. Sure, I know some of them are
hard-working, everyday people. And some of them are pretty good research
scientists, doctors, Nobel prize winners and stuff. But damnit, some of them
deal drugs so I say... let's reject them all.
Are you starting to see the brilliance of this way of thinking?
The sheer genius of it? And most of all, can't you see the efficiency and
time-saving aspects of this way of dealing with groups of people?
Hey man, thinking and evaluating people on an individual basis
takes way too much mental energy for me to mess with. I'm a busy guy. I've got a
business to run and profits to make. And I'm sure you feel the same way, don't
What's that? You say what I've just described is offensive
to you? You say Americans have made great strides in eliminating this kind of
mentality over the last 30-years?
Well, maybe we have. But, this kind of moronic mindset still
exists in enough of the U.S. population to make me just a tad ashamed of many of
my fellow Americans. And, if you have any doubts about this... just ask any
Black, any Jew, any Cuban/American or Mexican/American, any gay American, any...
oh hell, you get the idea. The point is...
But, my friend, not only does it suck on a personal level... it
also sucks on a business level. People who operate telephone scams
should not be permitted to have a merchant account (they shouldn't be allowed to
do business at all, for that matter)... but... people who use the telephone to
generate legitimate sales should no more be rejected on a group
basis than should Jews, Blacks, gays, etc.
The same holds true for people who do business via other forms
of direct response such as direct mail, TV ads, magazine and newspaper ads, etc.
In other words, it is unfair to persecute the innocent along with the guilty
just because they use the same "tools".
This problem is so bad, it has reached disastrous proportions. I
think it is fair to say my office, because of my newsletter, could be
characterized as "Action-Central" as far as info on direct marketing is
concerned. And I'm telling you...
The Inability To Get (Or Keep) A
Merchant Account Is The Single-Biggest
Problem Of A Major Portion Of The Entire
U.S. Direct Response Industry!
And there lies an enormous financial opportunity for one,
two, or a few of the people reading this newsletter.
Before I go on, however, let me say there are already several
people and companies out there who say they can solve this problem. But, mostly,
they can't. Perhaps they have helped some businesses but, every single piece of
feedback about them I've ever received has been very negative. This is true also
of just about every other offer I've seen from anyone who says they can get a
person a merchant account.
Look, I personally don't know exactly how to solve this
problem... but... I've got some ideas about it. It could happen like this: Let's
say one of my readers is somebody who is connected to the higher echelons of the
bank industry. I mean really connected. Not just somebody whose
brother-in-law is on the loan committee of some local S&L. Needless to say, this
good person should also have a huge amount of "entrepreneurial blood" oozing
around in his veins. And let's say this reader can somehow arrange a "sit down"
with some truly high-ranking international bank executives and
some high-ranking owners or executives of the Visa and MasterCard organizations.
OK, knowing he can do that, my first suggestion for this guy is
to read everything he can get his hands on concerning the credit card business
and merchant accounts. Then, after about a month of intense reading and
research, our would-be savior should start taking some airplane trips. To the
Cayman Islands... to Zurich, Switzerland... to London, England... and other
financial centers. He will seek out and dialogue with intelligent bankers,
intelligent investors and intelligent insurance providers like Lloyds of
And eventually, our guy (or gal) will go to MasterCard and Visa
and say something like:
"Look, you routinely refuse and/or terminate the
merchant account status of thousands of companies doing business via direct
response. This is somewhat understandable because there is some outright fraud
in this area, plus there are chargebacks and other difficulties. However, this
policy on your part is destroying many legitimate enterprises and depriving you
of billions in profits.
"I've a solution to this problem. I have formed a
company called 'Direct Response Merchant Services, Inc.' and I have set up a
foolproof way you never, ever again have to take a loss on a credit card
sale generated by direct response advertising.
"First, my company, through an arrangement with
Lloyds of London (or some other insurance carrier) is prepared to provide you
with a surety bond in the amount of $500,000,000 to guarantee all credit card
transactions processed through my organization.
"Secondly, to further increase your comfort level,
I have arranged for you to meet our major stockholders and Board of Directors
who are all substantial citizens with impeccable reputations."
OK, here's how this new company (DRMS) would operate: Suppose
some would-be direct response business person has tried and failed to get a
merchant account through normal channels and now he comes to you. What you do
first is, you have someone truly savvy in direct response investigate his
operation. You examine his products, his sales materials, his shipping
facilities, and his management. Suppose you find out he is one of two extremes:
He is either an outright fraud, or, as is often the case, a do-right businessman
who should not have been turned down before.
In the case of the latter, you set him up so he can process his
credit card transactions through DRMS at the fair and honest low-rate he should
have been given in the first place. You do, of course, add a little percentage
for yourself... but... you don't get abusive about it because you are an ethical
In the former case (where the merchant account seeker was an
outright fraud), you summarily reject him and via your "Scam Alert"
You Put Out The Word
On This Slimebag!
You see, if a guy's a scammer, what I want is not only for him
to be rejected for a merchant account... I also want him driven out of our
Suppose however, the operation you're checking out falls
somewhere in the middle of those two extremes. This will often be the case. You
see, all forms of direct response selling generates a higher rate of chargebacks
than walk-in retail sales for a variety of reasons. And it's through no fault of
the seller. One of those reasons is the customer is not able to physically
examine the merchandise before he buys it and thus, he is sometimes
disappointed. Another reason, I suspect is, it is easier to ask for a refund
(which is not deserved) from a seller you never have to meet on a face-to-face
In any case, what you should do with these companies is...
simply rate them based on the degree of risk they represent... just
A Life Insurance Company Does
After They Have Given You A
Physical By Their M.D.!
And you charge accordingly. If the company is operating honestly
but has above-average chargebacks, you insist on a higher percentage for
processing their orders. And, you insist they keep a certain amount of fungolas
in a reserve account that is debited against chargebacks.
You know, a variation of all this is DRMS wouldn't process
transactions at all... but... merely insure them.
You'd think the banks and MasterCard and Visa would have worked
all this out on their own, wouldn't you? But really, they can't. First, they
don't understand direct response well enough. And secondly, in the case of the
banks, they're too busy doing the paperwork necessary to be bailed out by the
FDIC because of all those recent mutual fund frauds. Not to mention all the
billions they've poured into those rock-solid countries like Argentina and
Make no mistake, my friend, I have just described to you a
situation that really can make some intelligent entrepreneur a
multi-millionaire. I know I don't have all the answers and the sketchy scenario
I just described is incomplete. However, it should be enough to point you in the
right direction if you've got the right stuff.
Now listen, I am aware there are a few service bureaus which
will process credit card transactions for direct marketers. Especially if they
themselves (the service bureaus) ship the merchandise. And, for low-grossing
online vendors, there's PayPal and www.2checkout.com. But, these organizations
can only solve a minute fraction of the problem. What's needed is someone to set
about solving this problem in a major way. And I'm telling you... if
you are the one who fills this need...
You Can Become Rich
Beyond Your Wildest Dreams!
Guess what? The information you just read (except for the
mutual fund and online tidbits) was written and published by me on June 26,
1991... which is nearly 13-years ago!
And nobody has stepped up to the plate and solved this problem.
So, it looks like I'm going to have to do it myself.
I dare say I'm the most "well-connected" guy in all of direct
marketing. My newsletter is now read in 90 countries... besides... the
U.S. Because of this, I get feedback from all over the world. You know what?
Some of you (if you were savvy enough) would pay me more than $10,000 per day
just to read my incoming e-mails.
Simply because my incoming e-mails reveal more little-known
(VERY little-known) ways to make and solve direct marketing problems than
anyplace else on earth.
Anyway, because of my incoming stream of e-mails, I've been made
aware of what I truly believe to be a "goldmine" breakthrough when it comes to
credit card processing. I'm NOT going to give you the name of the company nor am
I going to give you the name of the man who is the head hauncho of this deal.
I've told a few people about it and, in one case, it majorly
"backfired" on me. This one guy was doing about 10,000 orders per day through
the Internet for a weight-loss product. He was selling this totally bogus
product on a "til forbid" credit card basis. "Til forbid" means you can keep
sending the product and "dinging" the customer's credit card month-after-month
until he "forbids" you to do it anymore.
You CAN make a lot of money with "til forbid" offers (sometimes
called "continuity offers") but, they are fraught with a lot of danger.
Especially if someone is selling something phony or, someone who just plain,
flat-out does not run a very tight ship.
In the case of the guy selling the diet product (who,
incidentally, is about to be indicted), he processed several hundred thousand
dollars in orders in about 10-days and, a lot of them went bad.
Which means my "goldmine" credit card guy had to eat an awful
amount of money.
Well, if I can help it, that's NOT going to happen again. At
least NOT from people to whom I recommend this service. You see, from now on,
before I recommend this credit card processing service to anyone, they are first
going to have to have...
The Halbert Seal Of Approval!
That means, before you can get through to this "goldmine" credit
card outfit, you are first going to have to get past ME!
So, if you're a slimebag running a scam, selling a phony
product, or using fraudulent advertising, you ain't gonna pass through the
On the other hand, if you are deserving, I will hook you up with
what I believe to be the most dependable merchant account processor on earth.
Are you interested in any of this? (You should be for back-up
insurance reasons... even if... you already have a merchant account.) If so,
you're going to have to e-mail me at NoSexGary@aol.com. You're gonna have
to give me your REAL name, your REAL phone number and a brief description of
your business. If I think you're legitimate (and I'll know a lot of you are NOT
legitimate just by knowing your name), I'll call you back and ask you very
detailed and probing questions about you and your business. If you've got
something to hide, don't even waste your time contacting me.
If you pass muster (and, it's my guess, most of you will) I'll
hook you up with the "goldmine" credit card guy.
Look, I'm not doing this because it's the passion of my life.
I'm doing it because I've been waiting 13-years for someone else to fill this
vacuum and nobody has.
Plus, I feel very badly (truly) for legitimate guys who can't
get a merchant account because of the laziness and stupidity of American
And, as you can probably guess, dumbass Bush and his invasion of
privacy "Patriot Act" has made things exponentially worse.
By the way, did you know George W. Bush has the lowest I.Q. of
any president we've ever had?
Gosh, who woulda guessed?
Gary C. Halbert
P.S. Soon there
will be a good reason for you to visit my website every day. Why? Because I'm
going to start publishing a daily "Halbertism" which you will find
informative, funny, lucrative and sometimes, just plain insane.
Copyright © Gary C. Halbert. All Rights