South of Jewfish Creek

Dear Friend & Subscriber,


"Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion... or... it will be killed.

"Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle... or... it will starve to death.

"It doesn't matter whether you are a gazelle or a lion, when the sun comes up... you better be running."


You know, I used to think if I worked hard enough, remained clear-headed enough, remained disciplined enough, was clever enough, honest enough, creative enough, good-hearted enough... and... in general, did enough of everything I needed to do... that someday... I would get to a "sweet spot" where I could just kick back and enjoy life.

Me and everyone I cared about would be healthy. Financial problems would be a joke. I'd have so much money stashed away, I would be able to laugh at the money worries of lesser mortals. I'd have the love of a good woman (maybe more than one) and an endless supply of everything great. Love. Money. Sex. Health. Fame. Friends. Adoring fans. You name it, I'd have it. I'd have it all.

I'd wake up in the morning, stretch, splash some water on my face, drink a cup of coffee, walk out on my sun deck, look out at the ocean... and... my big decision of the day would be... 'what pleasant thing shall I do to amuse myself today?'

Well, guess what? In spite of all my successes, all my luck, all my doing everything just so... that "sweet spot"... has always managed to elude me. Finally, as we approach the beginning of an entirely new century, I have managed to figure out why I can't find that "sweet spot." Simply put...

It Don't

Not in this world anyway. Show me a guy worth 100 gazillion dollars and I guarantee, he won't be in that "sweet spot." He'll have 167 things on his "to do" list. He won't have enough time or energy to have a real and satisfying relationship with a member of the opposite sex. And he'll frantically be trying to juggle 30,000 balls in the air all at the same time.

Show me the very best marriage or relationship you know about. Show me a couple so "right" for each other they absolutely "glow" when they are together. Let me hire a private detective to record their lives with hidden microphones and TV cameras... and then... I guarantee you will be astonished at how much stress they are dealing with in their lives!

Show me any retired person you know. Pick someone who has meticulously prepared for his or her retirement. Let's put the hidden cameras and microphones on that person and what will we find? Unexpected aches and pains? Loneliness? Despair? Poor health? Depression? Etc.


That's the sound of me ending my rant on the morbidity of life. Life is not necessarily morbid. It's not necessarily joyous either. You know what life really is? It's a conveyer belt! A conveyer belt of problems, opportunities, joyous events, horrible events, good news, bad news... everything you can imagine. But, this conveyer belt was not designed by man; it was designed by a DUDE just a tad smarter than us mere mortals. And guess what else? There ain't NO mechanical problems with HIS conveyer belt... and... that damn thing... ain't never gonna stop moving! Truth be told, that sucker seems to me to be speeding up every single day!

You're on that treadmill. So am I. So is everybody else on this planet still lucky enough to be drawing breath. Other than the grave, we don't really have a choice. As my friend, Dr. Joachim DePosada pointed out in that little tale about the gazelle and the lion...

When The Sun Comes Up,
We Better Be Running!

So what? Well, here's so what: Since we don't have any real choice about whether or not we are going to run "the race of life," my idea is this:

For As Long As We Can,
Let's You And I Be
The Fastest, Strongest And
Most Ferocious Lions
In The Whole Damn Jungle!
Let's not starve; let's not be eaten; let's thrive!

Here's my plan: I occasionally run an ad in Investor's Business Daily with the headline, "How To Make Up To 15 Profitable Trades Every Single Day The Market Is Open!" That little ad is designed to get people to call my answering service and request a copy of my confidential report which explains my new stock trading system. I think you've already seen a copy of that ad in this newsletter but, since I suffer from an advanced case of "CRS"*, I'm going to reprint it right here just to make sure.


Free Report Reveals...

How To Make Up
To 15 Profitable
Trades Every
Single Day The
Market Is Open!

New trading system works like a Swiss watch. However, it does not work with bulletin board or "pink sheet" stocks.

This system lets you make up to 15 profitable trades per day... but... it only works with stocks listed on the NYSE, AMEX  or NASDAQ exchanges. This is not day-trading... but... most of your trades (about 90% of them) will be completed in approximately 40 minutes. In other words, if you buy a stock at 11:00 a.m., you will probably have sold it (at a double-digit percentage profit) well before noon.

This system is not for everybody. If you can't pay attention to the stock market for at least 90 minutes per day... and... if you can't scrape together $8,000 or $9,000 to get started, this system is not for you. On the other hand, if this is not a problem for you... then... you should read my free report immediately!

It's easy to get a copy. All you have to do is call my answering service, leave your name and address... and... we will send the report to you by First-Class Mail the same day we receive your call.


If you happened to read that ad and requested a copy of my report, I'm sure you'll remember receiving it. I sent it by Federal Express... and... along with the report was a personalized letter addressed to you with a $1.00 bill attached to the first page... so... I would be sure to catch your attention.

There was also an audio tape included with the package.

I've learned a very valuable lesson from running that ad. I've been so swamped with people interested, I haven't been able to reach each caller. I took on so many students and, I ended up working so many hours, it started to affect my health. I was working up to 14 hours per day and there were some days I literally "forgot" to eat. I got my youngest son to help me out and, at first, I thought that would take off the pressure.

But, it didn't. The students just kept coming and coming and my son started to get as exhausted as I was. Our fee to teach someone the stock trading system was $3,700 and, in spite of that high price, the students still kept coming! We were ruining our health trying to keep up.

So one day, I just quit.

On that particular day, I had seven new students ready to go... and... I told them to keep their money because, I literally had to take some time off. Can you imagine that? I could have made $25,900 in a single day... and... in spite of that... I quit.

It's not like I don't need the money either. I now have a special set of circumstances in my life... that requires... (in order for me to continue to help certain people whom I love with all my heart) I make a considerable amount of money.

Those circumstances are personal and I'm not going to discuss them here.

Anyway, I got to thinking: Why don't I follow my own advice? Why don't I teach this stock-trading system at a seminar... have it audio and video taped... and then... sell the tapes? That way, I can stop doing all this personalized instruction and take some time off so I can get a little bit of enjoyment out of my life. (By the way, I continually modify my trading system... and now... I've got it where you can make all your trades early in the morning and go do something else with the rest of your day.)

And, I got to thinking even more: Why not (at the same time) don't I give an updated version of my "How To Write A Sales Letter That Will Make You Rich" seminar? I can include all the new Internet stuff I've discovered and give my students a jump start on writing the kind of copy that's going to work most effectively in the coming century.

And, I got to thinking even more: Why don't I teach every detail you need to know to have a profitable website on the Internet?

And, I got to thinking even more: Why don't I make this the absolute best and most complete seminar of this entire century? Why don't I do one final end-of-the-century seminar... and... tell everything I know?!

Why don't I do a seminar so fantastic that Jay Abraham, Terry Hunefeld, Brian Kay, Dan Kennedy, Michael Kimble, Bill Myers, Joe Polish, Tony Robbins, and all the rest of them... will be too ashamed to ever show their faces in public again?

I'm gonna do it. Damn it, I'm gonna do it! You know what I'm gonna call this seminar? It's gonna be...

"Gary Halbert's
Masters Of The Millennium Seminar!"

It's the end of the century and I'm going to spill it all. Hell, I may as well. I can't use all this knowledge anyway. As I've often said, "I have the same ability to manage a business as a pig has to solve geometry problems."

But, make no mistake: Just because I can't manage doesn't mean I can't teach! I'll tell you what: I've got more to teach than all the rest of the ever-growing tribe of "Gary Halbert Wannabe's" all put together. Here's a sample of what I will be teaching at this seminar:


R How to start trading stocks at 9:30 in the morning... quit by 10:30... and... make a tidy profit for the rest of your life!
R What you need to know about making an Internet website profitable... before... you waste one minute of your time or one dollar of your money!
R Tips on how to spot the almost invisible problems that are hurting your business (no matter how big or small) and the triple step technique to solve those problems fast!
R How to use my riveting "A-Pile/B-Pile" strategy to increase your direct mail response by as much as 400% overnight! (Plus, new Internet strategies to make your copy even more effective.)
R How to close your sales like a pro in your copy... or... on the phone... or... on the radio... or... on television... or... even on a website!
R Why your "back-end" sales may be 1,000 times more profitable than your initial sale... and... what to do to make your second sale in less than a week from the time you got the initial order!
R How to write headlines that force people to read your copy... and... how to write copy that forces people to desire and order your product and service! (Y2K is going to be a big help here.)
R How to instantly blow all competition out of the water, no matter how much bigger they are than you or how much longer they've been in business! (With these three secrets, your 1-man business can defeat a huge enterprise that employs as many as 1,000 people.)
R How to test the appeal of your offer for pennies and give yourself a 100% better chance of succeeding! (Believe it or not, I can put the odds 50 to 1 in your favor.)
R Five fast, simple steps to make yourself the only person your customers would even think about doing business with... and... a very special secret that makes this especially true after January 1, 2000!
R A truly "no-brainer" way to bump the amount of your average order by 100% or more automatically!
R How to combine your Yellow Page ads with an Internet website that makes it virtually impossible for your prospects to pay attention to anyone else!
R How to write "killer" copy... even if... you are almost illiterate!
R How to locate the very hottest potential customers for your specific product or service!
R How to suck $100,000 in cash right out of your business in less than 30-days with one simple letter!
R How to create "instant credibility" that forces people to believe your claims!
R Why perception is reality! (Except on the Internet.)
R How you can create a telephone upsell that will suck out even more money from 50% of all new customers who call to order!
R How to write brilliant copy even on those days when your mind is frozen!

  I could go on and on but, I'm not going to. However, I do want you to know, I am setting aside an entire day (maybe two days, if necessary) at this seminar where I will attempt to answer all questions from all attendees of the seminar. Whatever your goals are, I will try to help you achieve them. Whatever your problems are, I will try to help you solve them. Basically, what I want to teach you is this...

The Best Ways In The
World To Become Rich
Before The Year 2,000
Is Even Half-Way Over!

Look, veterans of my past seminars have said there is no way to accurately describe what happens at these events. Each day starts at fever pitch... and... it continues to go up from there... until... I literally have to force everyone to go to bed for the night so I can "re-juice" my brain for the next session.

Would you like to know who are the most likely people you are going to meet when you come to a Gary Halbert seminar? It's simple: It's often someone who's been to a previous seminar. You see, often, after a person leaves one of my seminars, he goes out and makes so much money so fast, the expense of coming to another seminar is almost of no consequence. I do not exaggerate when I say that often, when a person comes to one of my seminars it is...

A Life Transforming Event!

Where am I going to have this seminar? How long will it last? How much is it going to cost?

Actually, there are certain "details" of this seminar I don't want to reveal unless you are a serious potential attendee. The nature of this seminar is such, I don't want anyone to attend... unless... they talk with me on the phone first. The conversation won't be overly long... but... it will be important.

I hope you're interested. If so, call 1-305-534-7577 or fax 1-352-861-1665 and leave a number and the best time I can call you.

But... call now! I am writing this letter on the last day of August which means you will be receiving it well after we are already into the month of September... which... does not leave us a lot of extra time to get this dealybop organized and up and running. If you come to this seminar, you are going to start the next century as the baddest ass in the jungle. You know what my attendees are gonna call you if you are a non-attendee? It can be summed up in one word:


   Gary C. Halbert

I don't usually dedicate my seminars but, I sure am going to dedicate this one. This one is for my daughter, her husband and their new-born baby girl. Cindy is my oldest child and she just blessed me with a beautiful new granddaughter named Rosannah Antonia Seger.

But, there never seems to be any roses without thorns, does there? Cindy went in to have a normal birth and ended up having to have a Caesarean. It seems she had a benign tumor in her uterus... the size of an orange... that... the doctors somehow failed to previously notice! This caused her to almost lose her life five different times. She had so much internal bleeding, they found an entire liter of blood in just her uterus. Her blood pressure dropped to practically nothing. Her heart became arrhythmic and nearly stopped. And on and on.

All the while, her lovable, big lug of a husband, Anton "Big Mac" Seger was beside himself with worry.

But Cindy is out of intensive care now and in a non-critical section of the hospital. She should be released from the hospital altogether in about a week after the iron count of her blood is back to normal.

I couldn't be more proud of her. She was on that damned conveyer belt and it started to go 1,000 MPH... but... my baby girl hung in there!


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Copyright 2003 Gary C. Halbert.  All Rights Reserved.