South Of Jewfish Creek

Dear Friend & Subscriber,

It may sound grandiose to say so... but... I honestly believe this issue of my newsletter is going to change the world.

Five years from now, ten years from now, even 100 or more years from now, people are going to reflect back on the publication of this issue and realize... this was the day the greatest marketing breakthrough of the 20th century...

Came Out Of The Closet!

I wish I could take credit for this breakthrough. I can't. It was discovered by someone else. However, I can take credit, I believe, for being the first major marketing guru to recognize the importance of this discovery.

Enough foreplay. Let's get down to it. To help you understand the incredible importance (and money-making potential) of this breakthrough, I want you to image something. Let's pretend you are someone who is selling something via direct response advertising. It could be anything: golf clubs, diet pills, perfume, socket wrenches or whatever. But... just for the heck of it, let's say you're selling some sort of "paper and ink" product. It could be a newsletter. Or perhaps a book. Or maybe a report on how to lose weight or lower your golf score... or...?

Just to keep us rolling here, let's you and I mutually decide your product is a report on how to buy real estate without cash or credit.

Onward. Let's also say you've decided to use the 2-step method to sell your real estate report. Your plan is to run a lead-generating ad in high-circulation, national publications such as Parade, Modern Maturity, Reader's Digest, National Enquirer and so on. Here's what your lead-generating ad might look like:


Free Report Reveals How To Buy
Real Estate Anywhere In The U.S. Without
Using Cash, Credit Or Bank Financing!

To get your free copy, simply call my secretary (her name is Betty) and give her your name and address. You can call anytime Monday through Friday from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. East Coast Time and the number is...



With me so far? Of course you are, right?

So... we mush on. Now, here's approximately what it will cost to run that ad in each of the publications mentioned above:


Name Circulation Size of Ad


Parade 36,500,000 1/5 page $110,000
Modern Maturity 22,450,000 1/3 page $ 84,600
Reader's Digest 16,300,000 1/2 page $ 72,900
National Enquirer 4,000,000 1/4 page $ 11,600
TOTALS 79,250,000 $279,100


Whoa! That was like a bucket of ice water thrown in the face, wasn't it? Geez, we're spending almost $280,000... just to get our leads!

Oh well, takes money to make money, don't it?

But... we ain't done spending money yet. Hell, we've hardly gotten started. Our next expense is paying for all those incoming telephone calls. That expense will include the 800# toll charges, the salaries of all the people we need to answer the phones, our overhead, etc. Let's go easy on ourselves and say we're taking these calls for only a buck ($1.00) per call.

And... since the combined total circulation of all those publications where we are running our lead-generating ad is 79,250,000, let's guess we'll take in a total of about some 396,250 calls. (By the way, that's 1/2 of 1% of the total circulation.)

Hmm? 396,250 calls at $1.00 apiece is going to set us back another $396,250. Ain't I good at math?

But hey, this is so much fun... LET'S SPEND SOME MORE!

How? That's easy. The next thing we gotta do is mail a sales letter to all those people who phoned in. If we are very, very careful... we can do this for about fifty cents per letter. And thus... we've spent another $198,125.

Leapin' lizards! This is getting to be a nightmare, isn't it?

But... we gotta spend... MORE! MORE! MORE! For one thing, we've got to pay to have our report printed. For sure we can get that done for about $2.00 apiece. But, we've also got to pay for a container to ship those reports in, postage, the cost to address the mailing package, the cost of storing the reports until they are sold and so on.

Without putting too fine a point on it, let's say our cost of filling each of our orders is about $5.00.

Now, let's crunch some imaginary (but realistic) numbers and see what the bottom-line of this campaign is going to be.

Let's say our sales letter generated a 6% response which means we pulled in 23,775 orders. At $5.00 apiece to fill those orders, our fulfillment cost is $118,875. Add that to all our other costs and our total gross expenses equals $992,350.00.

And, since our selling price for our report is $42.00 ($39.00 + $3.00 S&H) our total gross income is $998,550 which means, after all is said and done, our net profit before taxes is...


Not much for all that work and expense, is it?

Stay with me. Let's see if we can make this dealybop just a tad more exciting. To begin with, let us say, just for the heck of it, that...

All Those Publications Let
Us Run Our Lead-Generating
Ad Totally Free Of Cost!

Wow! That saved us $279,100 right from the git-go, didn't it?

Let us further say, the phone company decided not to charge us anything for our incoming 800# calls... and.. our employees have agreed to work for us FREE!

Yahoo! We were shelling out $1.00 for every call we took in but now, since we don't gotta pay nothing (forget it, Miss Books; I make a helluva lot more writing my fractured English than you ever did teaching the formal version at Barberton High) that means... we saved another... $396,250!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Now for the cost of mailing our sales letters. For some crazy reason, all the people who called our 800# got together and decided to pay all our printing, addressing and postage expenses. So now, the cost of mailing our sales letter is...

Doodley Squat!

Nada. Zilch. Nothing.

Which means, Jellybean, we've saved yet another $198,250!

But wait! We still gotta pay to have our reports printed and shipped, don't we?


You see, all our customers, in a frenzied fit of generosity, have agreed to pay all our printing and shipping expenses... in addition... to what they have paid to buy the report.

Let's see. What we got here is NO advertising costs!... NO costs for our incoming calls!... NO costs for mailing our sales letters!... NO fulfillment costs!

No Nothing!

Hmm? Let's take a look at our new balance sheet:

       GROSS SALES:    $998,500

       GROSS EXPENSES:  $ - 0 -

       PROFIT:         $998,500

Just a dream, right? Nothing but a fantasy, ain't that so? An impossible scenario, huh?

Oh yeah? Hang on to your hats, chil'n because...

The Hot New Marketing Breakthrough
I'm About To Reveal To You
Makes The Above "Dream Scenario"
An Everyday Reality!

Do I have your attention?

Good. Here's the scoop: One of my closest friends is Mike Enlow, a world-famous private detective, who lives in a cabin on the Boguechitto River in the backwoods of Mississippi. Mike has grown weary of normal P.I. work so, some time ago, he decided to use his investigative talents to unearth new or little-know... but effective... advertising techniques.

And, in due time, he discovered something that blew his mind... and mine!

Hark unto me. It appears, about eight years ago, a man in California wrote a mystery novel. He then "uploaded" his book onto a number of computer bulletin boards or BBS's.

He also uploads a little "teaser" ad which encouraged people to "download" and read his novel.

Many people did. Many, many people did. And there they were, reading away, really getting into it. They downloaded three chapters and they couldn't wait to download the rest of it to find out how the book ends. But, when they got back to their computers, guess what message popped up on the screen?

"Notice. The rest of the text in this file has been encoded. If you want the password to decode the text, call (000) 000-0000 and use your MasterCard, Visa or American Express to pay for same."

What happened? Well, many of those people who downloaded the  first three chapters of his book just had to get the rest of it so... they called and paid for the "password." The result?

This Guy Sold 100,000
Copies Of A Blankety-Blank
Mystery Novel In Just

No advertising costs. No fulfillment costs. No nothing. He sold 100,000 books and... it was all profit!

What if that had been a diet book? What if he had done that this year when there are 100 times as many computer bulletin boards as there were in 1985?

Why doesn't he do it again? Probably because he's a computer nerd with no "marketing mindset" whatsoever.

Like this next guy who did something similar on a local BBS just a few months ago. What this guy did is, he uploaded a sales letter on his local computer bulletin board and 100 people downloaded his letter... and... 50 of those people gave him an order!

What did he do next? Nothing. He went back to some other academic computer nonsense.

What would you or I have done? I don't know about you, Cupcake, but, if it were me... and... I got a 50% response from my sales letter (which cost me nothing to deliver)... I'd want to know... are there any other computer bulletin boards onto which I can upload my sales letter?

Turns out there are. In fact, there are now...

60,000 Computer
Bulletin Boards!

Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo!

More: So it comes to pass, that Mike Enlow, after learning about the adventures of the above two gentlemen... well... Mike decides to try a little experiment on his own. What he does is, he uploads a little "teaser" ad onto one (1) underground bulletin board which reads...

"P.I. Secrets Revealed"

And what happened? Not much, just that... 148,710 PEOPLE DOWNLOADED A FULL ISSUE OF HIS NEWSLETTER AND... THEY... PAID TO DO IT!   

My God, do you know what it would be worth to me to have almost 150,000 people read an issue of this newsletter without me having to pay a penny to get them to do so?


I feel faint.

Now listen: Not all computer boards will let you upload a message free of charge. One of the biggest is CompuServe and, when Ted Nicholas wanted to run an ad on that huge BBS, he really had to pay through the nose. In fact, CompuServe soaked Ted for a whopping...


That's right, he only paid a lousy thirteen bucks and he got back many, many, MANY TIMES what he spent!

Hey Buckwheat, are you starting to suspect we're on to something here?

Here's what you need:

(A) A "teaser" ad saying something like "Free Report Reveals blah, blah."
(B) A free report which is really a "camouflaged" sales letter.
(C) A report, book, newsletter or some other "paper and ink" product.

Here's what you do:

(A) You upload all of the above onto one or more computer bulletin boards.


Here's what your customers do:

(A) They access a computer bulletin board and scroll through it until they see your "teaser" lead-generating ad.
(B) They read the teaser ad and thus, sufficiently teased, they download the text file which the ad refers them to.
(C) They read the text file they have downloaded which is, in reality, a sales letter, disguised as a report.
(D) After reading the "sales letter" they've downloaded, they decide they want your report (or whatever) it describes and they call your office (or some answering service) and charge $39.00 (or whatever) to get the "password" which enables them to download your report (or whatever).
(E) They access the bulletin board once again, punch in the magic password... and then... on their own nickel... they download your report or whatever it is you are selling.


Look what you've eliminated. There is:

NO COST for running the teaser ad!

NO COST for printing and mailing your sales letter!

NO COST for printing and shipping your report!

NO COST for any inventory!

NO COST for any office!

NO COST for employees!


And guess what else? You don't even have to own... or know how to use... a computer to get in on all this.

That's the beauty of it. You see, there isn't a town in the U.S. that doesn't have hundreds of "computer nerds" (many of them high school kids) who can do all the "mechanics" of this computer stuff for you.

Is there more you need to know?

Yes, there is. You need to know how to find all of those 60,000 computer bulletin boards. You need to know exactly how to word (it's a little tricky) your teaser ad so it will be accepted by the owners of the bulletin boards. You need to know how to word your sales letter so it is perceived as a report. (Easy when you know the secret.) You need to know exactly what types of products can be sold most profitably on these BBS's. You need to know how to encrypt (scramble) the text of your paper and ink product. You need to know how to automatically change your password every day and how to do it via remote control. You need to know a certain secret of processing your credit card orders which will make sure you stay in business. You need to know... oh heck...

There's Really A Lot More
You Need To Know!

None of it is difficult. It's just there are certain "rules of the road" you must understand if you want to play in this game!

How do you learn these rules of the road? One way would be to stumble around learning this stuff all by yourself. When you get finished, you'll be a bit bloody and perhaps five years older... but... you'll have not spent much money.

Another thing you could do is invent a time machine, reverse time for a few months and attend either my "Birthday Bash" or my more recent early August seminar.

But, if you don't want to waste five years and/or you don't know how to invent a time machine... well then, you could, uh...

Buy The Tapes Of
My Last Seminar!

Wherein, my child, you'll learn everything you need to know to make a fortune from this dealybop I've just outlined for you.

Enclosed with this letter is a brown envelope. Inside that envelope is a description of what you will learn by listening to and watching the tapes of the seminar that just ended a few days ago. Also, in that envelope, is an audio tape you can listen to. When you do, you'll hear live segments of two of the most exciting parts of my August seminar.

And, of course, the letter in the brown envelope will also tell you how much I'm gonna soak you (less than you'd guess) for the tapes and how to order.

Let me be serious here for a moment. What I've just revealed to you is the most exciting marketing breakthrough of this century. However, if you want to take a ride on this baby, you'd better get on board now!

Here's why: Remember when "976 numbers" first came out? Back then, Gloria Leonard, publisher of High Society Magazine was raking in over a quarter million dollars... A DAY... from her 976 calls.

No more. Now there's lots of regulatory interference, competition, hassles with the telephone carriers, etc.

Don't get me wrong. You can still profitably play the 976# or 900# game but...

The Glory Days Are Over!

Same with TV infomercials. In the 80's I worked with a TV producer named Hal Morris who would sometimes shoot three infomercials... a day... for little more than pocket change.

Plus, airtime was dirt-cheap and there was very little competition. He almost couldn't lose... and... he didn't. He made...


It's not so easy anymore. There's mucho competition. The cost of airtime is out-of-sight and... the "Feds" watch every infomercial like a hawk.

Yes, you can still make money in infomercials but, once again...

The Glory Days Are Over!

The same pattern is going to happen with computer bulletin board marketing. Four years from now, you'll still be able to make money with this form of marketing but...

1. It's going to be highly regulated!
2. There's going to be a ton of restrictions imposed on you!
3. It's going to cost 10 to 100 times as much as it does now because the bulletin board owners are going to wise up and start charging an arm and a leg to all "information vendors" such as yourself!

But now? Right now... and probably for about the next 18 months...

You Can Run Like Crazy
With No Interference Or Competition
And... If You Hustle... You Can Become
Rich! Rich! Rich! Rich!
(very, very quickly)

Rip open that envelope. Read that letter. Order the tapes.

Get In On This!

   Gary C. Halbert


Don't worry if you don't currently have a paper and ink product.

Why? Simply because part of what you will learn from the seminar tapes is how to get all the paper and ink products you could ever want...

For Practically Nothing!

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Copyright 2003 Gary C. Halbert.  All Rights Reserved.