W-A-Y West of Jewfish Creek

Dear Friend & Subscriber,

By the time you receive this letter, I, Sir Gary of Halbert, the Ravin' Maven of Marketing, shall have fled the drizzly state of California and skied out to sunny Florida.

As you know, the purpose of this letter is not to teach you how to invest your money. No. The purpose of this letter is to help you make more money. However, having acknowledged that, let me now say this: I have stumbled onto a situation in Florida that maybe, just maybe, is worth mentioning in this letter.

Even though it concerns an investment idea rather than a money-making one.

Anyhow, what happened is that, last month, when I'm in Fort Lauderdale teaching at one of those high-priced ($5,000 for 2-1/2 days) marketing boot camps, Paulette and I decide to go shopping. What we are shopping for is a little house on a canal near the Port Everglades entrance to the ocean and/also, maybe a charter boat operation we could invest in for pleasure and profit.

Well, we didn't end up buying either one. We did discover, however, that Florida real estate is breath-takingly cheap when compared to California properties. And, we also discovered that getting into the charter boat business is more of a hassle than we, personally, are willing to endure.

So, what did we buy? I can still hardly believe it. You see, we went and spent a big wad of our hard-earned money and...

We Bought A Boat Slip!

Listen: There are thousands of wealthy boat owners in Florida and more coming in every day. Likewise, there are thousands of boat slips in which those owners can dock their boats. But... there are not thousands of great boat slips.

And, what makes a great boat slip, you ask? OK, for one thing, it would have to be located in a big, modern, first-class marina that has every facility you could imagine. For another, it would need to be in a marina that is near the ocean.

Think about it. If you wanted to go fishing or diving, you wouldn't want to have to chug along in a canal for two or three hours -- just to get to the ocean -- now, would you?

In any case, what's happening now is, a few of the scarce, really first-class luxury marinas are starting to "condo-ize" their docks and boat slips. In other words, in some cases, what you can do now is buy a boat slip instead of renting it.

This has several advantages. First, you never have to worry about having a place to dock your boat. Secondly, it can be an income-producing investment because, when you are not using the slip, the marina will rent it to other boat owners and manage everything for you and you get to keep 70%+ of the money.

So, how much does it cost to buy a "condo-ized boat slip" and what should you care?

Good questions. Look, as far as I'm concerned, Bahia Mar in Fort Lauderdale is the best marina in South Florida and that's where I'll be (in slip b-216) for nearly all of January and much of 1989. Bahia Mar has about 350 boat slips and, the ones that are being condo-ized range in price from $125,000 to $340,000 and they are being snapped up...

Faster Than 1-Per Day

When you "buy" a slip (actually you're technically buying the leasehold rights) at Bahia Mar, you get a lot for your money. You get the use of all the facilities of the luxurious Bahia Mar Hotel, you get telephone, fax, computer and cable TV hook-ups. You get "room service" directly to your boat and so on.

Now, why should you care about all this? Hmn? Maybe I can make it clear by whomping a little tale on you? Once upon a time, (just three years ago), a guy decides to buy into one of these condo boat slip deals in a marina in Key Largo called the Ocean Reef Club. (By the way, I was there with Ed Mayer, the "Dean of Direct Mail," once, and, as we were relaxing on the deck of a luxury yacht, he said, "I wonder what all the poor people are doing today?")

Forgive me, I digress. So, back to the guy who buys that boat slip -- what he does is, he pays $250,000 for it!

Can you imagine that? $250,000 for a place to park a boat? Well, here's the good part: That guy recently sold his slip and...

He Got $595,000 For It!

Not too shabby, eh? Let's see, turning $250,000 into $595,000 means that, in just 36 months, he got...

A 238% Return On His Investment!

You know, somehow it seems to me that that's a better deal than most folks are getting from the stock market. And, if you want to check it out, I suggest you call a delightful young lady named Maura A. Brassil and her number is...

(305) 764-2233

And, there's another thing I want you to do and do it right now! And, what's that, you ask? I want you to...

Stop Bitching!

I know. I know. You didn't sign up for a letter to learn how to buy a boat slip, did you? No. No. No-ooo. You subscribed so I could teach you how to make money not invest it, right?

OK, OK. As a reward for your patience, howsabout I open the door for you on the biggest money-making opportunity I've ever come across? Would that make things square?

Geez, The Things I Gotta Do!

Hark unto me. Listen: During the last couple of years, I've done an enormous amount of public speaking. Not only that, I've been a featured instructor at several of those $5,000-a-pop marketing boot camps. Moreover, this newsletter is read by the vast majority of the people who really count in the field of direct marketing. And, as you know, I do a lot of "self-aggrandizing advertising." I'm currently "starring" in a commercial on Financial News Network (FNN); you can see my self-centered ads in DM News, Investors Daily, The Wall Street Journal, The L.A. Times, etc.; you can hear me on cassettes and on the radio... and on and on and on.

So what? How does any of this put a buck in your pocket?

Hold on Buckwheat, I'll get to it. I promise.

OK now, where was I? Oh yeah, I was telling you about all the stuff I do in the name of unmitigated conceit. So anyway, the latest piece of propaganda I've come up with is a report titled "16 Amazing Secrets You Can Use To Sell Anything To Anyone Without Ever Meeting Them In Person". Many of you have that report. However, for those of you who don't, you need to know it consists of 16 sections, most of which are made up of back issues of this newsletter.

Well, I don't mean to brag (?) but, this is the most well-received piece of work I've ever published. People call and write me constantly about it. Some say they've read it 10 times. Most say this report has more valid money-making ideas than anything else they've ever read. One guy even said that reading the last two sections prevented him from suicide.

Etc. Look, I'm not trying to sell you on buying this report. Most of you have already read most of this stuff anyway. What I am trying to communicate is that, foolishly or not, there now seems to be legions of people all over the U.S. who seem to think I've got something on the ball and who want to work with me.

You'll see the significance of this in a moment. But first, just to make sure we're both on the same wavelength, I want you to read section #3 of my report which I am reprinting here in its entirety.


How To Get As Much Money As
You Need To "Roll Out" Your Project
And Get It Without Borrowing!

   My newsletter goes out all over the world. Many of my subscribers are extremely successful and many of them have enormous amounts of money.

   These people are in contact with me on an almost daily basis and they are always asking my opinion of different areas of their business activities. Sometimes they want my opinion on a person they may or may not decide to hire. Other times they want to know if I think their current marketing campaign could be improved. Often, they send me their ads and sales letters for critique.

   And so on.

   However, one of the most common questions I am asked is if I know about any new and tested ideas in which they can invest money.

   Now, let me tell you something: If you have a totally unproven idea that you are "hoping" will work, then, I probably can not help you. On the other hand, if you have an idea that you have tested with good results then, my friend, I may be able to direct you to one or more people who may very well be willing to totally finance your business in return for a share of your profits.

   Look, testing your ideas will cost you some money. However, when you read Section 5 of this report, you will learn how to rest an ad in a daily newspaper at the lowest possible cost. And, if you are a real hustler, you can use the info in Section 9 to mail thousands of sales letters virtually free.

   Besides that, if you decide to test your idea via "conventional" direct mail, it should only cost you $1,500.00 or so if you are willing to do most of the work (addressing, sealing, stuffing etc.) yourself. So anyway, once you do your test and you have actual numbers then, here is what you do. You write me a letter something like this:

Dear Gary:

Sometime ago I had an idea for selling a report my wife wrote on "How To Lose Weight Without Starving" and I wrote a newspaper ad offering her report for sale. I ran the ad in the Podunk Daily News which has a circulation of 53,000 and the ad cost me $1,200.00 for a 1-time insertion.

I priced the report at $12.00 plus $1.50 postage and it costs me about $3.50 to fill an order. Therefore, every order yields up $10.00 in "contribution to overhead." My ad pulled in 220 orders for a total gross of $2,970.00.

At $3.50 to fill an order it cost me $770.00 to fill all my orders. Therefore, my total costs ($770.00 to fill orders and $1,200.00 to pay for the ad) were $1,970.00 which, when subtracted from my gross of $2,970.00 left me a bottom-line profit of...


Please let me know if you know anyone who would be interested in funding this project for a share of the profit.


          So & So

   O.K., as soon as I receive such a letter from you or someone else, what I do is, I immediately put the word out to my network of potential investors and usually there is some very fast action!

   Think about it and, if you ever need funding to promote your proven ideas, I welcome your call.

   By the way, my number is...


Okay, you got all that?

Now, here's the thing: People are responding to my report in general and, section #3 in particular, in droves! People are coming to me with valid tested ideas and, there's no way in the world I can handle all this stuff myself.

But, it would truly be a crying shame if I let all this go to waste.

Want proof? Check this out. A guy calls me for an appointment and then comes to my office. His story: He's an insurance agent and he's written (and published) a little book titled "How To Save A Fortune On Your Auto Insurance." Then, not knowing any better, he tells me he created his own sales letter and mailed it to...

A Resident List!

And, even though such a list should not work, he told me he got a 5.8% cash-with-order response!

Do you realize what that means? It's very simple. It means that with a little savvy list selection, he should be able to mail something like maybe...

70 Million Letters At A Huge Profit!

By the way, here is an exact copy (sans name) of the letter this man sent to me.

Dear Gary,

     I recently purchased your book entitled "16 Amazing Secrets You Can Use To Sell Anything To Anyone Without Ever Meeting Them In Person" after reading your excellent advertisement in the Los Angeles Times (10/3).

     After receiving this publication in a very surprising short period of time, I eagerly read through it from the front to the back, completely. After reading section three, Roll Out, I am going to take you up on your offer, here go's...

     I have the hottest and most desired book out, period! As you can see from the enclosed literature, my exciting block-buster entitled "How To Save A Fortune On Your Auto Insurance" could be one of the best selling books of the century. This outstanding publication can be marketed nationwide and with updates every couple years this book has an unlimited life. Can you remember when insurance rates went down? They only keep getting higher and higher. Let your mind wander with the possibilities after reading the enclosed literature I've provided.

     Gary, I've taken the liberty to use the sample letter you suggested sending you for simplicity purpose which you will find attached.

     I am currently seeking potential investors to promote this proven idea on a grand scale. If this is of interest to you or someone you feel is serious and has the means I would be very interested in exploring the possibilities.

Recently I wrote and published a book entitled "How To Save A Fortune On Your Auto Insurance". I did a direct mail campaign in the West Los Angeles area of 5,000 mailing with the following results.

I priced the book at $12.95 plus $2.00 postage and handling. It cost me approx. $2.38 to fill an order. Therefore, every order yields up $12.57 in contribution to overhead. My mailing pulled 290 (5.8%) orders for a total gross of $4,335.50.

At $2.38 to fill an order it cost me $690.20 to fill all orders. Therefore, my total cost ($690.20 to fill orders and $2,150.00 to pay for the mailing) were $2,840.20 which, when subtracted from my gross of $4,335.20 left me a bottom-line profit of...

$$$$$$$$$$     $1,495.30     $$$$$$$$$$


Please let me know if you know someone who would be interested.



So, what did I do when he told me all this? That's easy. I wrote him a big check and got him to sign a contract giving me the exclusive rights to his book and his direct mail promotion for same.

Another example. A guy calls me, says he's read my report 10 times and he's got to talk with me in person. He comes to my office with another (much younger) man and here's what they tell me: The younger man is the son of a NASA scientist (now deceased) who was one of the main men responsible for putting an American on the moon. Anyway, in his spare time, this scientist puttered around (heh, heh) designing a set of golf clubs that are engineered according to something called "the laws of curved motion". These clubs are then given to a teaching pro (the older of the two men sitting across from me) and he thinks they are fantastic and he gives them to several "big name" pros to test out.

The pros love the clubs! They rave about them and these guys show me article after glowing article in golf publications wherein these pros lavish praise on the clubs.

But, more importantly, the young guy showed me a $9,400 ad (he produced the actual invoice) that he ran in The Wall Street Journal for just the putter.

The result? That $9,400 ad pulled in more then $60,000!

And, the older guy then produces a golf magazine with a two page spread that cost him $25,000 (it featured the full set of clubs) that...

Pulled In $630,000!

So, I decided to do business with these guys, also. But, blinded by the light, guess what I forgot?

I Forgot That I Have Approximately The
Same Talent For Management That A Pig
Has For Solving Geometry Problems!

And yet, these good deals like the two I just described keep pouring into my office on an almost daily basis.

What to do? What to do? "Hmn," I say to myself, "just because I'm a management idiot doesn't mean my subscribers are as hopeless as me!" So, I've got some questions for you:




Do you have money to invest in projects like these?

Can you make the "go ahead" decision yourself without having to run to your lawyer, your accountant, your spouse, or your Daddy?

Do you have some management ability to go along with your money? I'm talking specifically about the expertise to run a huge TV, direct mail or space advertising campaign.

Would you be willing to share a teensy bit of your profits with the Prince of Print in return for him feeding you some of these good deals?

Hey, if you answered yes to all of the above questions, you and I need to talk personally.

I'm serious. Look, in a business with a huge percentage of slimebags, it has taken me years to establish myself as a savvy, honest guy whose word is literally his bond. And now, I want to capitalize on that hard-earned reputation...

Without Screwing Around Trying To Set
Myself Up In A Management Situation
For Which I Am Totally Unsuited!

Now, having said all that, please let me say this: If you are on the other side of the coin and, you've got a hot, tested promotion and, you want someone to run like crazy with it and pay you your fair share of the loot then... you should call me too!

I want to say something serious here with no attempt at humor. Listen, for whatever reasons, valid or invalid, when it comes to the direct response industry, my office has become "ACTION CENTRAL". You truly wouldn't believe the deals, the ideas and the opportunities that flow to my office and across my desk. And, quite simply, I can't take advantage of it all.

But, I want you to help me not let all this go to waste. You know, there are so darn few really good people out there that it's a shame they don't have a good way to connect up with each other.

Well, now they do! Since I seem to be the spider sitting fat and sassy at the center of this wondrous web, I've decided to set myself up as a matchmaker and do what I can to put all the good people in touch with each other.

So, if you've got something: Talent, money, DM management ability, a tested promotion and so on, I want you to join me and become part of what's soon going to be known as...

Gary Halbert's Genius Network!

Please let me hear from you.


Gary C. Halbert
The "Connection"


I've got a hot (and valuable) free gift for the first 100 of my subscribers who call my office within the next 11 days. I won't be here to take your call but Susan and/or Lissa will and they'll send out your surprise the same day you call!

P.P.S. Another hot deal just came in by FAX! It's a health newsletter somebody wants to sell with 40,000+ active subs and a $2,000,000 annual gross. Any takers?

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Copyright 2003 Gary C. Halbert.  All Rights Reserved.