North of Jewfish Creek
Dear Friend & Subscriber,
bet Bill Gates never had a good piece of ass in his life.
get back to the crucially important subject of Mr. Gates' sex
life (or lack thereof) in a moment. But first, please allow me
to digress a few moments to other matters of far less global
I've been wanting to do something nice... something... very
special... for my Lifetime Subscribers for a long
time... and... if you're one of my "Lifers" you're
gonna love this one!
you know, I've been writing and publishing this letter going
on 11 years now and, during that time, I've been giving a few
very expensive seminars, usually two or three times a year.
Well, as it happens, each year, more and more of my newsletter
subscribers and seminar attendees are members of the medical
profession. Surgeons, shrinks, chiropractors, plastic
surgeons, dentists (especially
dentists), pediatricians and proctologists. (Speaking of
proctologists, how does someone make the decision to make that
his career of choice? Is
it like that scene in "The Graduate" where some guy
whispers the word "plastics" in Dustin Hoffman's
ear? Except, the guy says "assholes!"?)
Let's focus on dentists. Many of the D.D.S.s I've worked with
like Travis McFee, Kit Weathers, the Madow Brothers and many
others have become fabulously successful. It irritates me so
many dentists I have worked with have far eclipsed the
meager financial successes of their impoverished mentor. So
therefore, I have decided..
The Dentists Of America Have To Pay!
yes. I've been asked to give a Gary Halbert Seminar especially
for dentists. This seminar is not about dentistry; it
is about the business of dentistry. But, the way I've
put this together, makes it the
most valuable seminar... anyone... could attend... no matter what... business they are in. This is going to be my most intense seminar I've ever
given. It's going to happen here in Miami Beach at the Eden
Roc Resort & Spa (as posh as posh can get) on April 10th,
11th, 12th and 13th. Guess what it costs to attend? Are you
sitting down? Ready? Okay boys and girls, the cost for a
dentist to attend this seminar is... $17,000.00!
read it right. That's seventeen thousand smackeroos.
And, it's gonna be worth every penny! I agreed to do this
seminar (and, put my heart and soul into it) based on two
1. I get paid a healthy fee.
2. I get to let my Lifetime Subscribers attend... FREE!
#1 was no problem. When you're gonna get 100 or so D.D.S.s to
shell out 17 thou apiece to attend a seminar, you can afford
to be pretty damn generous with the guy making it happen. But,
they sure as hell didn't like that second condition. So... I
made the decision easy for them. "It's very simple,"
I said, "if my Lifers don't get to come free, I'm not
going to do the seminar."
so, Buckwheat, if you are a Lifetime subscriber to this
letter... and... you want to attend the hottest marketing
seminar ever... and... you want to attend free...
here's what you gotta do... and... you gotta do it now:
||Call the Eden
Roc Resort & Spa at (305)
531-0000 and book your room.
||After that, and only after that,
contact my office... by FAX... and let us know you are
coming. We can't take phone calls for this. We're
working feverishly to pull this deal together and
there's just too many of my Lifers (not to mention all
those dentists) who want to attend this seminar for us
to spend time with each of them on the phone. Besides,
after you sign up, you'll get an info package that
gives you all the nitty-gritty logistical details. So,
if you want to come, make your room reservation at the
Eden Roc and fax my office (1-305-534-8366)
a very short letter thanking
me for making this possible for you... and...
giving me your name, address, daytime phone number
with area code, and confirmation number of your Eden
Roc room reservation.
back to Bill Gates and his sex problem. Actually, to be
factual, I guess I should describe this as what I perceive
to be his wee, wee-wee problem. You see, Bill Gates can only
use one hand when he...
I gotta digress again. As I age I suffer more and more from
CRS ("Can't Remember Shit") and, if I don't get this
next part down on paper, I might forget. So, sit up and pay
attention. Come closer. I've just read what I consider to be
one of the best sales letters ever written. I'll tell you why
this letter is so good after you read it. Here's the
Alive Or Dead
Dear IC Member,
Pictured at right: the
cover of a recent issue of POPULAR
MECHANICS, featuring an article
"Death Of The Internet." As you
know, I've remained an "Internet
skeptic", I think with good reason. This
article and others, and many savvy
individuals' analysis of and experience with
the Internet just isn't very good. Let me
summarize the negatives first:
As this article points out, it's crowded, cluttered,
disorganized, and, increasingly, hard to get on -
"busy signals for minutes to hours are the
norm" - and slow to use. The first class
action suit was recently filed against AmericaOnline,
seeking to stop their sale of new memberships on the
grounds that they cannot provide services as promised
to the members they've got. AOL's problems are a
microcosm of the entire World Wide Web.
The huge numbers of on-line users is, for most
marketers, an irrelevant although seductive illusion.
Most "business users" are using this thing
one way and one way only for e-mail...as a a
communication tool, like the phone or the FAX. They
aren't "surfing." Or buying. In homes, the
primary users are kids under the age of 18.
The "marketing success stories" remain few
and far between, are often exaggerated and
distorted by get-rich-via-Internet promoters, and many
are not at all useful as models for the rest of us.
The biggest winners are all in the "sex
business" one way or another. The two web sites
visited most: Playboy and Penthouse. The lion's share
of the actual direct sales transactions are with sex
products and services related sites. What was the 900#
business is now on the Internet, but with pictures. In
a recent A&E report on the "gentlemens clubs
business" (which is booming), that industry's
experts predicted the Internet offered their greatest
opportunities for revenue expansion.
Contrary to popular promotion, marketing via the
Internet is NOT "free." It takes time,
attention and energy away from other, more predictable
opportunities. There are costs for site set-up and
For all these reasons, and others,
I remain an Internet skeptic. However, over the past
handful of months, I've conducted an exhaustive
analysis of what opportunities do exist and may
develop regarding the Internet, for a client of mine
already operating one of the largest Internet
"malls" and doing about 5-million dollars a
year or so of Internet business, and yes, there are
positives and positive indicators to talk about, too.
large percentage of adult Internet users spend
a lot of time visiting web sites, surfing,
conversing, plucking items of interest off
bulletin boards, participating in news groups,
and so on. In this month's newsletter, I noted
the amount of time each visitor spends at a
cataloguer's web site - phenomenal. I can tell
you that the average visitor to MY web site
goes through five to ten "pages" and
stays there for some time. These folks are
serious info gatherers.
favorite expert Ken McCarthy (who I'll tell
you more about in a minute) insists that
people are less critical of what they find and
read on the Internet than they are of
hooked to each computer has money. After all,
you're talking $2,000.00 or more in hardware,
hundreds of dollars for software, and $20 a
month or more to be hooked up, for service.
of the web sites and other marketing efforts
now populating the Net are terrible, defy
everything we know about direct-response, and
cannot possibly produce. As John Tighe says "In
the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is
king." Where all the marketing is
done by fools, there's opportunity for the few
with smarts. (At Ken's recent seminar, which I
attended, he fully explained the big, [sic]
most commonly made mistake with web sites and,
by gum, just about everybody IS making that
there are some intriguing things you can do on
the Internet - for example:
WITH CUSTOMERS AND TARGETED PROSPECTS
you identify Internet users who are your
customers or bona fide prospects interested in
what you are all about, you can e-mail them
as often as you want, at a cost so cheap it's
almost zero...with the push of a single
button. Obviously, this has its appeal.
Imagine being able to send out a monthly
customer newsletter with zero printing or
postage costs, no addressing, no stuffing.
PUBLICITY...PROMOTION TO THE MEDIA
the few things I can tell you from personal
experience is: the media is
using this thing. Probably because they're
lazy. Journalists of every stripe are going to
web sites in search of story material. Talk
show producers are searching the Net for
guests. I have definitely gotten press as a
result of my web site. (There are even pros
who do publicity blitz's via Internet for $500
to $1,000. Ken told me about one, which I just
Internet is a very valid and powerful research
tool. In my newly revised 'How To Make
Millions With Your Ideas/Inventor's Friend
Course,' for example, we list over 200
Internet locations for help with idea
protection, copyright patent, trademark,
marketing, financing, business plan
documentation, and we include hours on
CompuServe, because of their proprietary
services and discussion group for inventors.
there ARE some people figuring out the puzzle: how to
make money by direct marketing via the Internet.
Small businesses? Yes - there's a garden center and
nursery, for example, that reported a $7,000 profit
its first 30 days on the Internet. There are
mail-order marketers of everything from hot sauces to
clothing to speciality books. There are the biggies,
like Amazon Books. There is just enough legitimate,
successful activity to hint that there could be more.
How Can You
Sort Out The Wheat From The Chaff?
Do you remember the old game show
"Who Do You Trust"? Who can you trust to
give you the straight scoop here?
That brings us to Ken McCarthy.
Ken, a long-time IC Member, is one of the very, very
few "white hats" I know of in this field.
Quite frankly, the crowd of so-called experts
promoting get-rich-on-the Internet in various forms is
mostly made up of charlatans, liars, frauds and, at
best, theorists. Not Ken. Among other things, his
company hosted the first business conference held
anywhere, entirely devoted to doing business on the
Web. Marc Andreessen, the whiz kid from Netscape
(100-million-dollar net worth at age 24) was the
keynote speaker. Ken's book, "The Internet
Business Manual", was the first book published
in Japan about doing business on the Internet. And the
Japanese computer giant, NEC, holder of over 65,000
scientific patents, pays Ken a fat retainer just for
his continuing advice about marketing on the Internet.
(By the way, if you have the tapes from my 1993 DM
Conference - $3,495.00 per person to attend - you've
already heard Ken, although not about the Internet.)
Ken has numerous clients, small and large, some of
whom ARE making money via Internet marketing, and he
is a legitimate practitioner, a service provider
charging fair and reasonable fees, and simply somebody
who really knows what he's talking about.
Unfortunately, it's almost
impossible to get personal time with Ken even if you
want it. He's just about as busy as I am - and more
reclusive. After all, he IS a "computer
nerd." But you may recall that I hosted a special
seminar by Ken, just for IC Members, by invitation,
late last year. You missed it, but you can still get
most of it.
One Of The
Toughest Seminar Audiences......
Ken asked me to deliver a small,
focused group of tough-minded, marketing savvy
entrepreneurs from diverse businesses, who would have
their "BS detectors" on and would demand
practical, crystal clear, truthful, how-to information
from him. I did deliver such an audience (myself
included) and we did ask Ken tough and practical
questions. We drew out of him information, ideas and
proven how-to's that, quite frankly, I haven't found
the equal of in all my other research combined.
Skeptical as I was and am, I found a few things I
could immediately do to profit from the Internet. Some
of the people in the seminar who are much more
interested in all this went home and implemented
dozens of strategies.
By the way, I don't go to many
seminars. To do so, I have to write off days that
could be sold for at least $4,600.00. I have to
travel, and I do enough of that anyway. And most
often, I'm disappointed. But I am very glad I was at
THIS seminar and I would urge anybody using or
contemplating using the Internet for marketing
purposes to go - if they could - but they can't,
because Ken is NEVER doing this again. He did it just
to get everything on tape and into printed form. He's
not a seminar giver by profession or passion. But you
CAN get the seminar "in a box," to go
through in your home, at your convenience.
finally, a very clear understanding of
what this thing is, how it works, the pros and cons,
flaws and opportunities, real costs, and the info you
need to determine whether or not you
should be involved and, if so, how. Take all the
mystery, confusion, techno-gobbledygook out of this,
once and for all.
regarding web sites, you'll learn how
to "build cheap" and what common copycat
mistakes to avoid. By the way, you do not even
need to be online yourself - or even to own a computer
- to understand all this and, if you choose, to profit
from it. Ken shows you how to do everything with
pencil, paper and a fax machine. For example, for a
low monthly fee, you can have orders or even e-mail
captured for you and delivered to you by FAX if you
want to do it that way.
you'll learn how
to "promote smart." How to do truly
targeted "posts", attract site traffic,
create publicity, and so on. What you can and cannot
do and how to do it.
how to buy or rent the services you need without
getting ripped off. (It's a jungle out there.
One woman at the seminar was being overcharged by
hundreds of dollars a month - and blatantly lied to.)
You may choose to do some business with Ken. But if
you don't, you will be infinitely better equipped to
deal with service providers in your home town. You'll
almost certainly see savings of thousands of dollars
thanks to Ken's blunt advice.
You Get Your Hands On?
Obviously, we can't go back to
late last year and plunk you down in the seminar
itself. But the giant Manual that I walked away from the seminar with is, itself, more useful and
valuable than the literal room full of Internet
"stuff" I've gathered from every other
imaginable source. It is the seminar in print.
Everything everybody got at the seminar plus more.
Ken's making it available for just $377.00. Believe
me, you can blow three hundreds bucks on utterly
useless Internet marketing services so fast it'll
scorch your mouse pad. And there is not a decent
professional seminar you can go to anywhere on this
subject for such a low price.
more. In this exclusive offer, Ken is also
including the audio cassettes from the entire day PLUS
a 30-minute telephone consultation - both without
Oh, and if you wind up using Ken's
company to put up and maintain a web site for you or
perform other Internet marketing services for you, you
get the entire $377 back in service credits. (But
don't worry: this is NOT a giant "pitch" for
Ken's services. Not even close. This is a thorough,
comprehensive, understandable teaching presentation.)
This is a package built to sell
for over $1,000.00, yours at about one-third of that
price. Ken can only accept a limited number of my IC
Members on this basis, and he reserves the right to
cancel the offer at any time. If this interests you, I
urge you to use the attached Order Form and/or call
Ken's office at 415-928-4072. Don't wait. You may be
Marketing via the Internet
definitely is NOT for everybody, at least not now, not
yet. For many, there is a compelling argument for
ignoring the entire thing, putting blinders on, and
sticking to what works for you now or to more
predictable opportunities. However, for some, there is
a compelling argument for getting in now, early,
learning ahead for the herd, and finding opportunity.
I cannot begin to tell you what to do about that
decision. I can tell you that, if you do have an
interest in using the Internet for marketing purposes,
then you need Ken McCarthy's information....to protect
yourself, to shorten your learning curve, to have a
realistic assessment of your opportunities, and to
maximize whatever profits may be possible for you.
Dan S. Kennedy
PS: Personally, I'm not about to
pack up a tent, cooking utensils, first aid kit,
musket and powder, and go tramping off on a safari in
some jungle for my vacation. (Anything less than 24
hour room service is "roughing it" in my
book.) But if I was going to do that, I'd damned sure
do it with the very best guide I could find and hire.
PPS: This IS a very limited offer.
There's an expire date on the order form, but that's
the outside possible date. Ken can only handle a
limited number of the consultations, so this offer may
very well be withdrawn before this expiration
date. The only certain way to participate is to call
What you've just read
is a letter I consider so good,
I think everybody should
study it and, seriously consider using it as a "template"
for one of their own sales letters. Here are reasons I consider this
one of the top 10 sales letters I've ever read:
honest. Almost everything ever written about marketing
on the InterNet (including stuff written by me) is bullshit.
Much of this misinformation was written by honest but misled
and misguided people (like me)... and... much of it has and is
being promoted by out-and-out rip-off con artists. Either way,
"Bullshit is bullshit" and there ain't none of it in
informative. Even if you have no interest in what's
being sold, this letter gives you the low-down real
scoop on InterNet marketing by a man who knows what he is
writing about. In other words, this letter has value
for all who read it, not just for those who want the product
lean. No excess verbiage. Not a wasted word. A direct
hit. A "bull's-eye" marketing missile with no
is balanced and reasoned.
No ranting and raving about the "bad guys." No
"YOU'RE CERTAIN TO
GET RICH WITH THIS!" hyperbole. Explains the pros.
Explains the cons.
illuminating. This letter does, I believe, reveal what might
turn out to be a breathtaking opportunity to make money. I
myself am going to order the product it describes.
What's that? Why do I have to order it? Did you think I
already have this product because I myself was promoting what this
letter is selling? That I have some financial interest in all this?
I don't. None whatsoever.
Dan Kennedy has no clue I'm writing about his sales letter. As
for Ken McCarthy, I don't know him from Adam. In fact, until I read
Dan's brilliant sales letter, I was 100% oblivious to Ken McCarthy's
existence. Never saw or heard him speak at a seminar. Never watched
him on video. Never heard him on an audio tape. So, promoting his
InterNet product is not what this
issue is about. No. It's just I consider the sales letter you've just
read so damn good I wanted
to make sure all my subscribers got to read it. Just how good
is this letter? Well, I'm gonna give it what I consider (arrogantly)
the highest accolade I have to offer. What I mean is...
This Sales Letter Is So
It Reads Like It Could Have Been Written
By Gary Halbert!
Hark unto me. I first became aware of Dan Kennedy's existence
while listening to one of his audio tapes during a long solo drive
through the American southwest. Dan has written many books, given many
seminars, created many video and audio tapes and my advice to you
is... GET EVERYTHING HE HAS TO
When you discover a true marketing genius, you should
get every scrap of info he/she has to offer. I can't even imagine
something written or taped by Claude Hopkins, Robert Collier, Joe
Karbo and other "legends" I wouldn't rush to buy sight
unseen. Heed this: If someone's got it, for
real... you should feel
lucky to be able to buy it from them. Once again, Dan Kennedy has
no clue about the contents of this issue of this newsletter. He'll
know about it approximately the same time you do. When he gets it in
the mail. So... GET HIS SHIT... STUDY IT... GET ALL OF IT! Dan's
You know, maybe I'll make February my annual month for writing
a "Gary Halbert Recommends" issue. That'd be interesting,
wouldn't it? An annual review of stuff I think my subscribers should
consider purchasing... all of which... I personally have no financial
interest in whatsoever.
Like maybe this: Here's something that will be of interest to
"REAL PLAYERS" only. No guarantee of a financial return
whatsoever. This is one of those deals that's like a Rolex watch: You
don't buy it so you'll know what time it is; you buy it simply...
Because You Can!
Here's the scoop: For $2,500 fungolas, you can become a sponsor
of the 1997 MISS CARIBBEAN AMERICA pageant. I'm not gonna tell you the
real reason you should consider this. Certainly not in print.
But here are the reasons as stated in the literature:
Event Date: March
14 - 17, 1997
As a sponsor for this 1997 Model
Search you are entitled to the following:
private room (lodging) at the Americana Hotel during the
promotion; Complementary meals and
drinks at the Hotel/Casino during the span of the promotion; Transportation
to and from the airport near the Hotel/Casino; One judge
position; Live name
mention of you and/or your company during the event(s) if you
desire; Distribution of any corporate printed
material/information you wish offered to the audience; Gift/benefits
packages to include an official 1997 Miss Royal Palm Casino
Judge and Sponsor shirt and other Hawaiian Tropic memorabilia;
Your name and/or company name to appear on event
invitations (if desired); Invitation(s)
to the private receptions with the lovely PAGEANT CONTESTANTS,
judges, and other VIPS; Invitation(s) to the International
finals in Las Vegas; A
fabulous weekend of entertainment and fun with super VIP
treatment; A chance to rub elbows with Sir Gary of Halbert
and some of his fabulous (see this
month's calendar) Charisma girls!!!
Wanna know more about this? If so, call Amy
J. Raley at (1-561-995-7265)
and tell her you're a Gary Halbert subscriber and you want all the
details. But please... don't call if you are merely a "certified
wannabe." Please... don't embarrass me. Call only if there is at
least a "smidgen" of a real chance you will participate.
And, by the way, yes, I do have an interest in this
But, it ain't financial.
Gary C. Halbert
||I've ran out
of space. As far as "Billy's" sex life is concerned,
I'll try to get to that in another issue.
Copyright © 2003 Gary C. Halbert. All Rights