North of Jewfish Creek

Dear Friend & Subscriber,

   Sometimes I wonder about myself.

   Have you ever seen a waterspout? They are small intense tornados that occur over water. I heard somewhere the winds in those things have been clocked at speeds in excess of 370 miles per hour.

   Waterspouts are terrifying and terribly destructive. One of the bravest men I've ever known was once reduced to a frightened, sobbing, begging-to-God little child when a boat he was in got overtaken by one of these fiends of nature. Down in the Keys, they called this guy "Little Boy" because he was the opposite. He was a huge, smelly monster of a man and sometimes, he would run my father's lobster boat (the "Black Cat") when my Dad had it down in Marathon. I can still remember standing on the dock at Faro Blanco Marina and looking up at him sitting confident and arrogant in the captain's chair on the flybridge with his huge forearms resting on the steering wheel. This guy was a throwback to the caveman days and there was no subtlety or artifice about him whatsoever.

   He operated almost 100% on the "lizard brain" imprinted somewhere in the cerebral cortex of all human beings.

   But that waterspout sure brought him to his knees. The way he told it, the boat turned into a whirling spinning nightmare of uncontrolled violence. It was as though the hand of God had reached down from the heavens, seized the boat and began shaking it more violently than a level seven earthquake does to a home which has been built under specs.

   I've been afraid of waterspouts ever since I first saw one and heard my father and others telling horror stories about them.

   Inevitably, I ran into one. I was on my dive boat, the "Original Sea Hunt" when one appeared out of nowhere about 100 yards off the bow. It was a little one, a "baby" just in the formative stages. At that point, it was a frenzied circle of wind maybe 12 feet high. Looking up to the sky, I could see another spout of wind coming down from a dark cloud and trying to link up with the birthing demon on the water. Maybe a weatherman will tell you that's not how it works but, that's how it was that day.

   I was up in the tuna tower and Randy Rode, a famous fishing guide in the Keys, was at the wheel downstairs. "Get up close to it, Randy," I hollered down. "Let's take a look at that sucker."

   He edged the boat closer.

   It was awesome. Spooky. The wind gave off a very powerful hissing sound like ten million rattlesnakes all getting ready to strike at the same time. "Go through it, Randy!" I yelled. "Charge right through that son-of-a-bitch!"

   "We can't Gary, we can't," he shouted back.

   Randy has lived around boats and on the water all his life. So did his father. And his brother. His late brother. Whose life was cut short by a sudden electrical storm when he was anchored right off the lighthouse tower at Sombrero reef. What happened was, a lightning bolt hit the tuna tower of the boat... fried everything on board... and... electrocuted Randy's brother. So, you can be sure, Randy has a healthy respect for what Momma Nature can do. Especially so, that day we were so far to hell and gone out in the Gulf Stream we were closer to Cuba than the U.S. when that damn waterspout came up out of nowhere. I kept yelling anyway...

"Randy, You Ain't Got A Hair
On Your Ass If You Don't Charge
That Bastard!"

   "Do it!" I yelled, "do it, run right through it!"


   That "ain't got a hair on your ass" got him where he lived and he ran that boat right through the middle of that arrogant knot of intimidation. "AGAIN!" I yelled, "DO IT AGAIN!"

   He did. Over and over we charged right through that waterspout. And you know what? We broke that sucker up! Tore it to pieces. Moments later it was like it was never there. I looked up to the sky and that evil bitch trying to mate with the one on the water was gone too.

   Randy and I were faint with relief and giggling helplessly. Like little school girls.

   I read a quote once that goes something like this: "Fear knocked on the door and when courage answered, there was no one there."

   I suspect though, that idea ought not be stretched too far.

   This all reminds me of what I did at the beginning of my seminar on "How To Write A Sales Letter That Will Make You Rich" which just ended four days ago. I'm not going to tell you here what I made the attendees do. That would take up too much space. But, it sure jolted the hell out of them. They were stunned.

   They didn't know it  (I think) but, I was quaking in my boots when I told them to do it. I figured they might all walk out on me. Nevertheless, I wanted them to really "get it" ("it" being what makes writing really work) so I took the chance. I knew they would either abandon me or, they would start to understand.

   They got it. I made them do something they'll never forget for the rest of their lives. Just like I'll never forget that day out in the Gulf Stream when me and Randy Rode broke up that waterspout.

   I'm not a brave man. Not at all. But sometimes, some other persona takes over my body and makes me do things I'd normally be too frozen with fear for the pathetic, sniveling actual me, myself to do.

   Sometimes it works good too.

   I think I'm trying to make a point here but, for the life of me, I can't imagine what it is. Ah, to hell with it. I'll go on to something else. Listen: The centerpiece of the pass-out materials at my seminar was a collection of "Masterpiece Letters" which have generated jillions of dollars in sales and profits. That  collection of "Masterpiece Letters" is worth 100 times the entire cost of the seminar... and... what I urged my attendees to do... was... copy those letters out in their own handwriting. Why? So they'd actually have a neurological imprint on a cellular level of what it feels like... to actually write... "killer" sales messages.

   I urge you to do that also. Obviously, I can't reproduce all those letters here. However, I can give you the words of the headlines and/or opening sentences that were used to get 26 of those letters started. And, that alone, if you copy them in your own handwriting, will get your juices flowing and give you the beginnings of a superb neurological imprint that will serve you well the rest of your days.

   Let's boogie:

 LETTER A: A masterpiece from the legendary John Carlton who has just      written 16 "homerun letters" in a row!

World Famous Street-Fighter Will Give You A FREE GUN... Just To Prove He Can Take It Away From You Bare-Handed As Easy As Candy From A Baby!

Dear Friend,

   I want to send you a free gun. (It is identical in CAD-imaged specs to the standard military-issue "Red Style" training gun.)

   There are 2 things I want you to do when you receive it:

(1)  I want you to set the gun aside, and watch the four videos I will also send.

(2)  Then, I want you to give the gun to the toughest, biggest and most coordinated friend you have...  and ask him to:

Point The Gun At You
And Squeeze The Trigger!

   It is important you choose someone who is larger than you. Preferably, he should also have some skill at fighting. A black belt karate master would be perfect.

   Why am I asking you to do this? Because I want to prove to you that what you see on these video tapes will allow you to instantly take that gun away (bare-handed) and put him down on the ground before he can move a muscle to squeeze the trigger!

LETTER B: The beginning of a love letter to his wife Betty, from the late Joe Karbo: LETTER C: Selling the current version of "7 Steps-To-Freedom" by Ben Suarez: 

Dear Betty,

   I love you very much.

I want to take care of you and our kids for the rest of your lives. There'll be good times and bad. But I'll try to do my best with what I've got.

   From time to time, I'll probably exasperate or annoy you. But I promise that you'll never be bored.

Dear Gary C. Halbert,

   I am writing to inform you about a 21-year, time-tested way to use your personal computer to make money right from your home; or, create multi-million dollar businesses from scratch without bank loans, venture capitalists, or selling stock.

LETTER D: Another Suarez promo: LETTER E: Another Suarez promo: Beautiful, simple and deadly effective:

Dear Gary C. Halbert,

   I am writing to inform you about a truly simple way to access the worldwide Information Superhighway and a method to use your personal computer to make money right from your home.

Dear Gary C. Halbert,

   I wish to inform you that new research has finally uncovered the 5 causes of the lower abdominal bulge and how to flatten it like a board.


LETTER F: Ended up getting a priest a wife he'll never  understand:

Are you more than just another pretty face?

Generous Creative Businessman Wants To Find A Hot, Sexy Woman With A Good Sense Of Humor 

LETTER G: A "Killer from Karbo": LETTER H: A Wall Street Journal sub pitch mailed successfully (with variations) for more than 18 years:

The Lazy Man's Way To Riches

'Most People Are Too Busy Earning A
Living To Make Any Money'

Dear Friend,

   I used to work hard. The 18-hour days. The 7-day weeks.

   But I didn't start making big money until I did less--a lot less.

Dear Reader:

   On a beautiful late spring afternoon, twenty-five years ago, two young men graduated from the same college. They were very much alike, these two young men. Both had been better than average students, both were personable and both--as young graduates are--were filled with ambitious dreams for the future.

   Recently, these men returned to their college for their 25th reunion.

LETTER I: Once in a blue moon, Jay Abraham does get a good idea: LETTER J: Great grabber opening. Almost everyone I've ever met wishes they could write a book:

On October 1, The President's Sweeping Tax Bill Goes Into Effect. One Undervalued Investment Form Could Become The Greatest Single Beneficiary Of Them All...

Dear Valued Friend:

The congressional tax bill will affect more than just individual and corporate tax returns. The repercussions could be felt in everything from real estate partnerships and retirement plans, to savings accounts, stock portfolios, tax shelters and trusts.

Dear Friend:

   If you want to write and get published, I can't think of a better way to do it than writing books and stories for children and teenagers. Ideas flow naturally right out of your own life.


Letter K: Bull's-eye! Letter L: Anticipates resistance and meets it head-on:

Free $39 Stock Market Innovators' Survey Explains 24 Specific Ways To Boost Your Profits In Common Stock Investing.

Dear Investor:

We'll send you a copy of a very unusual guide to Stock Market Investing that features interviews with 12 of Wall Street's foremost investment professionals. These successful money managers and investment analysts present their combined set of 24 investment strategies that could make you a more intelligent more successful stock market investor.

Dear Music Lover,

Let me make a prediction--

I predict that many, many thousands of people who really love music will not mail in their vouchers for the 4 compact discs, cassettes or records we offer - simply because they're suspicious!

"There's got to be a catch," they'll say. "Getting up to $63.92 worth of compact discs, cassettes or records for nothing is just too good to be true."

Letter M: Adapted from a great ad originally written to sell a book on how to bet on the horses and win: Letter N: Who in the world could not read this?

I've got to get this off my chest before I explode!

Dear Inside View Subscriber:

   I've been troubled, for a long time, with a major dilemma.

Dear Friend,

   I have a tax problem and I want you to be the beneficiary instead of the IRS...

Letter O: Sometimes even I get lucky.  This one started Robert Allen down a path that made him 75 million richer!

Robert G. Allens
Challenge Systems, Inc.
2010 Jimmy Durante Blvd.,/Suite 224
Del Mar, CA  92014

9:20 a.m., Thursday
December 22, 1988
Del Mar, California

Dear Friend,

   As you can see, I have attached a penny to the top of this letter for two reasons:

1.  I have something very important to tell you and I needed some way to catch your attention.

2.  Since what I am writing about concerns money, I thought a little "financial eyecatcher" was especially appropriate.

My name is Robert Allen. On March 13th, my staff hand-selected and taught 189 people etc., etc.

Letter P: Makes you feel special... and... intrigued: Letter Q: Excellent opening sentence even thought it was used by a truly scummy human being:

Dear Friend,

            This private invitation is going out to just a handful of people, yourself included. I hope you'll accept my invitation. But even if you decide not to, I want to send you a gift... Absolutely Free.

Dear Friend,

   Would you be pleased if you made 50% of your portfolio every 12 months? Your money would double EVERY two years--you could start with $10,000 and become a millionaire very quickly--13 years to be exact. Start with $100,000 and you're there in 7 years.

Letter R: Don't you just gotta know what this is all about? Letter S: CompuServe pitch to geeks:

Dear Mr. Halbert,

   Can one-third of all the millionaires in America be wrong?

Dear Friend,

If we're not mistaken, you're already quite familiar with computers and how to use them.

We believe you're also interested in ways your computer "know how" can help improve your life and the lives of those close to you.

Letter T: I sure don't want to be an "also-ran", do you? Letter U: No kiddding, hmn?

Dear Friend,

   TWO YEARS FROM NOW, your business could be worth 2.5 to 25 times what it's worth today... Or you could fall into the list of business also-rans...

            The choice is yours.

Dear Inside Sports reader:

   Did you know that the long-term performance of baseball cards beats the pants off of stock, T-bills, and rare coins?

LETTER V: Sure I would: LETTER W: I wanna be special too:

Dear Friend:

   If money were no object, would you own Encyclopedia Britannica?

Dear Friend:

   The members of the National Audubon Society constitute only a fraction of one percent of America's population.

      But they are a very important fraction.

LETTER X: I guess I'm special after all: (NOTE: Personalization in the letter is a key factor in pulling in more orders.)

Gary C. Halbert
820 Ocean Dr. #308
Miami Beach, FL  33139

Dear Gary C. Halbert:

   The Publisher of Advertising Age asked me to make a very special subscription offer to a small, select group of advertising and marketing professionals. Your name was submitted to me as one who qualifies.


LETTER Y: A Thomas Hall classic. This one gets my vote for the best opening sentence of a sales letter ever written. If you can't adapt and twist this opening to whatever you're pitching, you're hopeless. LETTER Z: See?

Dear Friend:

   If you would like to lose up to 63 pounds, then here is how I did it in Japan and why I think you can do it in America.

Dear Friend:

   If you would like to make a lot of money FAST in mail order - right from your own home, and do it now - here is how I've done it several times in the Orient.

   And why I believe you could do the same in America with information I'll give to you.


   Listen you smuck. Save this issue forever. Copy these openings over and over in your own handwriting. This will give you an invaluable, neurological imprint of great writing. Doing this will help you "own" these masterpiece sentences and paragraphs. They will live inside you, mutate while you sleep, multiply into other great ideas. Do not think you are too advanced, too smart or too experienced to benefit (enormously) from this simple exercise.

   You're not.

   Gary C. Halbert

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