North of Jewfish Creek

Dear Friend & Subscriber

I just came back from attending John Reese's seminar on Internet marketing.

It was, hands down, the best, most informative seminar I've ever attended.

Actually, it was almost too much. He packed so much useful info about Internet marketing into three days, it set every attendee's mind literally on fire. In fact, my mind was so fired up, I've been suffering a temporary "brain meltdown".

I once told Ed Dale I thought I knew more about how to increase website profits than anyone else in the world.

What bullshit. John knows... so damn much... about how to profit from the Internet, he makes me (and everyone else I've ever met) seem like we are just learning the alphabet... while he... is already writing best-selling novels.

When it comes to making Internet profits, John Reese is truly the 500-pound gorilla. Nobody else can touch him. If you ever get a chance to go to a seminar where he is teaching, you are insane if you don't attend. I told him at the seminar he had presented me with a challenge. Which was, "How the hell am I going to take credit for all your ideas and breakthroughs?"

He made a very gracious (and I believe heartfelt) reply. He said, "Gary, you can take credit for a lot of this information because it was your newsletters (and the information from a few other marketing gurus) that blazed the trail for me and got me going."

Truth be told, he would have gotten to where he is without me. But, I am conceited enough to believe my teachings and writings may have shaved a few years off the time it took him to get where he is.

If it's not true, don't tell me. I've found it useful to believe what I LIKE to believe, whether it's true or not.

Anyway, after all that, is there anything else you need to know... even if... you did attend John's seminar?

I think there is... and... I'm going to give my own seminar which I think will give out some very important info never before revealed. My seminar is titled:

How To WRITE A Website Pitch

That Will Make You Rich!

One comment I made at John's seminar was about how I believe all Internet marketers should study non-Internet marketing... and... pre-Internet marketing.

You see, if someone already knows how to write a great print ad or direct mail letter, he'll be able to put all the website secrets he knows on steroids!

Listen: All writing of sales pitches are related. Learning to write a great direct mail pitch will help you write a great newspaper ad, a TV commercial, etc. But, there are differences between certain things you need to know to write for each different media. Much will be the same but, there will be important differences...

Especially When It Comes

To Writing A Website Pitch!

And, I'm gonna teach you how. My seminar will probably be held somewhere in the first two weeks of May. I've given seminars that range in cost from $7,000 to $12,000. This one's NOT going to be nearly as expensive. It's NOT going to have a "give away" price either... but... it IS going to be low-priced enough so money will NOT be an excuse for anyone not to attend.

I don't know exactly where this seminar will be held. But, I do know it will be in either Miami or Orlando. It's going to depend on the best hotel for rooms and a conference center my Trusty Assistant, Theresa can arrange.

I'll tell you all the details very soon... but... in the meantime, DON'T make any other plans for the first couple weeks in May.

In the meantime, I've got something to offer you. I think you're going to be VERY interested in this. And, here's a little secret: My brain was so impacted with all the GREAT info from John Reese's seminar, I had Theresa write the copy that follows. So, take it away Theresa...


Whether you're a novice, intermediate or a skilled copywriter...   
you need to know...

How To Get Your Hands On

"The Motherload"!

Dear Friend & Subscriber,

By now, I'm sure you've read a number of my newsletters I publish for free on my website.

And I'm sure by now, you realize I am a no bullshit, teach-them-what-they-need-to-know kinda guy.

But what you may not know is, I have NOT given you everything I have to offer on my website.

You see, in addition to haven written hundreds of newsletters over the years, I have also written hundreds of sales letters. Sales letters for myself and for my clients. Pitches selling everything from high-ticket seminars ($6,950)... to low-end books ($19.95)... and of course, everything in between.

Last week I attended a seminar where a number of attendees had what I consider, enormous Internet skills. They know their stuff down cold when it comes to getting any and everywhere on the worldwide web.

But, I have to admit, I was surprised at their lack of marketing skills. What good is it to be able to find your way around the web... if... you don't stand a chance of selling anything?

That's when it hit me! These people (and I'm sure many others like them) need my help. And I remember my mama always telling me...

"Teach Them By Example!"

But before I get into the "guts" of this letter, I have a little exercise for you to do. Let me ask you a couple questions and be honest when you answer them. Since no one will see your answers, go ahead and put a check mark () in each block where the situation applies to you:

Question 1:

Do you cringe at the mere thought of having to come
  up with a "killer" headline?
  Question 2: Do you get writer's block knowing you basically
  have the first 30 to 60 seconds... the first paragraph or two... to catch your reader's attention?

  Question 3:

Do you suffer from migraine headaches trying to write body
  copy that whets your potential customer's appetite... forcing him to read from one paragraph to the next to the next?
  Question 4: Do you come up empty on "bullets"?
  Question 5: Do you flop around like a fish out of water in your closing?
  Question 6: Do you need a captivating P.S. to pull the "maybe I'll buy"
  customers over to the paying side?
  Question 7: Do you go blank when it comes time to write an order coupon?

If you checked off even one of the above boxes, then you need my...

"Motherload Collection

Of Marketing Masterpieces!"

What's amazing about this "Motherload Collection" is the wide variety of subjects... the vast amount of copywriting techniques... the humongous examples of strategies... that, when applied to your advertising (whether online, direct mail letters, newspapers or otherwise) will improve your results...


And... Instantly!

I've put together a combination of hundreds of sales pieces including sales letters, newspaper ads, and website promotions which you can use as a template to get your own advertising in high gear. Here's a taste of some of the HEADLINES you'll get:


Here's How You Can Get

The Tapes Of My $6,250.00

"Seminar Of The Century"



Would You Accept A Bribe Worth

$2,855 To Renew Your Subscription

To Gary's Newsletter?


How To Use The Secrets Of "Killer"

Advertising To Get More New Customers Than

Your Business Can Handle!


Free Video Tapes Reveal

11-New Ways To Make Extra

Money In 1996!


An Open Letter To Anyone Who

Has Just Finished Reading My Book And

Is Now Ready To Make Some Serious Money!


An Embarrassing Situation

Revealed By Gary's

"Trusty Assistant" Theresa


The Amazing Marketing Miracles

Created By Sir Gary Of Halbert!


Free Report Reveals

46 Hot Products You Can Sell

By Computer Or Mail Order!


An Open Letter To Every Attractive

Woman In Miami Who Is Serious About

Having A Career As A Professional Model

But maybe headlines come to you easy. Maybe you're one of the lucky few who can rattle one off the top of your head. But then... ah then... you have to start writing! And you have to write such compelling copy in the first opening paragraphs, your mind goes blank. Where to start?

With examples like these, you ought to be able to get out of the "starting gate":

     If you would like to double or triple your income in 1996, this may be the most important letter you will ever read.

     Here is why: Until a short time ago, there was a place in Key West, Florida called "The College of Millionaires". It was created by a man named Gary C. Halbert. What Halbert and his "college" became famous for, was giving intense "secret" 3-1/2 day seminars... which cost... each attendee $6,950... just to get in the door! (NOTE: This price did not include travel or hotel expenses!)


    Would you like to know all about several low-cost advertising "tricks" that can get you more new business than you could ever hope to handle?


     If you are already a professional model or, if you'd like to be, this is going to be the most exciting message you will ever read.


     On the other hand, if you want to be a model... but... you don't really have what it takes... this message can save you thousands of dollars and a great deal of misery and heartbreak.    


     I am sending you, along with this letter, a small gift.


     If you have just finished reading my book, "How To Make Maximum Money In Minimum Time" you already know my advertising secrets have generated millions of dollars.


     Would you like to get your share of some of this money? If so, here is good news. Recently, I conducted a seminar (yadda yadda)


     Do you have the guts to do... whatever it takes... to protect yourself, your family and your home?    


     Here's a true story that makes me feel a little bit stupid.


     Have I ever got a deal for you!


     Do you remember the letter I sent to you with a $1.00 bill attached to the first page?


     Have I ever got a deal for you!


     Listen: I am about to make you the most interesting proposition you've ever heard. And, if you go along with my idea, you can get the tapes of my mind-blowing seminar (and all the other material that came with the seminar) at no cost whatsoever!


     My name is Larry Williams and I'm going to get right down to business.


     I'm going to fill you in on a little secret and you must keep it between you and me. You see, if the "Head Hauncho" found out what I'm doing...


It Could Cost Me

My Job!


     A few days ago I sent you a 12-page letter with a free audio tape scotch-taped to the first page.

If you can make it past those two "hurdles" (writing a "killer" headline and a captivating introduction), the next part of writing copy ought to come more easily to you. After all, it's basically writing a story. A story about why the customer should give you his hard-earned money. Does your story... your "body copy"... compel the reader to continue reading? Compare your own copy with these tidbits from my "Motherload Collection":

     I was embarrassed. I didn't know what to do. I felt like a fool. So, what I did was, I put a fifty dollar bill on the table, mumbled something about how that should cover lunch... and... I got the hell out of there. I went back to work, closed the door to my office and buried myself in work. I didn't feel like talking to anybody, especially Lauren.


     In these FREE video tapes and FREE reports, Halbert teaches you the right way to use these powerful money-making weapons... plus... how to raise money without borrowing... how to get movie and TV stars to help you with your selling efforts... how to get free advertising... and... many other little-known insider secrets. Here is a brief "preview" of what you will learn when you watch these FREE tapes and read the FREE reports:


     That's the bad news. The good news is, before closing the doors, Halbert gave a "mini-version" of his famous "Seminar for Millionaires" and... for the first time...


     This is a "win-win" deal for everybody. I get new subscribers to "The Gary Halbert Letter" in the fastest way possible... and... the people (like you) who are mailing the sales letters get both "hands-on" experience... and... good profits! Here are the most common questions people are asking:


     Now, I've also got to tell you that, in addition to the money you've got to lay out for this incredible offer, you must also know there are two "strings" attached:

STRING #1:      You must listen to all the tapes before (yadda yadda)

STRING #2:      You must schedule your hot seat with me before (yadda   yadda)


     Before I tell you in detail about everything you get, I'd like to take a moment to explain why I've decided to make this offer. As I've often said, whenever (yadda yadda)


Here then, is a list of all the components which, except for #1, I am free to tell you about in glowing detail:
COMPONENT #1:  Complete access to my secret network of "money

people" as described above.

COMPONENT #2:  Approximately 30 hours of video tape (VHS)
COMPONENT #3:   Approximately 37 hours of audio tape (on cassettes).
COMPONENT #4:  All seminar "pass out" materials.


     If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, you should try Gary Halbert's "crazy idea". You'll learn all about it when you watch the FREE video tapes and you should remember this: That "crazy letter idea" brought in...


     But, the people Lee likes to train most of all... are fathers. Men with families to protect. Men who take very seriously the obligation to protect their wives, children, other loved ones and their homes. "The worst thing a man can face" says Lee, "is to have his family attacked and not be able to do anything about it."


     Until recently, nobody knew about this except certain people (like Princess Diana!) who were very rich and who lived in Europe. Now, however, some of the most famous faces in Hollywood have learned about this secret treatment and they are raving about it. In fact, Lisa showed me some "before and after" pictures of Suzanne Sommers and you wouldn't believe the difference. She looks years younger!
     The attendees had to pay $6,250 to get this info. They also had to pay it all up front (no credit, no discounts) and they had to spring for their own hotel and travel expenses. And, since the attendees came from all over the globe (one man came from France and brought a private interpreter; another flew in from Johannesburg, South Africa), many people paid over $15,000 to $20,000 to get this info! And, if you accept my proposition, you get it all...

Free! Free! Free! Free!


     STOP MESSING AROUND WITH YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW! This is the real, no bullshit way to financial independence. My attendees are raving about this seminar even though...


     But, you've got to know exactly how to do it. You know, it took Halbert 15 years to discover this neat little trick... but now... by simply watching the FREE video tapes, you can learn how to use this dirt-cheap little money-maker in just 15 minutes!


     OK, that's it. You've just read a detailed description of what you can learn by watching the video tapes of Halbert's recent seminar and reading the exact same money-making reports he gave everybody who attended. Why is Halbert willing to send you these reports and video tapes... and... send them FREE? The answer is simple: It's a bribe! It's a shameless bribe to get you to sign up for a trial subscription to his unique marketing and money-making newsletter called "The Gary Halbert Letter".


And every good copywriter knows you HAVE to break up a sales letter or newspaper ad or even website copy with "eye relief". One key way to do that is with "bullets".

"Bullets" are usually very short... and very concise... hard-hitting tasty nuggets that make your reader say, "Yes! I want to know that!" or "Yes! I need to have that!" or "Yes! That describes me exactly!" And once you've got them saying, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" then, my friend, you've got them right where you want them...

Ready To Fork Over

Their Money To You!

Let's see if I can get you saying, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" with any of these bullets from my "Motherload Collection":

  • Are you a salesman who needs more leads?

  • Do you have a furniture store, a restaurant, a car dealership, a hot dog stand or some other kind of establishment you'd like to see swamped with customers?

  • Are you an M.D., a dentist, a chiropractor, an optometrist, a therapist or any other kind of health care professional who would like to see your waiting room just bursting with new patients?

  • How to use envelopes to "induce guilt".

  • The exact words you should use to write a money-back guarantee that... increases sales... and... reduces refunds!

  • The most important key to making really serious money.

  • Examples of winning formulas and "double customization".

  • A good "boilerplate" P.S. that can make your sales letters twice as effective!

  • The ultimate layout for an order coupon.

  • 8 things you should have at hand before you start to write an ad or direct mail piece.

  • A special treatment a woman should give to her face when she turns 30!

  • Another special treatment a woman should give to her face when she turns 40!

  • Another special treatment a woman should give to her face when she turns 50!

  • And finally, a special treatment a woman should give her face every day after she turns 60!

  • Where to get a special outfit costing only $38.00 which will make a woman's body look up to 25 pounds lighter... the moment she puts it on!

Another way to bring "eye-relief" to your reader without losing him, is to throw in occasional "subheadings". These priceless jewels can accomplish one of two things:

1.   It can bring the preceding paragraph to a head... or...

2.   It can inform the reader of the next direction you are heading.

Subheadings do not always have to be short. Nor do they have to be long. Sometimes a simple statement works best. Other times a question is posed.

Want to get a sneak peek at some of the countless subheadings you'll be able to tweak and twist for your own advertising? I thought so...

I Know How You Feel

Halbert Will Not Process Your

Credit Card Charge For At Least



Why Would Anyone Pay Almost $7,000

To Attend A 3-1/2 Day Seminar?

How To Make Your Ad In The Yellow Pages Pull

In 400% More Business Than It Does Now...

At No Extra Charge!


Who Needs This Secret?


Here's The Clincher!


You Should Pass

On This Offer!

An Amazing Secret That Can Make

Your Newspaper Advertising Up To

750% More Profitable!


Your Check Will Never Be Cashed...

OR... Your Credit Card Will

Never Be Charged!


What Could Anyone Learn In Just A Few Hours

That Could Offer Such Outstanding Results?


More Than 7,300,000 Replies!

 What shocks me as I read other people's pitches, is their inability of closing the deal. Not necessarily the "give-me-your-money" ordering instructions. What I'm talking about is the segue, the transition... into why your customer should put his hands in his pockets and hand you his moola.

Here are a few examples from my "Motherload Collection":  

     If you think you can get what I have to offer from some $10.00 "Lazy Man's" book you are sadly misguided. If you think you can buy some mail order course or get all this somewhere else for $30.00 to $40.00 or some such price, you are welcome to try. However, if you sincerely want to stop messing around and finally get the facts from someone who knows his business cold, then, my friend, I'd love to meet you.


     How much is your subscription to my newsletter? A lot. In fact, I suspect when you see the price on the subscription form (it's inside the yellow sheet of paper enclosed with this letter) you are going to gasp.

That's OK with me... I know what I am worth! So, after you recover from your mild case of "sticker shock" try to remember:

This Offer Is 100% Risk-Free...

And... The Price Is Less
Than 1% Of The Value!


     Here's the deal: If you will agree to a 1-year trial subscription to his newsletter, Halbert will send you all of the video tapes and the money-making reports you've just read about... and... he'll send you all this FREE! And, to make it even better, if you decide to cancel your subscription at any time within the year, he will immediately send you a full and complete pro-rata refund... and...
He Will Still Let You Keep The Free
Video Tapes And Reports!

But no matter how compelling your headline, your body copy, your bullets, your subheads, your closing, you will always find some customers still need a little push, a little last minute nudge, to convince them your product or service is exactly what they need. And just how do you accomplish that?

I'm glad you asked.

It's called a "P.S." A "postscript" an "afterthought."

Sometimes, I'll tug one more time at my reader's greed glands by throwing in a bonus in the P.S. Other times I'll remind them of my refund policy. And a good P.S. is to let them know there is a deadline for them to act.

And speaking of "greed glands", I know by now you're all worked up and want to see a few samples of my own P.S.'s. Being the "guru of giving", here you go:

P.S.   Would you like to have a free 100-year-old silver dollar? If so, just read the enclosed "HOT FLASH" pink sheet and you'll see an extra "bonus reason" why you should give this letter your immediate attention!


P.S.   Of course, we always stand behind Gary's refund policy. If for any reason at all (or as he says, "for no reason at all") you decide to cancel your renewal subscription, you'll receive a full pro-rata refund for the issues not mailed to you.


P.S.   It would be appreciated if you would call even if you are going to pay by check. I need to know the response to this offer as soon as possible in order to make sure it doesn't get out of hand.

I guarantee, you will not find a better "swipe file" of such world-class marketing anywhere else on the entire planet. Some will be in letter format, others in newspaper format, and for those of you hot on the 'net, in website format. It's a HUGE 3-ring binder and something this huge and this awesome cannot be delivered to you via the Internet.

What you've got to remember is... no matter what format I used originally, you can take those same concepts, tactics, layout, techniques... and twist and tweak them for your own marketing pitches. Consider them your "roadmap" to riches!

For some, my "Motherload Collection Of Marketing Masterpieces!" will be a "basic training camp". These ads can get you out of the trenches and onto the playing field!

For others, my "Motherload Collection Of Marketing Masterpieces!" can get you out of the poor house and into mansions (like the ones Robin Leach featured on "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous")!

And finally, for those who have Internet know-how... but... have been missing the boat for true independence and financial freedom, my "Motherload Collection Of Marketing Masterpieces!" can get you from being tied to your computer waiting for your ship to come in... to... sailing the 7-seas yourself any day of the week!

I'm not some college professor with a bunch of "theories" about how to write copy. I'm not an ad agency trying to get you to spend a fortune so I can get fat on a 15% commission. What I am is a down-in-the-dirt, shirt-sleeve-rolled-up marketing master who knows what it means to have to make his advertising work. I have to know my stuff because I've got a Costa Rican fiancée to keep happy, my suite in Miami to keep up, #1 Assistant Theresa to pay, and on and on and on!

Here's How To Order!

All you have to do is write your name and address and the words "Motherload" on a piece of paper and mail it to us with your check or money order (sorry, no credit cards for this hot deal). Your check needs to be made payable to "Cherrywood Publishing" in the amount of $297.00. I'm even going to "eat" the cost of shipping this box to you! You can send your order by FedEx, UPS or even "snail mail" to:

Cherrywood Publishing

3101 S.W. 34th Ave. #905-467
Ocala, FL  34474

That's all there is to it. As soon as I receive your order, I will send the 3-ring binder to you immediately by Priority, First-Class Mail.

There's nothing more I can say about this collection of masterpieces... except...

They Are Priceless! 


OK, remember Theresa wrote all that copy and assembled all the examples. NOT me. I SWEAR. I did none of it. It's pretty darn compelling, isn't it?

Anyway, she asked me what we should charge for "The Motherload". I think this is a priceless collection but, we're going to let it go for $297.00.

And guess what? I've decided what I'm going to charge for my seminar I'm going to hold in May, "How To WRITE A Website Pitch That Will Make You Rich!" It's $2,700.00.

And guess what else? If you buy "The Motherload" right now, I'll take $1,000.00 off the price of my seminar if you decide you want to attend.

The deal is simple. You spend only $297.00 for a priceless "swipe file"... plus... you get a $1,000 discount off the price of my seminar if you decide to attend. (NOTE: "The Motherload" all by itself should vastly improve your ability to write sales copy... even if you don't come to my seminar. But, if you do attend my seminar, you'll get information and energy that can't be transmitted in print which will put your ability to write world-class advertising copy... literally on steroids!)

Once again, it's easy to order. All you have to do is write your name and address on a piece of paper with the words "Gary's Motherload Collection" and send it immediately with your check (sorry, no credit cards accepted for this hot tamale) in the amount of $297.00 made payable to "Cherrywood Publishing" to:

Cherrywood Publishing

3101 S.W. 34th Ave. #905-467

Ocala, FL  34474

That's all there is to it. As soon as Theresa gets your check, she'll send you "The Motherload"... and... in the meantime, I'll be working as fast as I can to get the details of my upcoming seminar sent to you.

   Gary C. Halbert
"The Best Website Copywriter
 In The World?"

P.S. I think I am the best website copywriter in the world. Again, if I'm not, don't tell me. It's a vacant title and, I'm claiming it!

P.P.S. If you want to check out John Reese AKA The 500 pound gorilla's site it is at


Copyright © 2003 Gary C. Halbert.  All Rights Reserved.